A Traditional Mothering Sunday

And off to church, I go

Being on the steward’s rota today, I left for church early having checked if the weather, though cold, would also be affected by rain. The prognosticators and readers of the tea leaves had surmised that the times to expect rain would coincide with when I was fully sheltered at church, however, it being Manchester, you should always be prepared.

As I walked to church, I took the opportunity to conduct a video conversation with Brian and we pleasantly bantered until I was about to step through the south door main entrance to the cathedral.

It being Mothering Sunday and I have much of an affinity to the traditional than the emerging trend of Mother’s Day, it was one or the other part, I needed to fulfil. Essentially, Mothering Sunday is the Sunday you go to worship in the church wherein you were baptised, failing which you make a beeline to attend the cathedral or mother church of the diocese.

The baptisms of note

Now, I was first baptised the Anglican way with the sprinkling of water at a baptismal font just 3 weeks short of 49 years ago at St. Luke’s (Anglican) Church in Jos. Suffice it to say, that is a long way from here and quite a distant past in my memory, I was just over 8 years old and it was an activity initiated by my parents than one I understood the significance of. Apart from the certificate of baptism preserved and intact from that long ago, I recall nothing more.

12 years later, there was a river, and I was among charismatic Christians. Then I had a better understanding of what the purpose of a baptism was apart from being fully persuaded of the significance of it. I was fully immersed in water as I pinched my nose, then pulled up out of the water in a symbolic demonstration of Romans 6:4 “Therefore we are buried with Him by baptism into death, that just as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.”

Whilst the new birth is instantaneous in terms of whoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved Romans 10:13, the realisation of walking in the newness of life is a process of learning, failing, relearning, appreciating human frailty and the preponderance of grace, along with jettisoning the bondage to the law through moving from works to receiving and accepting the free gift of life-affirming grace. It has been harder for me than the words seem to state, the mercifulness and lovingkindness of God assures me, it is possible.

In the second instance of my baptism without contemning the purpose of the first, we had a gathering of believers without a building in the traditional sense of a church as we are in school. Unlike in the Anglican Communion or the Established Church, Mothering Sunday in terms of revisiting a church where one was baptised is impossible. It was contemporaneously attached to time, manner, and place, the rest is recalled from memory.

On duty and then discussion

Welcoming worshippers into the cathedral, I handed out the service pamphlets before taking my seat at the start of the processional hymn and then at the offertory hymn, I took up my assigned aisle to take the collection. Later, I ushered the congregants to receive the communion and my duties were completed after I helped an old lady who had some issues with tickets, she thought she had purchased, but could not find evidence of the transaction being completed.

The weekly Lenten talks started soon after the social gathering to have tea and coffee with biscuits. The gathering allows us to meet people we know and new attendees with all the general conversation that ensues.

We are using the Archbishop of Canterbury’s Lent Book 2024, titled Tarry Awhile by Dr Selina Stone which comes in book, Kindle (electronic book), and Audible (audio book) format. It is a study of black spirituality that inspires quite engaging conversation and discussion in the Lenten talks group.

I have read and listened to some challenging and insightful bits of perspective and theological discourse that I cannot adequately cover in this blog. If you can get the book, you will be mightily blessed by what you learn in the process.

The Village Church

Getting home, I did not have more than 90 minutes to spare before heading out for the bimonthly Village Church around the corner from mine that takes place on the second and fourth Sunday of the month. Even though I felt like I should get on my bed and snuggle under my duvet, this community service that attends to the spiritual needs of the LGBTQ++ cohort under the auspices of the Church of England and supported by our bishops is a wonderfully enriching experience with an intimate feel that allows me the participation in the Holy Communion, twice on Sunday.

If anything, it is better recognised by the church that has in the past persecuted and castigated minority groups that Jesus Christ died for all and the purpose of the church is to give everyone access and facility to exercise their Christianity and spirituality without condemnation or judgement, and in particular, those that had before been hurt by traditions, denominations, churches, or the modern-day equivalent of the Pharisaic class. 

Ash Wednesday as I participated

Learning a new focus of trust

This week has been one of the interesting contrasts in how to maintain focus in an environment of distractions, some harmful and others hopefully more beneficial. One thing I had decided was to be more participatory in this season of the church calendar, and this I mean, the Church of England – Anglican Communion arrangement.

I probably could have given some heed to doing something for Shrove Tuesday, I had the flour, and I could have made pancakes, yet I was exhausted and drawn away in thought and reminiscences that were quite unprofitable and redolent of interactions with seemingly sincere but quite unreliable people. Eventually, I find I can step away from the situation to reflect on how in words of the old hymnal, Stand Up, Stand Up for Jesus, ‘the arm of flesh will fail you, ye dare not trust your own’, or that of any other too.

An eerie feeling of compounding disappointment and dejection seeks to occupy your thoughts and reins for which despondency intends to feed you the tears of apparent helplessness, yet you cannot relent for the hope that abounds and the love of God you are striving to understand and learning to believe beyond platitude and the scribed to experience.

A mortal in eternal purpose

The Lenten season is ushered in with Ash Wednesday and I had some excitement about attending the church service which was termed the Holy Eucharist with the Imposition of Ashes. It is one tradition I have never before participated in. When I told my mum about it earlier today, she thought it was a purely Roman Catholic tradition, I guess there are many areas where Roman Catholic and Anglican conventions overlap or are shared.

It was a solemn meeting in a medium capacity seating for that time in the afternoon. The highlight was The Imposition of the Ashes, wherein, the congregation files to the front before the ministers to have the sign of the cross in ashes placed on their foreheads. With the words said:

Remember that you are dust,
and to dust you shall return.
Turn away from sin,
and be faithful to Christ.

Taken from the second clause in the verse of Genesis 3:19, “for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.”

Quite a moment of spiritual recognition and an almost trembling appreciation of our humble mortality in the context of an eternal dispensation. I do wonder if it would have felt more poignant if that was said in Latin, “Memento, homo, quia pulvis es, et in pulverem reverteris.”

Intention for guidance and direction

After that, we then participated in the Breaking of the Bread signifying the work of redemption and the new covenant in Jesus Christ as our gathering ended quietly apart from music from the majestic Stoller Organ.

This period of Lent would be used to help attuned one’s spirit to the witness and the voice of the human spirit, given the direction of the Holy Spirit, away from distractions, distortions, noise, and confusion that can so easily leave one unsure of purpose, direction, peace, and guidance.

On the question of spirituality, I am learning that it is more an individual experience than identification with creed, church, or denomination. Where you are blessed is where you should be.

The agreed teaching of the Anglican Communion on sexual orientation

He leads the Anglican Communion

The Archbishop of Canterbury fills four main roles in the Anglican Communion, as diocesan bishop of the Diocese of Canterbury, as the metropolitan archbishop of the Province of Canterbury, as the senior primate and chief religious figure of the Church of England, and as the spiritual leader of the Anglican Communion, though without legal authority outside England, by convention is recognised as the first amongst equals of all Anglican primates worldwide.

In that capacity, he can speak for all Anglicans in England and worldwide. The position whilst ecumenical with interfaith ramifications and political as it might appear is significant and the utterances of the Archbishop whilst well-considered are of great import to all Anglicans.

Words that dehumanise

I return to the Statement by the Archbishop of Canterbury regarding comments by the Primate of Nigeria published yesterday, to highlight a particularly forceful comment made by the Archbishop of Canterbury that I hope the Primate of Nigeria will take into consideration and reflect on deeply, if he decides to provide a public response in due course. [Archbishop of Canterbury: Statement]

“I completely disagree with and condemn this language. It is unacceptable. It dehumanises those human beings of whom the statement speaks.”

The Archbishop was unequivocal in that he disagreed, condemned, and found unacceptable what the Primate of Nigeria says clearly indicating that there can be no tolerance of the dehumanisation of other human beings, no matter what a religious leader believes or what they might think motivates them.

Baptised, believing and faithful members

Whilst the Anglican Communion may agree on matters of doctrine, the liturgy and sacraments amongst the many aspects of doctrine that governs the expression of faith, the service of the church is to humanity, to reach and to heal, to bless and to lift out of distress, to give life and humanise, to succour, and to care.

It would appear that even amongst leaders of the Anglican Communion, some might need to be reminded of that and how their use of language lacks the mind of Christ or the Christian spirit. At once, the Archbishop of Canterbury points the Primate of Nigeria to the fact that he has deviated from the agreed teaching of the Anglican Communion, that “all baptised, believing and faithful persons, regardless of sexual orientation, are full members of the Body of Christ.”

Reflect on your words

Consequently, if the Primate of Nigeria has a problem with the agreed teaching of the Anglican Communion, he might want to reflect on his position, his ministry, and what purpose he serves in the church.

For all the hurt many of us have suffered as the hands of the church and many who profess to be men of God, we are grateful to those in the church who have welcomed us to fellowship with them out of love and their humanity rather than in judgement and vitriolic un-Christlike dehumanising condemnation.

Christ the door needs no other gatekeeper

The unconditional love of God

“The mission of the church is the same in every culture and country: to demonstrate, through its actions and words, that God’s offer of unconditional love to every human being through Jesus Christ calls us to holiness and hope.” The Archbishop of Canterbury

The statement above was made by The Archbishop of Canterbury, that should be the end of any dispute regarding who belongs or not according to whatever beliefs or perceptions we might have. This statement was to address statements made by The Archbishop, Metropolitan and Primate of All Nigeria.

No other gatekeeper to the door

I am uninterested in joining issues with whatever the archbishop in Nigeria had to say, but it is necessary that the profession of Christianity, being an individual article of faith needs a place and security of expression, that when Jesus Christ professed in his own words, “I am the door. If anyone enters by Me, he will be saved, and will go in and out and find pasture.” [Bible Gateway: John 10:9-16 (NKJV)] He was not asking for another gatekeeper to that door.

Whatever position anyone might hold in the church, their call is to welcome not ostracise, castigate, judge, or condemn. For Jesus Christ did not die on the cross for another man to take away the benefit of that salvation from others.

Know the amazing grace of God

Even if anyone might think themselves bestowed with that power, a humble reflection on what Christ had done for them must every time lead them to fall on their knees for the grace upon them and the mercy of God that they are not consumed as they deny others the pleasure of that grace like the ungrateful servant. [Bible Gateway: Matthew 18: 21-35 (NIV)]

Obviously, there are some that might find some legalism to support the need to cast God’s creatures aside, seeking to ex-communicate, deny them the sacraments and abandoning fellowship with those they deem unworthy of the same sacrifice that brought them into the kingdom of God. That is their prerogative, that you refuse to church with me does not deny access to God.

The many people Jesus met with and bestowed amazing grace on were not the religious folk, but the apparently notorious, the obviously possessed, even the verily dead that were raised.

Full members all

The Archbishop of Canterbury goes on to affirm, “This resolution both restated a traditional view of Christian marriage and was clear in its condemnation of homophobic actions or words. It affirmed that “all baptised, believing and faithful persons, regardless of sexual orientation, are full members of the Body of Christ.” [Anglican Communion: Section I.10 - Human Sexuality]

Maybe the greatest call to understanding the unconditional love of God to the devout Christian today is to find ways to express the love of Christ to others regardless of who or what they are. If that is so difficult, then it is a cross to bear, for Christ bore a greater cross than this for the whole world, whilst we were yet miserable sinners. The call is upon us heavy as we might make the burden out of our imperfectness when humanity asks for the better of us.

The Johns at home in church

Home of praying hands

The Coronavirus named COVID-19 played a major part in moderating affection in our church community today. In exchanging the sign of peace, we took to clasping our hands in prayer fashion as the bowed to each other in a type of Indian subcontinental greeting, the dean having set us off with a greeting in Zulu and our response translating to ‘may it spread’, obviously, not the virus, but the message of peace.

At Communion, I usually dip the wafer in the cup, we were first required last week to ensure our fingers did not touch the wine. This time, the dipping was forbidden, we either drunk from the cup or just took the bread.

These limitations however did not trammel the homeliness of the church community, we fellowshipped with a full choir stall and quite familiar hymns that lent themselves to full-throated singing.

Home of long remembrance

The theme of home and the adventure of leaving the known for the unknown in search of a new home to prosper in linked the readings to the sermon, referring to Abram who became Abraham, the father of many nations and the visit of Nicodemus to Jesus in the search of understanding of the what, why, and purpose of the ministry of Jesus Christ.

More poignantly, it was the tale of two Johns that was of the greatest import to me, for after the Sung Eucharist, the Dean did in another short service say, ‘earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust’.

The first John was born in Manchester became a Fellow of Pembroke College, Cambridge, and rose to the prebendary of St Paul’s Cathedral. He was however burnt at the stake for his Church of England faith, though purported for crimes against Mary Tudor who in her reign espoused Catholicism by persecuting reformers and adherents of Anglicanism. I wonder if presumed heretics of that day were burnt to ashes or simply made to suffer to death with a fiery end.

Home of today’s internment

The John today was a banker, a schools inspector, and master of a freemason lodge with an interest in freemason histories over the centuries. His ashes were interred in the cathedral Remembrance Garden, he had passed on in November, after which were church events of a memorial service in December and today, his family brought his mortal remains to the church for burial. I had never before witnessed a post-cremation interment, the solemnity of it along with an apparent absence of immediate family participation in the ceremony besides the laying of the flowers.

The one burial I fully witnessed, back in August 1977, had family, relations and friends pour handfuls of earth over the coffin before graveyard workers shovelled earth over the coffin. The little box or urn of ashes was laid in the ground hardly 2 feet deep and once the priest sprinkled on earth as part of the liturgy, the verger shovelled on the earth and covered the urn.

Home in church now

We left for refreshments whilst the family reflected there for a moment. The cycle of life in the church which has seen births, baptisms, confirmations, consecrations, the banns, marriages, and a few deaths remind us of our mortality and the bigger community of the church where whether hale and hearty, infirm and weak, or dearly departed, we continue in the respect and fellowship with each other, in communion or remembrance.

Indeed, the church is a place you can call home.

My good conscience is my guide on my spirituality and sexuality

In church for service

The last church service I attended was two Sundays ago at The Cathedral Church of St George the Martyr (St George’s Cathedral) in Cape Town, just a 10-minute brisk walk from our hotel.

My partner and I were out the night before, but as it was our last weekend together, we were determined to attend church that morning. I got up first and to get Brian out of bed I had to sprinkle water on his face, I eventually succeeded.

We left our hotel dressed in matching jackets and just missed the processional hymn. We settled in our seats and joined the sung eucharist of the 1^st Sunday after Epiphany.

Sharing our spirituality

Brian is the first partner I have had with whom I have been able to freely express my spirituality and this in the Church of England, the history of its inception is somewhat irrelevant to the scheme of things, because whilst the church appears to attempt to conform to conservative values, it has to exist in contemporary times and there is much adaptation going on, despite the public pronouncements.

We chose St. George’s Cathedral because it has a history of tolerance, acceptance, and the subversive, especially during the Apartheid era. One of the stained-glass windows has a depiction of the Garden of Eden with a black Adam, from the mid-1960s.

A traditional welcome

It is the seat of the Archbishop of Cape Town who is also the Primate of the Anglican Church of South Africa occupied once by the Archbishop Emeritus Desmond Tutu from 1986 to 1996. He has always been an ally of the LGBTQ+ community and the church in its outreach beyond the tenure of this world-renowned and well-respected archbishop continues to invite all people to fellowship and take communion in the congregation of the blessed.

It is interesting that my home church in Manchester does not appear to be as traditional as the one in Cape Town, canticles, incense and Latin feature a lot in the service. There are times when I almost feel lost in what is going on. In Cape Town, the clergy conducts most of the service in English, but the readings will be done in isiXhosa and Afrikaans along with the Eucharistic and Communion prayers.

Bearing gifts to all

It makes for an inclusive and representative church and it is impossible that we have not been noticed since we began attending the church since Easter 2019. That last Sunday, as the offering was being taken, we were approached by the ushers to help take the communion bread and wine to the altar.

Confused as we were, we were well instructed and walked the full length of the church down the aisle just behind the incense bearer to the altar where we presented the gifts, bowed to the clergy and then stood aside for the gifts to be blessed before we walked back to our seats.

The surprise, the amazement, the suddenness of being randomly chosen to serve in the church, only for a moment meant so much to us. Whilst not reading a vindication of our relationship to it, at the very least, when Brian and I get married, we would indeed seek to be blessed at the St George’s Cathedral.

On the matter of who we are

On the issue of the pastoral guidance [PDF] issued by the Anglican Church regarding abstinence from sex in gay or straight civil partnerships, it is a matter of conscience for me. That they have adopted the directive that sex outside marriage “falls short of God’s purpose for human beings” is understandable as it helps avoid the straining schism in the church between traditionalists and modernists, I do not intend for it to be dogma, instruction or commandment. [The Guardian]

I am as a human being and sexual being, I find expression for it in the relationship that best helps me thrive as a human being. I am a gay man, I am in love with another man, our relationship is predicated on more than just sex, it is a matter of the heart, of the soul and of the body, the moments shared, the love we have for each other that is not available to another, just between us. I do not also intend to return to an early time in my life where who I was consumed me with guilt and self-loathing, for what I could neither change nor deny.

In my good conscience

Maybe some people are called to abstinence and others to celibacy, it is a gift for which not everyone is equipped to observe without fallibility. The pastoral guidance seeks to impose the impossible about human expression and humanity in the fulfilment of a loving relationship, something everyone who is of age should be able to enjoy with impediment when in a committed relationship.

I will neither deny my sexuality nor my spirituality, both are a complete declaration of who I am, what I am, how I exist and where I belong. Jesus Christ went to the cross for all, not for the few. If I in my good conscience before God and man is not convicted of wrong in the person that I am, I approach the altar with humility and service, partake in the Communion and fulfil the calling on my life.

In that, I am satisfied, it is guidance rather than diktat. We live at peace with each other and get called suddenly to serve in the body of Christ. Shalom!

There Will Be No Epiphany

My Anglican Communion

I like the community and the camaraderie of the church I attend. Having been to many temples of varying Christian interpretations of worship and liturgy, I have found a welcoming in my Church of England - Anglican roots.

The Manchester Cathedral or by its proper name, the Cathedral and Collegiate Church of St Mary, St Denys and Saint George became a cathedral in 1847, it was granted collegiate status in 1421, but it is believed a church has existed in this location for over a millennium.

It mixes the traditional with the modern, and I am thrown by the Latin pieces of music for which there are English translations that are sung interminably that if the words were put to the three lines of verse, you might find it stretching to over 21 lines.

Consideration of others

Occasionally, there is incense, but every Sunday morning at 10:30 AM is the Sung Eucharist which is a service that culminates in holy communion. The community starts with the call-response between the president and the congregation when we offer each other the sign of peace with handshakes and after the service, we gather for a drink of tea or coffee with biscuits. There, we get to start conversations with strangers who would become acquaintances and then friends.

The sermon today broached on the subject of wickedness, not so much on being evil but on attitudes and behaviours to others in terms of indifference, disrespect, lack of consideration, selfishness and so on.

It made me reflect on an encounter earlier in the day where one that could be called a friend had taken liberties in the display of a complete lack of consideration for the other that a gentle entreaty quickly escalated into an unnecessary but essential outburst of rage. Yet, in spite of and despite the sometimes incomprehensive and usually reprehensible machinations of this friend, in the heart, there is a liking that prevents the termination of the friendship. It is a trying work of patience.

A pillar of the community

We are given a pamphlet as we enter the church, it is the order of service with the hymns, the readings and notices. One of the notices was for Friday the 20^th of December at 10:00 AM which had been moved back 30 minutes, the memorial service for Michael Oglesby CBE DL, it goes to reflect how I appear to live in Manchester and hardly know what is going on in my city.

Michael Oglesby owns 20% of the commercial office space in Manchester city centre and owns more than 120 buildings in Greater Manchester, Cheshire, Liverpool, Leeds and Birmingham through his Bruntwood property group. [MEN]

Tributes to him followed from the University of Manchester where The Oglesby Cancer ResearchBuilding is named for him. There was a good spread in the Financial Times that talked of his reviving Manchester and Liverpool along with his philanthropic activities. This was no doubt a great pillar of our community whose life will be celebrated on Friday. [UoM][Financial Times]

A revelation of difference

My sense of belonging is getting stronger too, The Dean of the Cathedral is from South Africa and he is known at St George’s Cathedral in Cape Town, which I attend when out there. Now, the Sung Eucharist in Cape Town is even more traditional, always incense, singing canticles and a lot of Latin too. The church used to be the archbishopric of Archbishop Desmond Tutu.

As we weave between conversation, coincidence and communion, there will be no epiphany even as we close on that feast, for the communication of our faith becomes effectual by the acknowledging of every good thing which is in us in Christ Jesus. Our Anglican community brings good things out of us. [BibleGateway]

Courtesy of the William Kentridge exhibition at Zeitz MOCAA, Cape Town.

Making merry this Christmas in church

The questions remain

I am not as religious as I used to be, many questions and challenges from my somewhat rational mind continue to come up against things that were once taken for granted but now need to be explained.

That, we can discuss at another time, I realise I have been to many churches governed by all sorts of interpretations that become the doctrines and tenets of association and fellowship. Some assemblies have been welcoming and others quite hostile. I have concluded that the modern-day leaders of the synagogues are the people who set the tone for how great the reception is for newcomers and those who decide to stay.

The many shapes of God

In one setting, God was an Old Testament deity, fierce and unearthly, ready to exact a terrible revenge for human infractions, in others it was the eschatology of the end-times filling with fear and foreboding about falling short on every account. Then the rituals that were no different from what would obtain at a shamanist, waters and baths, Psalms read until they had no more meaning than incantations to a deaf-blind and mute god.

There was love and well as carping shown from the same congregation consumed with the quest for dominion and leadership above all else, none of which suited my temperament.

All is safe here

I find my comfort within the Church of England, traditional Anglicanism with all its inclusiveness, though that cannot be said of the African side of this movement of people. The simple message of Christly love and the acceptance of others is still a tough message to accommodate by some who make up the clergy, they rail with abominable vitriol, you shudder.

In Manchester, I find the time to attend the Sung Eucharist, I am a confirmed Anglican of over 36 years, the solemnity and quiet is endearing, the individuality of purpose of worship in a congregation of like-minded people from all nations is beautiful to participate in.

To many, church still matters

For the Christmas Midnight Mass on the night into Christmas Day from Christmas Eve, the church was literally full, the choir in full song and there were times they sang in Latin and I did not even pretend to keep up. I guess I still take communion differently especially in the Winter, I would not drink from the cup but dip the bread in the wine.

This morning for the Christmas Day Sung Eucharist, we had the Bishop of Manchester as the president and it was quite humbling to see him shod with sandals. I was in a moment transported to a Christmas morning in Bethlehem. The incense of the night before, the spirituality of the morning after made for a rewarding time of worship.

May the joy of Christmas be with you and your kin. Merry Christmas.

Thought Picnic: Of Charity and Sacrifice

Welcome to the temple

Back at church today, one was caught between the enduring and the sacrifice, that being the story of Christ and the seemingly ordinary story of two men as depicted on plaques and memorial stones in the church.

There is much to be said of both the magnificence and simplicity of Manchester Cathedral (Cathedral and Collegiate Church of St Mary, St Denys and St George in Manchester), its very accessible and welcoming nave and a message easy to the ear, the hearing and the soul.

In the traditional church calendar, today marked the Presentation of Christ in the Temple, the hymns, the readings and the sermon followed this theme.

Accommodation and ceremony

The pamphlet contained everything, this time, not much of a fidget to follow the service. At Communion the openness of fellowship is most evident because members of all Christian Churches are invited to receive Communion, yet you can also step forward to just receive a blessing. By informing a steward before the service, you can also receive a gluten-free communion wafer.

This time we did go High Church with incense at the altar, something the pamphlet informed us about, the pomp and ceremony at church can be quite engaging just as it is spiritual, I would suppose anytime I am in Manchester I would be revisiting my Anglican heritage and roots.

Enduring charity

Humphrey Booth (d. 1635) was a wealthy merchant whose charitable activities are recorded on plaque in the church, but more significantly is that what he bequeathed to Manchester that helped in restoring the church in the aftermath of the Manchester explosion of the 15^th of June 1996. I was in Manchester on that day, just 10 yards from where shards of glass fell on someone not long after I heard a loud bang and wondered until it occurred to me that it was a bomb.

Had he expended his means on ostentatious and hedonistic living, it is unlikely that 366 years after his death any of his substance would have been so remembered and recorded in posterity as I have been able to observe.

More on Humphrey Booth’s legacy – The Humphrey Booth Resource Centre.

Recognised piety

John Bradford (c. 1510 - 1555) of indeterminate birth date is memorialised with a plaque as a scholar, a reformer, a fearless preacher, a prebendary of St Paul’s Cathedral and was burnt at the stake for heresy. The heresy being as a Protestant he refused to revert to the Catholic faith that Mary Tudor (Bloody Mary) tried to restore in the land.

English church history has it that the government feared the consequences of putting John Bradford to death, more significantly, the crowds did protest his burning at the stake.

Honour of sacrifice

What caught my eye about his plaque was not that he was a son of Manchester and of great repute to be recognised as learned and significantly opposed to the direction of the royal court but that his last words were, “Oh, What am I Lord, that thou shouldest thus magnify me?”

When I look at traditional Christianity and what passes for it today, especially amongst the leadership, one can only be moved by the stories of charity and sacrifice, charity that endures for centuries and sacrifice where those who suffer by reason of their faith see their suffering in the light of their innocence still count it great honour to so treated for their profession.

One must stop and think, beyond which the search for Good Samaritan humanity that touches people continues in the church and on the streets.

Thought Picnic: My old ways in new church services

A church for Sunday

Much as I have the tendency to seek out an Evangelical church with a Pentecostal leaning, I have many times before harked back at my Church of England, Anglican roots.

The order or service, the hymns, the read prayers, the confessions of the Lord’s Prayer, the Apostles’ Creed, the solemnity and the ceremony that accompanies Sung Eucharist still excites me.

Spending the weekend in Manchester, after searching for church where I could give thanks, I decided on the Manchester Cathedral. At the very least, because I am a confirmed Anglican, I can also partake in the Holy Communion.

Books and pamphlets

I arrived just as the choir were doing a processional hymn and I was offered a hard-covered green book and two pamphlets.

It took a while for me to catch on about what I needed to do to follow the service. I thought the book was a bible and the hymns were in the pamphlet, but then I realised it was the other way round. It appears the laity are allowed to participate in the singing and recitations but the bible and its interpretation is the job of the clergy.

A modern-day version of the Levitical priesthood, at least in the church setting. However, the readings between Isaiah and Matthew heralded the coming of Jesus Christ and it did not occur to me until this morning that Galilee was of the Gentiles and not of the Jews, much as it might have had a significant Jewish population.

The old and new

As we service progressed, I found that my knowledge was based on the Book of Common Prayer (1662) but the recitations were based on Common Worship (2000), I suddenly realised I am quite old school, Old English, cut from Ancient and Modern practice. Christ! I was confirmed 33 years ago.

It appears my ‘thou helpeth me as I prayeth to thee, O God’ was no more the vernacular, where have I been all this time as the Church of England moved on?

At Communion, I did not drink from the cup, rather, I dipped my wafer in the wine, this I learnt from the fear of catching colds or flus, how we have been seized upon but such modern ideas.

Water and tea

At the end of the service, I join the congregation for tea and then made conversation with a lady who happened to walk in with a watering can in one hand and a cup of tea in the other.

Mischievously, I quipped about how unusual that combination was as she watered the flowers that should have gone into the nave but for constraints of time before the service.

She had the office of the Head of Flowers and to me that was just as much a calling and ministry as any in the church. That is something I miss about church when I was in Amsterdam and in London when I attended C3 Church, there was always something to get involved in, the ushering or the cleaning up was always a pleasure.

For convenience of travel in London, I recently started attending Hillsong London that meets at the Dominion Theatre, which offers the choice of one of four services on Sunday, though, I think I would just find a church to attend on Sunday and critically, it must reflect the community in which it is set.

Getting off the pain train

Leaving the resort of pain

For weeks I had sacrificed my peace at the altar of pain, bringing offerings of agony and lamentations of the unbearable as I worshipped as a subject of things going wrong and circumstances becoming dire.

Along with this comes moments when you begin to lose faith in those around you because their problems, small as they might seem to me are too great for them to see beyond their hills to the valley of distress in which I have wallowed.

Looking for my bedpan friends

You can measure someone’s stress at work with my condition and then say the stress is insignificant; neither can one place the responsibility of visitation on others where they most definitely have their own schedules.

However, in the midst of all that, people have been understanding, selfless, considerate and concerned, one cannot descend in cascade to the depression of the hurt much as all humanly possible criteria are there to justify that feeling.

In the end, in circumstances like this you have friends but the bedpan friends are very few and sometimes very far, one can vindictively prepare for vengeance or love them all the same, I have been loved, that is why I survive, I survive because I have been spared, I am spared because I should rise to a greater calling in my life and make radical change.

Ascend and decline in thought

A hospital bed with its automatic buttons for elevation and decline, allowing for the freedom of mind but the physical restriction of the body tethered to both infirmity and intravenous infusions, a time to reflect and better not on yourself but on others and the gratitude for all that has happened to this point.

I was sorely irritated with the person I shared my ward with, obstinate he was, recalcitrant not by half, stubborn beyond belief and definitely in pain, he had lost his lower leg. He was being considered a nuisance by the nurses and he called all hours, I wonder what jumped on my vocal cords to stop me blurting out a coarse expletive, but I was restrained.

There was a need for him to sit in an adapted wheelchair for up to an hour but that caused such discomfort that he was begging to be put back in bed after 5 minutes but this went on for as long as it was required for him to satisfy that requirement. Naturally, the Dutch would find ways to circumvent the rules but put them against sticklers or enforcers of the rules and the rules win.

Entitlements come with health

Yes, I was cross with him and then he told me he was 81 and suddenly I found a deep respect for him to tolerate his situation but still it is important not to get involved.

It left me to wonder if I could survive wars and whether there were situations where the quality of my character might be diminished for the reason of circumstances in which I find myself. Pause, think and meditate.

At 81, I would have thought one had entitlements but it appears entitlements come with when you are hale and hearty, anything short and your entitlements are subject to other opinions of your circumstances – something to have in mind even if you have many to call on to support you in times of need.

Looking beyond this to times when this would be distant stories with lessons learnt, I thought I took communion this morning but I had the bread and not the wine – an abridged communion despite the concern of spreading germs in a hospital is hardly the whole treatment, I was left wondering what else was a cut down version of what was traditionally quite different.

On the up

Replacing feelings with faith one begins to see how things must change for the better and they would because circumstance that doesn’t kill strengthen you but where was it written that we should be overwhelmed, man has the innate will to overcome, my 81-year-old ward mate is not giving up after what many might called a full life, I have no right by reason of many things including my faith to not see ahead of me the reality of all this being part of my past.