Kemi: Suya Master in London

Update from Kemi: Orders are currently only taken for parties, functions and special occasions; in due course when premises are acquired, retail orders will be serviced. 

Nostalgia of tastes

Now, I have had my share of suya to the point that I can consider myself a connoisseur. From the times over 2 decades ago that I will stop my taxi on Airport Road, Ikeja where suya chefs with almost other-worldly culinary expertise would wield knives like scimitars slicing the beef off the skewers and then cutting them to bits through their fingers with such ease you wondered how they ever returned home with their fingers intact.

Sprinkled with dried spice and some onions and wrapped in paper, your choice of beverage depending on your palate completed what could easily be the meal of kings.

Once I was tempted to have it in London but when I saw unthawed beef go from freezer to fire at the London August carnival I was back-tracking so fast, I could have fallen over backwards hitting my head in utter disbelief.

Suya I have tried in other places and they have been passable, manageable with me just an arm’s length away from a sick bag but for my strong constitution.

Reliving quality suya

Then I visited my cousin Kemi who apart from her many creative talents in the arts and fashion had like any serious foodie would do found out the reason why suya in England was nowhere near the experience of tasty heaven we used to have in Nigeria.

We have seen enough of the bastardisation of our foods to presumably suit what we think are Western tastes and in the process lost the essence of the originality of our foods, just as many ethnic foods in Europe taste nothing like the foods back where they originated – it is a travesty.

I was offered suya and nostalgia collided with reality on my taste-buds, for Kemi had produced the quality of suya that if there were such a title, she would well be a Suya Master, not necessarily with the knife-wielding dare-devilry but she’ll pass the authentic suya test with bonus points by reason of satisfaction.

Choices to order

The suya magic can be applied to beef, chicken, gizzards, tripe, goat meat or chicken hearts, the attention to process and product is exquisite with an order/delivery area of East London that should expand in time.

The business is growing and you can tantalise your taste-buds and salivate in expectation by joining the I Love Suya Facebook Group or Liking the MamaSuya page – the pictures are untouched and representative of what you will get – I present, Kemi – Suya Master Extraordinaire.

Place an order and know that you can delay returning to Nigeria for the taste of authentic suya.

It's a barking barbecue

Hello Doggie

I probably read this twice, the first time, it looked quite humourous but by the second read, I almost despaired at the light-hearted way a serious issue had been depicted.

The writer obvious has a good feel for Nigerian parlance, the Pidgin English, the jargon and the sayings which convey truth like no other expression can.

Yes, dog meat is a delicacy that has made it from what we in Western Nigeria considered an Eastern aberration to the Federal Capital - Abuja, where the chef de cuisine adds international flavour as a South African who 32 years ago began a 2-year apprenticeship for what has become a livelihood.

Mercifully, it would appear the dog meat is barbecued rather than put into some soup or stew where every meal that contains meat would become suspect.

Claims that sell

One can expect where certain foods make many cringe, extra-ordinary claims would be made to justify and entice others into the act of eating the pet. What better lure can there be for a virile black man than to say that dog meat is an aphrodisiac?

The image of being able to hump like a crazed rabbit even in the absence of a mate with whom to express and dramatize ones prowess would not take away from the hopes of the possibilities.

As if that is not enough, others claim that dog meat has medicinal qualities.

Now, anyone reading this might think there are dog farms where the dogs are reared as free range, corn fed dogs allowing for the Sunday dinner of mouthwatering Pedigree - full of hormones and other beneficial healthy food products rather than some rabid lame stray that dared to bark and could not run off when the dog-napper walked by.

Cow saved by dog

Even more seriously, the advent of the dog on the flesh menu only indicates that the more common livestock which requires more attention as a financial venture and food supply is scarce or priced out of reach of the common man.

My Western sensibilities leave me a bit biased and prejudiced against this development, I once had a dog called Scot named after the dog in the Janet and John children's books and much later in life, we took care of a dog called Winnie, once I took her for a walk and the many who saw her said nice dog licking their lips, she was never let out of the compound after that.

But like the lady at the African Shop at Amsterdam Central Station said when I told her of this situation, "In the West, the dog eats with his master and in Africa the dog is eaten by his master." Even I cannot add much more to that or the story that appears on the BBC.