Sunday 5 September 2010

Thought Picnic: Vulnerability offering opportunity

Finally answering the call

I relented this morning when the phone rang; it was the Patriarch who I’ve been avoiding for the past month.

Whilst there is pleasure in conversation it veers too frequently to matters that concern others more than the principal.

Every reticence on those matters seems to embolden the resolve to alter the course of one’s life and decisions to ends that might well satisfy the desires and requirements of the protagonists but those things are not in my purview at all.

Taking liberties

There was a time an understanding that whilst advice was welcome the decisions were chiefly mine, the use of English to narrow the Power-Distance Index allowing for very frank talk should have put paid to this but one might well have been playing soft ball in situations requiring a bit more assertiveness.

The annoying if not bordering on the despicable ploy has been to use the unfortunate times of vulnerability as the opportunity to push their agenda.

There is a case for companionship and care when ill but that should not result in a permanent relationship, worse still was to cite the survivors at bereavement as the warning to act.

My view of friends

There are some rights I can exercise without the need to consult anyone, as refusing to take calls I do not consider encouraging or helpful, the decision to terminate communication if subtle entreaties do not yield the desired adjustments.

One has been reliably informed that friends prevent me from the responsibility of marriage and family – I beg to differ – rather friends respect my views and do not interfere with decisions I have made because they think they know better – besides, I have the friends around me, the more concerned have not been seen in decades.

Despite this, I am

They all mean well, parents are what they are, parents; siblings are who they are, siblings but none have good enough excuses to meddle in my affairs beyond where I have given latitude for them to roam.

So, I answered the call and as usual an antagonistic accusation came forth to which I have adopted the golden rule of silence; this could first appear to be an broken connection but it also helps to move the conversation on – if I had to say what I had in mind, my heart would have been out at the repair shop.

We are back to the fundamentals again – accept my choices or lose your voices in my affairs.

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