Thursday 12 July 2007

Squirrels grabbing my nuts

The Spider's web

I walked into my main bedroom, looked up and sighted a large cobweb, as I tried to take it down; I had to be sure there were no tripwires in the web that could set off alarms at the spying headquarters of the spider empire.

Apparently, my competitors had outsourced the job of spying to this colony of spiders that unbeknownst to me were recording and transmitting information to places unknown. Eight-legged with hundreds of eyes - I have to be careful.

The spiders have somehow fanned out through the house, but since the rendezvous point has been tampered with, I believe the spiders would not be able to upload the information to the spy headquarters and as they expend energy in rebuilding the network, their memory banks would be exhausted leaving me temporarily save from unwarranted espionage.

Animal spy

Living on the 7th floor, I have found that the spy network have not be able to engage mosquitoes in their nefarious activities, the thought of spies sucking blood at night for research purposes is scary enough.

Before you look out to see if it is that time for the maximum effect of the lunar cycle, the Iranians captured 14 squirrels that had the outsourced contract for spying on Iran.

It would appear they were employed by the Zionists and Great Satan - Tut! Tut! They must be nuts, but could it be the Iranian nuts or the Iranians that are nuts?

However, before this madness beclouds our sensibilities, pigeons have delivered intelligence, chickens have searched out chemical contamination and dolphins have sought out underwater mines.

Ah! The dog comes round for a stroking - Fetch!

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