334 days of heartache

Time took longer to endure

Never could we have anticipated that when we said our goodbyes in Johannesburg in January, it would be another 334 days before we saw each other again to say hello and kiss again. We were still in the infancy of our relationship building up our commitments with the determination that we were going to get married soon.

It is quite likely we could have made that decision earlier, we knew our hearts and minds about what we were looking for and what we wanted, but in the normalcy of those times, we were giving ourselves all the opportunities and allowances to steadily make that move without having too many misgivings from our friends about the speed at which we were going at a lifelong commitment.

For a while, I heard repeated statement of Isabelle Allende to the question she was asked, “How do you fall in love at 76?”, her answer was, “Like 26, but with a little more urgency.” I am aware of the life-threatening condition I had over 11 years ago, I am grateful for the quality and goodness of my health today, yet, I cannot live like I have all the time in the world.

We are getting married

I have now, the moments, the opportunities that arise, and the options that present. I fell in love and I have pursued it with vigour and conscientiousness. I am more than fortunate that my partner feels the same way too. Back in July, I was proposed to and it is our hope that despite the situation with the pandemic, we indeed can tie the knot.

If we have learnt anything, every moment counts, what we do whilst we are together matters, it should be purposeful, fulfilling, and rewarding. Long-distance relationships are hard at the best of times. I hope we never have to wait for an extended period of time to see each other again. Meanwhile, every one of the 35 days we will spend together will be a celebration of love, happiness, smiles, and life. I have been gifted the joy of companionship; we will not let it slip listless away. Thank you, Brian, for being the one, I am so blessed to have you in my life and by my side.

The joy in travelling is on leave

The new state of travel

After 32 hours from door to door so much has changed regarding travel that flying is now just a rudimentary means of get somewhere, all the pleasures and accoutrements completely stripped out. The idea that the journey itself before you got to your destination was part of a rewarding experience is quite far gone.

As a loyal AirFrance-KLM flyer, my journey to Cape Town consisted of 3 legs, it could have been two, but I was not satisfied with the comfort level, the cost was higher and I would have arrived late at night. I travelled Manchester – Paris – Johannesburg – Cape Town with the stopovers in Paris and Johannesburg taking a little over 12 hours together.

Now, whilst the leg of travel between Paris and Johannesburg of almost 11 hours could not have been able to justify it, there was a noticeable difference from when made the same journey a year ago. The flights within the two-hour duration were completely no-frills, all Covid-19 security and safety measures brought to bear. No trolley service, heck, they weren't even hawking their tatty duty-free goods.

The end justified it all

On the European leg, we at least got a cup of water, none of that happened between Johannesburg and Cape Town. If you didn't bring your own sustenance, you had better have done enough to sustain you for the journey. It was a no-touch policy, the cabin crew weren't going to help stuff your unwieldy hand luggage in the overhead cabins and you are not to put anything in the seat pockets behind the seats in front of you.

It is unsettling and the only expectation is at the end of the journey the pleasure of meeting up with loved ones. Business travel will not be exciting and leisure travel is now without the component of leisure. The world has changed around us in ways we could never have anticipated, we progress undeterred, little frustrations paling into insignificance.

Having thankfully and safely arrived at my destination and in the company of Brian, for the little pain, the greater gain is the victory of love. I probably have curbed my excitement and enthusiasm better than him, boy, am I so glad to see him.

Pissing from a great height

A turbulent bladder

And so, I felt the sudden urge to use the toilet and got up just as the air steward was walking up the aisle towards me, she was insistent I sit down, and I told her I had to go the toilet. She disapprovingly asked if it was urgent and without hesitation gave me a lecture on turbulence and the concern I should have for my safety.

I was between two minds of either telling her I had flown to South Africa 5 times last year or I had been flying since the age of 4 and I am now 54. Why bother? I sat down, crossed my legs and fingers hoping not to wet myself.

Checking on the piping

I appreciate she flies that route and probably has the training to handle severe turbulence, she was not tethered to anything and the aisles do not have railings. My being of a certain age was brought into stark reality by the Uber driver that took me to the airport.

His father had an obstruction in his urinary tract that resulted in him having a urostomy, the minor detail of him being 55 that I will celebrate in 10 days. He advised I should be seeing a urologist if I didn’t already have someone professional poking around there.

Without making too much of a thing about it, I would have hated to have to tell unnecessarily personal stories about a condition that requires an urgent dash to the loo. I suppose my shaving conceals that evidence of highlights on my beard acquired naturally, but let's not labour the point. I soon got to ease myself, a Nigerian colloquialism with emphasis on ease.

Awkward nature calls

When I got up the second time, I had the privilege of having the door to the lavatory opened for me without any discussion as to why, when, or what. Well into the morning before we landed, I needed another visit, and this time, all the toilets were occupied.

We had to queue up and one of the toilets seemed to be in use for long, an air steward opined that it might be a lady freshening up, I thought I saw a gentleman go in, but you never can tell nowadays, who is who. I declined an opinion with you never know.

I literally ran into the next available toilet, I wasn’t as pressed, but it was good humour as everyone laughed and when I was done, I was quite at ease, took my seat and wondered about pissing from a great height of 10 kilometres.

The world is not closed

To all the world

It is the last call for boarding a flight to Cairo, as people are also taking their seats to fly out to Bogota and Beirut. Going by most of 2020, you might think the world has closed and then you realise that even as we have been careful, closeted, and maybe considerate or just in the quest of self-preservation, people have been going about their lives and travelling long distances too.

Ocean cruises are probably not fashionable in these pandemic times as it appears to be a super-spreader vehicle of late. A cruise to nowhere from Singapore had to abandon the escapade when someone came down with Covid-19 symptoms.

Looking up at the flight schedule, Montreal, Tokyo, Nairobi, Manchester, Buenos Aires, Mauritius, Libreville, Rio de Janeiro, Sao Paulo, Djibouti, Johannesburg, Santiago, it is like everyone is flying to all corners of the world, though I cannot help but note that for the rest of today, there are no flights to the United States of America. A dangerous place to go if the pandemic deaths are taken into consideration.

A ride that tried

If anything, we need the world to heal and revive, we need the ingenuity of our humanity to begin to put this pandemic behind us. Obviously, the vaccine will help, but we also need to be careful rather than carefree and careless. I have worn a mask for hours and thankfully I have straps to take the strain off my ears.

The Uber driver that took me to the airport was a Dutchman of Arabic ancestry, we had quite a good conversation, but somehow, he had convinced himself that the pandemic was 20% threat and 80% hoax. You can go and tell that to the 1.5 million people who started 2020 with us and are no more. Apparently, some doctors he picked up from the airport had winked and suggested governments were overreacting and enjoying the trammelling of our rights.

Like honestly?

Even worse, he opined that the elderly who are more affected are really being exterminated because of their cost to society in healthcare and pensions. I was not ready to engage in such a stupid conspiracy theory, I glibly said, we would eventually learn the truth of this pandemic. There was no point trying to point out that hundreds of health workers had lost their lives caring for others, it was not just an ordinary day at work for them.

The code remains, avoid crowds, close contact and closed spaces, get used to the face mask and as much as possible, socially distance yourself from others. For all the comforts and conveniences of technology, we still need to travel, meet people, see loved ones and find ways to make life a little better in the midst of difficult circumstances.

Travel in Coronavirus times

We all survived

Since I returned to the UK in mid-January, I have been in Manchester without any travel out of my city until now. My good friend was asking yesterday, how I had managed to survive the self-imposed lockdown that I had put myself in long before our government had a clue about what was happening. I just did.

The only opportunity I was looking for since the world was turned upside down was the window to get away to South Africa and be with Brian, our tentative plans for Easter were shot by circumstances beyond our control and when we thought things might ease up in South Africa, there was no respite until recently.

Plans and tests

Then as things began to clear up for us to plan our rendezvous, two months away would have been the minimum to consider, but that was negotiated down, but not by much. If anything, we have learnt that the moments we have together must be cherished.

Travel in these pandemic times presents all sorts of issues, at first, South Africa was not going to accept leisure travellers from high incidence of infection and deaths areas, then that stipulation was adjusted to require a negative PCR SARS-CoV-2 result at the port of entry, then my airline issued a statement that I will not be allowed boarding without it.

There was no getting so far before you hit the hurdles. I booked a same-day test that cost a king’s ransom and still had to do a self-swab of my throat and then up my nose, supervised by a nurse. Picking up mucus from my throat and sticking it up my nose was the ultimate in yuckery (a neologism expressing of yuck and distaste), but needs must.

Travel experience changing

Rather than wait up for the result which was to be delivered by email anytime between 4:00 PM and midnight, I went to bed and by the time I was up around 10:00 PM, the negative result had been posted just over two hours before. Brian’s test in Zimbabwe had a quicker turnaround, but it meant we would indeed be meeting up he is arriving a day earlier than I.

The first leg was uneventful, the lounges do not present buffets anymore, you are served instead with the staff now coming to inform you when your flight is ready to board. I have been maintaining significant distancing though there are others who seem to be unconcerned. From Manchester to Paris, we only got a cup of water, no other service. I would hope that is not the change to be expected in the future.

My mind is at ease, I have a great longing and we would make the best of it. This thing called love is a crazily lifegiving and overwhelming force, I yield completely to it.

Hearts do leap

Plans in cans

One can view the year 2020 as a veritable tale of the completely unexpected and completely unanticipated. You can only wonder if any of the resolutions made for the year by those wont to such activities even found the opportunity to kick off.

Even so, consider plans to marry, plans to travel, desires to see, do, get, give or transact some business, event, or any kind of endeavour, literally hamstrung by situations outside our control. Such is the effect this pandemic has had on most of the world. There is some return to normalcy in places where the leaders, the people, and the policies worked to contain and manage the Coronavirus, but we are nowhere near seeing the back of this plague.

Consider the disorder

Yet, we must find ways to live our lives and go about our business with a precautionary inclination to protect ourselves and our communities from being ravaged. Whatever people might believe, and some have sniffed and scoffed about this pandemic, 1,570,333 people as of today who saw in 2020 are no more due to COVID-19 disease. If that does not evince a pause for thought, probably nothing else will.

My tender heart over the years has loved and lost, there were times when I was at the point of acceptance that this thing called love happened to other people until I was unwittingly swept off my feet by an Adonis who in my wildest dreams would not have reckoned a fleeting glance of sight, talk less of being noticed.

Alert my heart

He became the prime mover, out of interest and daring he observed me for a while before approaching me and saying hello. A conversation, a lunch date, a meeting of hearts and minds, a burgeoning relationship and 2019 was livened with his company and companionship, I convinced myself beyond any doubt that this is the one. I found love in a hopeless place that gave life to hope I could never have had the courage to entertain.

My heart races, a feeling of expectation and anticipation, the preparation for a rendezvous is apace, we have many hurdles to surmount as things we did on a whim now requires planning, scheduling, deliberate consideration, and strategy, all of which we hope to breeze through to the point of our loving embrace. I am buoyed, love is beautiful, life is good, and God is on our side, for which we are all extremely thankful. 

Congratulations on 17 years of blogging from Brian

Congratulations!

On this day we join you in celebrating 17 years of writing blogs. From the first moment I was introduced to http://www.akinblog.nl/ I have enjoyed reading every word. The views you share on the various topics in your blogs are always thought-provoking, insightful, and inspiring.

I have been amazed at how you seemingly get to write on so many issues and are able to get this done with such effortless ease. Many of the blogs that you have published are well researched and informative.

I admire your skill with words and it only makes me more believe that you are certainly a logophile. For someone like me, writing even a short text is always an enormous challenge but somehow you have successfully ignited a passion for the art of writing.

It is always a pleasure reading your blog as it leaves one greedy for more. From this point on we continue to wait and look forward to the publication of your book of which I am sure will be a best seller.

Once again, Congratulations on 17 years of blogging. May you continue to inspire us all with your good work, we all look forward to many more interesting reads coming from your desk.