Lord Deedes Dies

Shurely Shome Mishtake

It is with sadness that I read the passing of William “Bill” Deedes at 94. Lord Deedes who had been a life long journalist (76 years) was still offering copy up till the end, I remember reading an article of his hardly 2 weeks ago in the Daily Telegraph and it was comparing Darfur to the atrocities of Nazi Germany.

Whilst he was somewhat an establishment figure as a Conservative, once a Cabinet Minister and for 11 years editor of the Daily Telegraph, his writing and opinions were for me very approachable and easy to read, a quintessential English gentleman he was.

He belonged to that generation of journalists whose appreciation of age made him a reliable fount of wisdom and no one would have imagined that he was nigh on to a century.

He chaperoned Diana, Princess of Wales as a fellow campaigner against mines in Angola and Bosnia.

At an earlier time he was golfing partner to Sir Denis Thatcher saving the man from the stress of being first man with nothing to do as his wife Margaret Thatcher changed the world.

For this he was satirised by the Private Eye as the Dear Bill to whom Denis Thatcher wrote letters about his life in the background being the husband of the Prime Minister, one might say it was service to the nation.

He covered wars and covered the Indian earthquake at 86 when he had a stroke, he was appointed ambassador for UNICEF at 85; for me, he represents the very few who grow old with infectious youthful zest, anyone would feel comfortable in his company and a towering example of life-long working like Peter Drucker and Alastair Cooke who both died in their nineties.

Of his kind, we might never see again, one is tempted to say this story of his death is “Shurely Shome Mishtake” a trademark saying as a result of his slurred speech. This however is a time to celebrate a full life and I would miss his quality of crisp English.

William Francis Deedes, Baron Deedes, KBE, MC, DL, PC – The Grand Old Man of Fleet Street – who preferred to be addressed as plain Bill is survived by a son who was once the Managing Director of the Daily Telegraph and three daughters, he was pre-deceased by a son and his wife.

References

Obituary: Lord Deedes – BBC News

Lord Deedes -Times Online

Bill Deedes - Wikipedia

Tributes pour in for Bill Deedes

Bill Deedes: Mentioned in dispatches

Dearly Bigoted: Anglican Church requires pre-marital HIV test

Presiding officer speaks:

Dearly Bigoted, we are gathered together here in the sign of prejudice – and in the face of this mob – to disjoin asunder this man and this woman from HIV matrimony, which is commended to be dishonourable among all Anglican clergy; and therefore – is not by any – to be entered into advisedly though lightly – but irreverently, indiscreetly, unadvisedly and without solemnity.

Into this HIV estate these two persons present now come to be set asunder. If any person can show just cause why they may be joined together – let them speak now or forever hold their peace.

Bigot speaks with loud voice:

“They have HIV, it is an abomination”, quoting Chapter and verse and approaching the pulpit with the ferocity of a lioness, the whole mob joins in to lynch the hapless couple; cuts, blood and guts everywhere – we all now have HIV.

This is the bizarre development that has come out of the Anglican Church in Nigeria, couples would have to take an HIV test before their marriage is blessed in the church.

However, if the couple does know their status and still decide to continue with marriage “the church will not object but offer them care and support”. Care and support possibly by discreetly informing others to steer clear of the couple and their eventual offspring and technical ostracise them with the Body of Christ till they leave their parish.

This quest to stigmatise HIV/AIDS is becoming the vogue in Nigeria amongst religious organisations and it does not augur well for society. In afct, I am surprised they have not asked for a pregnancy test too just in case the bride is not a pure virgin. This is absurd in the extreme.

Busy-body church

I cannot see what the business of the church is in trying to determine if a couple loves each other and they have not shared all secrets that might have with each other.

Next it would be all sorts of genetic tests to determine compatibility in what is becoming a slippery slope into religious eugenics in the name of better informed new entrants to the institution of marriage.

The uproar from this must not abate or relent until the folly of this rotten bigoted and busy-body exercise is expunged from the canticles, the hymns and the minds of the people.

What next? You may now exchange HIV certificates and you may not kiss the bride?

This is really absurd; it is really, really absurd - time for God to summon the bishops to an eternal consultation.

This situation MUST NOT STAND!

Clapping for the Zimbabwe Mugabe destroyed

Clapping for the tyrant

This is really beyond me and my understanding of issues African. I am always amazed at how problems in Africa are allowed to fester and sometimes accorded the impression that things are alright when again like I said in my blog yesterday, they really are not.

One can say they reason why Darfur has continued to be the greatest humanitarian crisis in years is because African leaders have refused to stand up to other leaders in Sudan who have decimated their people with a brutality that is now only second to the Nazis.

The Nigerian elections which were clearly unfair, not credible and definitely not free as many objective observers could see were passed off as free and fair, everyone accepting the unacceptable and moving on.

The one that really beats me is at the summit of the Southern African Development Community (SADC) in Lusaka yesterday, the gerontocrat Grand Despot of Africa – Robert Mugabe drew the greatest applause from the delegates at the summit.

Now, this might be a case of history not catching up with the present since Robert Mugabe at 83 is the oldest living African freedom fighter who is still in office, but this was at least a generation ago.

The demise of Zimbabwe

This man came into office in 1980, assumed all the levers of power soon afterwards and embarked on what is essentially the politics of anti-imperialism (PDF) – kicking the white man out and letting the indigenous black man take over the property and businesses of the white men who were forcibly dispossessed.

Now, there is more to the workings of this matter, but these few facts remain evident; Zimbabwe used to be a vibrant economy and the bread basket of Southern Africa, many of the white men who were driven out of their farms are just as Zimbabwean as any other black Zimbabwean – the white could possibly trace their ancestry back a lot further than any of their indigenous assailants.

The fundamental flaws in Mugabe’s mission was that a fair value was not placed on the property seized and after seizure, it was handed over to either his cronies or so-called freedom fighters who as mobs could raid the farms but had not inkling as to how to run the farms.

In the process, the mainstays of the Zimbabwean economy collapsed around a political situation that should be untenable if any African leader had risen up to really challenge the rape of Zimbabwe by selfsame Africans.

Now, about a quarter of Zimbabweans have fled the country to become refugees in neighbouring countries, the majority in South Africa as inflation in the country scales 4,500% and is expected to reach 100,000% by the end of 2007.

The Presidency introduced price controls which were of no effect because the shelves in the stores are empty as Mugabe still maintains a grip on power as a leviathan mite sucking dry the blood of everything that was once good about Zimbabwe.

Sorry Africans

Within this sorry tale of a catastrophic African failure, seemingly respectable people find the enthusiasm to applaud President Robert Mugabe for all he has undone for Africa.

I seriously do not get it, but this is enough to give Mr. Mugabe the impetus to carry on digging his country into the ground with South Africa being given the responsibility of resolving the democratic crisis that Mr. Mbeki has been too cack-handed to bring to any reasonable compromise.

I predict, if leaders of Southern Africa do not honestly speak up as men of principle about the unforgivable mess going on in Zimbabwe, France and Germany would be ready to host the 2010 World Cup because Zimbabwe for all intents and purposes is a man-made natural disaster that is claiming more victims and getting worse. I do not want to find myself in a security situation that could have been prevented if due attention, incentive or sanctions had been applied to get Zimbabwe out of the rut that it is in now.

Aussies put the boot in

Australia has never minced words about the situation in Zimbabwe to the extent that Prime Minister John Howard in preventing the national cricket team from visiting Zimbabwe for a test termed Mugabe a grubby dictator.

I am heartened by the fact that Australia would deport 8 students whose parents are senior members of the Mugabe government on one simple premise – “preventing those behind human rights abuses from giving their children the education their policies denied ordinary Zimbabweans”.

It is commendable and should be the kind of policy Western governments should mete out to leaders who plunder their homelands whilst seeking world-class opportunities for their kids in preparation for creating ascendant dynasties of leadership for generations to come.

As usual, Zimbabwe would react with some bombastic diatribe, to Australia this time, they are accused of “funding violence by aiding civic groups in the country”.

Silly Dingo hooked by Nubian money boobs

A tale so funny

This must be the subtext for a saga – Gullible from Oz – as we read earlier this week of an Internet bride scam.

A sheep farmer, Des Gregor, 56 from Australia had been involved in some Internet dating that blossomed into a virtual love affair with Natacha (picture downloaded from the millions on the Internet) – a twenty-something Liberian refugee who was in Mali. They somehow came to an arrangement where he was to visit Mali to get married to her, pocket a dowry of $86,000 and take her home.

Now this is as incredible as it gets as the press makes issue of the Internet fraud element of the story which led to him being kidnapped by the fraudsters, maltreated and imprisoned for 12 days as the culprits reversed the dowry sum into a ransom for his freedom.

It took some smart thinking on the part of the Australians to convince the kidnappers that Mr. Gregor would pick up the ransom from the Canadian embassy in Bamako which brought his freedom and living to tell the tale.

The gruesome picture of a hacked-to-bits sheep farmer who is already hacked-off by the scam does not bear scrutiny.

Ring the ding for dingo

However, let us examine the whole plot and see how many bells (Ding!) we can ring for each scam alert.

This was a twenty-something Liberian refugee living in Mali – Ding! – Considering the situation in Liberia, a refugee in Mali would probably not have ways and means or would be in a desperate situation to get out of Mali on any pretence.

He was going to get married to a lady whose name was only Natacha – Ding! – What is her family name? She might not have anyone giving her away, but she definitely would have an identity more than plain Natacha which does not look English or French, probably Russian – Ding! – The Australian authorities would have required a maiden name even though she would have been addressed as Mrs. Natacha Gregor.

Usually men pay the dowry – Ding! – If a woman or her family had such a lump sum to give away, it would not be for a lifetime of shearing sheep.

The dowry was in the sum of $86,000 – Ding! – How does a twenty-something refugee from Liberia get her hands on a sum like that to give to a man she has never met who is planning on being her husband?

You get to the airport at Bamako and your true love and beau is not there to meet you – Double Ding!! Ding Dong bell. – And he probably does not have a return ticket.

Ruled by his ding

There were enough Dings in that analysis for anyone with more brains than a sheep farmer to realise that this was looking like a humongous scam of a silly wally that would get the full ridicule treatment from yours truly.

In the end, one cannot say if it was the excitement of getting under the sack with a Nubian beauty's svelte body as his manhood exhausted itself on half-price erectile dysfunction medication or the thought of getting a new sheep shearing machine with the largesse of the dowry that compelled him to fall for this scam – my countrymen would call that a Double Whammy.

I have always attributed greed to people who fall for scams like this, now; I have to add lust to the equation.

Oh! For a title to call this blog – something Australian with a twist of black beauty zest – I’ll try – Silly Dingo hooked by Nubian money boobs. I should be working for a tabloid, this is crass, but I like it. For once, Nigerians do not seem to be involved in this deception and that is good.

Obituary: Micheal Hill

Untenable criminality

No outrage can be better expressed than to condemn with the strongest words and the heaviest hand of the law the kidnapping/ransom vicious cycle that has become the norm in the Niger Delta Region in Nigeria.

News has been haemorrhaging out of the area and one cannot count the number of sons, daughters, mothers and relations of prominent people who have become pawns in the despicable activities of assumed activists for liberation who are just brigands, criminals, thieves and societal vermin.

Kidnaps are the norm

Just 5 weeks ago, these events reached a new low when the Anglo/Nigerian 3-year old daughter of long-term expatriate was captured at violent gunpoint from a seemingly benign school-run and held for 7 days.

My view was that the people involved should be hunted down and exterminated that rat poison on vermin would be considered more humane. I just could not see how any cause on earth regardless of the grievance could be justified by the kidnapping of a child – a madness had entered this scheme, no negotiation can be complete until these criminals see the searing edge of justice decapitate them with mob applause.

As they held the poor girl for 4 days, they were negotiating for the girl’s father to exchange places with his daughter, which he was quite willing to do, but better judgement prevailed against this, because it probably would have escalated into an untenable situation.

When the girl was released we all breathed a collective sigh of relief as the family refused to be intimidated by these activities or consider leaving Nigeria and kidnappings have continued without abatement.

The toll of the ordeal

Little could we know that these events had dealt an irreversible death knell on the family, the stress of knowing your daughter is in the hands of hoodlums who would do anything for money is hard enough and it appears that might have contributed to this sad event.

On August the 8^th 2007, Michael Hill, 60, the father of the girl died of a heart attack which many would say was exacerbated by that rotten ordeal he had to go through a month before.

Michael Hill would be buried in Port Harcourt where he moved to 10 years ago for professional reasons as the Operations Director of Lone Star an US Oil company and ran a karaoke bar.

Saddened, really saddened

My heart goes out to Margaret Hill, his daughter and Oluchi his wife who must be inconsolable regarding this loss along with family over in County Durham that survives him.

Mr. Hill was one of the many expatriates who consciously took the decision to make Nigeria a liveable place by settling there and planting deep roots as locals are baling out for deteriorating circumstances – this episode becomes another blot on the security, safety and liveable index of adopting Nigeria as a home.

The government should do well to rid the Niger Delta Region and other cities of these untrammelled miscreants, it is a duty to all Nigerians and most especially those who have died just going about their lives but inadvertently ambassadors of what is good about Nigeria.

Rest in peace, Michael Hill and may Margaret and Oluchi receive strength and fortitude to bear the loss, more so, if there is anything that can be organised to help the family, I hope the company, the government and community are stepping forward.

References

Child in Niger Delta Kidnapping and Death Threat

Reasoning out the girl's kidnap

Margaret Hill - Home with parents

Apes Obey! Vague dread of the supernatural

Rotten reporting

When I read the 2 versions of the stories in first in the online versions the Nigerian Tribune and then This Day, I knew there was much more to the story that the journalists had not bothered to investigate further.

Usually, when such sensationalist tripe is published there is someone from some foreign media ascertaining what I would call the Veracity Index of the story such that the objective might replace the incredible.

It took a review by Ijebuman, a fellow blogger to see the real truth behind the whole story with a perspective from Reuters/Yahoo. But it highlights how even professional journalists in Nigeria can get carried away with outrageous rumours and print those as truth, but also a reflection on society that accepts such sloppiness without protest – really appalling.

The haunted house

This however is my first instalment in the Apes Obey! Series; dealing with the vague dread of the supernatural.

A man had apparently built himself a haunted house [Source: Nigerian Tribune], read into that what you may, for all sorts of reasons, after completion of the building he refused to move his family into the house because he believed it was haunted [Source: ThisDay Online].

A night vigil was organised, comprised of members of one of those ever pervasive gatherings of people calling themselves a church, with a Pentecostal persuasion to conduct an exorcism to make the house habitable.

Smoke, wind and dwarves

The story then grows legs, they prayed into the night and when it ended one witness went to the toilet and lost consciousness after first seeing a lot of smoke and mysterious dwarf figure in human form.

Another source said after the prayers, a mighty wind blew through the house and sent people crashing on the floor with many losing their lives.

Somehow, some of the bodies ended up badly burnt and in the space of 2 days the bodies were already infested with maggots – there was a time lapse between the event and the discovery.

Perceptions of great evil

However, this is where the story would have taken off – the vague dread of the supernatural had compelled people to gather to deal with a situation through fervent prayer. It would appear they were up against something they had no clue of and it overpowered them.

Meanwhile, observers would consider the house was evil, the builder was probably a crook and that the church might have been involved in other activities rather than pure Christianly service.

17 lives were lost in this incident and though there might be clear indications as to why this happened, any natural or logical explanation would be ditched for some sign, miracle, paranormal or supernatural context making the whole event more mysterious than it should ever be.

Unfounded attributions

It is interesting that the phrase “mighty wind” was used in the context of this story because it could well refer to an event in the Bible where the Apostles were gathered on the day of Pentecost – a number of versions of the Bible use rushing mighty wind [Source: Biblos.com Parallel Bible] in the Book of Act Chapter 2 verse 2 – allowing for another vague dread of the supernatural.

People might question how within two days bodies were infested with maggots but further on in the Book of Acts someone died and was immediately infested with maggots [Source: Biblos.com Parallel Bible] – supernatural or natural?

A more plausible explanation

The Reuters news agency picks up the story [Source: Generator fumes kill 17 at Nigeria prayer meeting - Yahoo! News] and highlights the fact that we have a power crisis in Nigeria that forces people to install portable generators.

The security situation in Nigeria also means that people would sometimes fail to follow a basic safety rule; such generators should not be used indoors.

As it happens, this group of people ran the generator indoors where the likelihood is that they were overcome by exhaust fumes and consequently died.

Considering they closed themselves up in the house, the meeting place was probably not properly ventilated and having been through an exhausting session of fervent prayer they would have been very vulnerable.

Fervently religious but stupid people

An apparently stupid human act that cost lives has however been attributed to forces of darkness.

As for the man who went to the toilet – some of the signs of carbon monoxide poisoning [Source: Canada Safety Council] would be vision impairment, mental confusion and collapse on exertion – the kind of exertion which might have allowed for the seeming high concentrations of carbon monoxide to overwhelm a group of people almost at the same time as to have looked like a being hit by a mighty wind to a confused mind.

Probably, someone fell on the generator and got burnt as the generator ran till it was out of fuel.

When people die, they begin to rot and attract flies, those flies lay eggs which hatch in maggots [Source: WikiAnswers - How do maggots get into a dead body] between 2-5 days of being laid – there might be extenuating circumstances for humid and tropical regions.

I can only thank Ijebuman again for this information about Carbon Monoxide Poisoning and Haunted Houses - Case Closed! [Source - Wikipedia]

Despite all this

Despite this clear explanation of events, it is amazing how the vague dread of the supernatural holds sway over people that they fail to realise the obvious.

Could the haunting have been a badly placed roof tile allowing for wind instrument dynamics; a creaking door or something really benign?

This is not to discount the possibility of haunted house, but in a new house? Except if it was built over an old disused cemetery, but then?

I would wager that a good number of Nigerians would take convincing of the fact that the large loss of life was due more to crass stupidity than some vague supernatural activity – Lord Lugard must have been a rather keen observer and somehow you have to agree he was right there.

And back to that quote corroborated from another source too “through the ages the African appears to have evolved no organized religious creed, and though some tribes appear to believe in a deity, the religious sense seldom rises above pantheistic animalism and seems more often to take the form of a vague dread of the supernatural” [Source: Google Book Search - Nigerian History, Politics and Affairs: The Collected Essays of Adiele Afigbo (Classic Authors and Texts on Africa) (Paperback) Page 456 – ISBN-13 978-1592213245 (Amazon.com)].

Apes Obey! Lacks the power of organisation

A stampede amongst humans

A stampede is an unfortunate situation which might be natural in the animal kingdom but is completely inexcusable within the human race.

It can only arise where organisation and order has broken down and those in charge have failed to govern their responsibilities with any anticipation.

Lacking the power of organisation

My second instalment of the Apes Obey! Series touches more on lacking the power of organisation than on loving the display of power but failing to realise its responsibility, however, they are closely related.

In a situation where experienced people are losing their jobs and very qualified people are entering the marketplace but not getting job offers, one can imagine that any news of recruitment opportunities would bring in hordes.

Taking advantage of the vulnerable

With that knowledge alone, any organisation offering employment must first plan and then execute a process that allows them to cherry-pick the best people on the market without creating a chaotic situation that could endanger the lives of the prospects.

Besides, one knows that recruiters in a saturated jobless market can afford to exploit the situation and take advantage of the seemingly desperate-for-a-job crowd and in the process forget their duty to be responsible.

In other words, we have people who have jobs to fill but lack every organisational skill to fill those jobs efficiently.

The hundred-for-one-job market

In this case [Source: BBC NEWS | Africa | Nigerian stampede survivor's ordeal], there were 100 openings in the Nigerian Immigration Service which attracted 11,000 applicants; this could become logistical nightmare, but can be a simple manageable scenario.

Unfortunately, it appears the recruiters were completely oblivious of their market and ignored the fact that the desperate situation people face would not make them the most decorous crowd to manage.

Having not anticipated the over-subscription the applicants were instructed to run from the government secretariat to a college where they were to sit an examination in 20 minutes – such power but no inkling of responsibility for its use.

You can imagine the mayhem when the first batch arrived and a second batch were barred from entering the compound only to be trumped by those who arrived by bus a lot later.

Twice treacherous

It is one thing to treat the people like animals, but then to heap an injustice upon them is twice treacherous and most unfair.

People got knocked unconscious and some ended up in hospital, all because some civil service apparatchik could not organise a recruitment process and control the crowds that have dignified their advertisements with their presence.

Unfortunately, this lack of organisation is endemic, because at the weekend about a dozen people lost their lives vying for 1,260 placements from a pool of 130,000 applicants.

How it could be that fitness tests were conducted during the hottest part of the day that people expired with exhaustion beggars belief.

Some jobs might require the survival of the fittest but surely not to the death.

Culpable homicide at least

In all, the mishaps are not solely the fault of the vulnerable desperate applicants who are clawing at any slight opportunity but that of outrageous buffoons who do not seem to know their hands from their elbows.

The lack organisational skills even though there are tripped by the power to control but fail to realise the responsibility of bringing together crowds of people and conducting risky recruitment and fitness tests.

At the least, the heads of the departments that displayed such rank incompetence should face charges of culpable homicide because there is no way others would realise their duty to care leading to better organisation and understanding the responsibility of holding power if an example is not made of these organisations.

This is a sorry case of people being abused in an Apes Obey! Dynamic just as Lord Lugard’s words ring in our ears again – “He lacks the power of organisation, and is conspicuously deficient in the management and control alike of men or business; he loves the display of power, but fails to realise its responsibility”. Oh! So true