Thought Picnic: Unlatched from Slumber

False premises

Deep in sleep, one is suddenly awoken by the opening of the door as if a child playing prankster has run by tugging at the handle to annoy you.

You wake up startled expecting to see the child sheepishly come by, half-contrite, half-satisfied for doing the reprehensible to us but the comprehensible to them.

Then your mind gets subjective and you prepare to bound out of bed and deliver a severe warning just stoking the limits of absolute rage but you restrain yourself as the door is closed once again for you to settle into slumber.

Possible remedies

Not too long afterwards, it happens again, then again and again, over days as it becomes unclear as to whether the door is possessed or the child is more possessed but ones peace is held all the same giving the benefit of doubt that there might well be something else at play. Meanwhile, the child is scolded by someone else as one settles into the satisfaction that it will not happen again.

Another remedy to this little inconvenience is to either lock the door or close the window because a spark of scientific thinking suggests when the wind blows and pressure is reduced in the room the door apparently flings open, but why one did not just ascertain that once and for all is left to the laziness of mind.

Reasons arising

Then purposely the door was closed and it did not seem to have the clicking sound that suggests the door was properly closed, why does one have to manipulate the handle to close the door? We were close to why the problem existed but not the reason yet, subconsciously, one put it down to bad workmanship and left it at that.

This afternoon, the reason with all its ramifications became evident, the lock was put in wrongly so the bevel of the catch that ensured the door was properly closed and caught off the fitting of the door frame was facing the wrong way.

Doors to dummies

Mortice Lockset courtesy of HomeTips

Let us get really technical here, we can all learn something from this little but seemingly inconsequential matter. One needs a lockset to lock a door, the example above is a Mortice (UK) lockset. The lock body goes in the body of the door itself where you will attach the handle or knob. Accompanying the lock body is the strike plate which can be a rigid fitting to the door frame or cut into the door frame.

The strike plate holes take the latch bolt to close the door and the deadbolt to lock the door. In some cases the door handle is immobile usually on the exterior which means the door only needs to be slammed shut for it to be locked requiring a key to open the door. The lock system can be built into the latch assembly, thereby, not needing a deadbolt, those are all aesthetics but they all could determine how secure the lock will be.

The latch bolt is bevelled allowing for the door to be shut easily but it catches against the strike plate so that the door cannot be pulled open except by turning the handle or knob or by using a key.

In this case, the bevelled side of the latch bolt was not catching against the strike plate meaning the door can be pulled open or like I described earlier, the wind could just do it for it.

Determine why every time

I could have saved myself the subjectiveness of causation by immediate observation and inquiry rather than let my mind wander off into conjecture, assuming a premise that has now been proved to be totally wrong.

The many times we have allowed the subjective to becloud better judgement derived from applying ourselves to the task of acquiring knowledge by keen observation and the logic that allows one to make complete sense of how and why things happen.

For therein lies the smarts; being inquisitive, precocious, questioning and challenging of situations brings knowledge that cannot be contemned, because your thinking, sentiment and discernment will be based on data and facts. Doing it immediately makes you even smarter, we need to have the presence of mind to think this way.

The Naija Bruises of Reply All

Object to the subject

Never has an objective assessment of a situation garnered outrageous subjectivity than when I have had the fortune of expressing an opinion amongst fellow Nigerians.

It would appear the issues of basic netiquette are beyond the comprehension of seemingly knowledgeable people, I wanted out faster than a bullet leaves a gun.

I had written about the use of the Reply All button in a forum where I have had the unfortunate circumstance to find reluctant membership, in which I also offered possible alternatives to accommodate that type of content.

The forum coordinator had announced that a few new persons had joined the community, that was fine by me, but before the cock could crow the first time, 10 emails had arrived in my mailbox, people echoing the welcome greetings to everyone rather than the just the particular new entrants.

True African SPAM

I must have missed something in my upbringing, as I learnt later on; it is in the true African tradition to receive unsolicited email which in the West would be called SPAM.

It was impossible to keep the focus on that issue, by the time I knew it; I was mired in sycophantic acquiescence, dribbled over with the spittle of contrived disappointment and dispossessed of my Nigerian heritage because I dared to challenge an unacceptable convention.

Then, someone said I was bringing Nigeria into disrepute, I had to read over all that I had written, between and over the lines and could find nothing to corroborate that inspired waffle.

Informed consent is a cardinal principle

The issue still is; I was co-opted into that forum because someone just assumed I would want to participate in the forum without seeking my consent; one comment read that as a goodwill gesture.

Where have these people been? Organisations cannot just co-opt you without an opt-in which includes informed consent even if their surveys indicate you might be interested in their products – that principle applies regardless of if it is a village forum or a sophisticated gentlemen’s club.

Read my script upside-down

In the end, I asked for my name to be expunged from their records and mailing lists – for which I received a few brick-bats, I did not say for once that my mother-tongue is in fact English – there is a possibility that what I was conveying in language – tone, context and syntax – was lost in translation - my foible - I say what I mean.

Anytime you are tempted to Reply All, just think about what is actionable about your email and if it is relevant to that audience.

I would talk of this no more, one is utterly miffed and certainly not amused.