The seriously unfunny Kiwi parliament

Kiwis have lost flight

It is a bird and it cannot fly, no, it does not have a big backside and it is not extinct like the dodo. It belongs to a distant group of islands that are fast losing their sense of humour that is if they ever had any humour at all. It is the land of the kiwi and the humanoid Kiwis are beginning to look like birds that cannot fly.

All that feet stamping and making funny faces when the players of their most popular sport meet with other nations leaves me almost ready to laugh but I am not impressed at all, the haka is no more a challenge and hardly a dare anymore.

Can't say this of politicians

Why are the kiwis at this end of a mild vituperation? Because their representatives, politicians who have become too much of themselves to be spoken about have promulgated a law that bans political satire - or rather politicians in parliament can no more be butts of jokes or elements in a satirical commentary.

As it stands, broadcasters or anyone else to cannot use footage of the chamber for "satire, ridicule or denigration", rather than get creative with satirising parliament, we must now watch a live feed on television of Kiwi members of parliament in ridiculous states of debate and appearance doing everything to denigrate themselves and abrogate whole free enterprise of democracy.

Democratic death throes

For a once lively democracy to arrogate to themselves the equivalent of lèse majesté laws beggars belief and it would definitely encourage despotic rulers pretending to lead democracies to enact even worse laws of sedition and stifle the freedom of the press. A democracy without satire might as well be an autocracy.

When men have lost the ability to laugh at themselves or cannot abide the occasional snigger and would be offended by a guffaw at their expense, they have definitely lost the will to enjoy life, if not the will to live.

Bad news from NZ

But New Zealand is now in the news and this new law is an excellent way of designating it a backwater in the middle of nowhere which probably is in the Southern Hemisphere.

Americans might know New Zealand for being the land where the Lord of the Rings was filmed, it is definitely now below middle-earth and the orcs have laid siege on parliament with tyranny - what can one say than for God to save the sheep from murderous laws.

Looking for football miracles

Having only seen highlights of most matches of the World Cup, I am concerned about the number of red cards that have been shown to players.

Team managers might have to get tactical such that once a yellow card is shown, the offender is pulled off the field before the second yellow card takes the player out of the next game.

However, it does appear that the cards do have a cumulative effect over consecutive games; players just have to be careful if not dainty with this strict adjudicating regime.

Reckless tackles indeed have to be punished in some way, but the number of disallowed goals is increasing too.

The tables as they stand read like a heart-stopping news story, only groups A and C have been fully decided with Ecuador, Germany, Argentina and Holland.

North Holland & South Holland provinces in the Netherlands - Afar

Holland? That is supposed to be the Netherlands; Holland only comprises 2 provinces [Noord-Holland & Zuid-Holland in the West] out of 12 in the Netherlands, except if, as in the World Cup, they prefer to be known as Holland.

All other teams with 6 points are through; those with 4 points might end up not going if they lose their next games, and if those with a point win their last games and have a greater goal difference.

That means groups E, G and H would present a thrilling finale if not upsets – it is definitely not over till it's over.

Togo and Ukraine might just rise from the dead, but 6 teams are definitely returning home at the end of this week.

There is probably an upset left in Ghana to make it to the second round, and the god of football is giving Angola something to celebrate.

Having watched the BBC World programme about African Football Magic, it is time that really counts for something like the New Zealand Haka before a rugby match.

Come on Ghana! Do the African Haka and do us proud. A rare case of a Nigerian urging Ghana on.