Incredible India: Usurping Sly Bastards (USB)

These are no deals

I remember writing years ago about deals that people get from hawkers of fake watches and gadgets that roam the social outlets around Gran Canaria commercial centres.

In my view, greed is almost always at play, the hawker looking almost too respectable to be true, sweet-talking patrons about an unmissable deal.

The patrons out for some fun are caught in the trap of viewing what they do not need and depending on how pliable they are will almost always acquire what they do not want.

Weeping in silence

If the deal is struck, the hawker makes away with the cash, a veritable confidence-trickster who has taken advantage of the gullible who have irresistibly allowed they vanity to get the better of them and in so doing acquired a dud with no guarantee but the word of a stranger with no address, shop or traceable from of contact.

When the dust settles, the patron realises they have been taken for fools, though they silently mourn their stupidity and in self-flagellation and self-pity swear to themselves never to be caught in such a scam again, but they do.

Usurping Sly Bastards

Now, in New Delhi, as I went for a walk, I was accosted by persons hawking off 64GB USB sticks for prices that made your eyes pop – surely, those goods must have fallen off a lorry.

I did not need a USB stick and there was no reason to add to my collection of sticks just because it looked like a deal. The best deal is one where you can return it if you are not satisfied.

A few days ago, I was told those USB sticks were duds, now, I did not know how dud they were until this afternoon after lunch, a trainee colleague showed off his bargain buy.

Another colleague took it off him and prised it open to show an empty cavity – that blew me away, I expected some circuitry, at least – nothing but a USB connector and a plastic case pretending to be a product of Kingston Technology, one of the market leaders in memory and storage products.

Bang them up

It is one thing to sell counterfeit products, maybe another to sell stolen goods but to be a purveyor of goods where the hawker deliberately sets out to cajole, deceive, extort and dishonestly con unsuspecting tourists on the streets of New Delhi, one is well advised of the need to walk with caution and offer no acknowledgement to persons unknown, no matter how attractive their wares.

One would hope these people are taken off the streets but it probably is part of the mystique of Incredible India to which some have unwittingly become the fool soon parted from their money and left holding a dud for a souvenir of their dumbness.

Madoff's made off, with your money

My money morphs to Beano

I was hardly 16 when this man accosted me and told me all sorts of tales that I came under his spell, the superstitious programming I had been subjected to through my early years took root and I was about to do anything.

As he took me into his confidence, I put my money in newspaper wrapping to be blessed and not to be opened till I got home. I had been told I should not travel or I would come upon a mishap, just as I knew I was to travel – it all worked on me.

By the time I came to, my blessed money was a Beano comic, unfortunately, I lost my sense of humour that I did not read the comic but ripped it up seriously angry with myself. Thankfully, I had some other money in another pocket, it made the difference between getting home to cry earlier or a 10 kilometre walk.

Lessons learnt

Yes, I was a victim of a confidence trickster or rather I was a silly fool, just young, thick and stupid – what I took away from that experience is what mattered; I will not be accosted by strangers, they have to keep up with my pace or fall away; I do not respond to calls in the street that do not refer to me directly by name - cat calls are for cats, in my view and I do not listen to beggar’s stories, I give and move on.

There is more, but you really have to have a story to get me dishing out my money for a blessing or some get rich quick scheme.

Selling skills not goods

When I moved to the UK there were friends who wanted me to join their communities of fantastic business opportunities as they renamed pyramid selling to multi-level marketing, I really have never been taken by dollar-sign eyes; I stick to my knitting – I know Information Technology and keep doing Information Technology, it has done well for me, that is what I am an expert in.

Everyone else thinks they are some budding businessman and entrepreneur, in Nigeria especially, rather than concentrate on their professional skills and develop that to a niche expertise, they all want to be bosses, they all want to sell and make lots of money.

I told my multi-level marketing friends, I would not do the business but I could sell them my computer expertise, no, they wanted that service for free, what mattered most was to get my money – well, I learnt long ago, they would get none of it – I’ll rather have a paltry sum of money in a rolling lottery than be fleeced by con artists pretending to be business gurus.

Impeccable credentials for fraud

Move over to another end of the spectrum and there is a man with all the accolades, they all think he has the Midas touch but he is as touching as the Artful Dodger.

He was the chairman of Nasdaq, they do not come with a better reputation and pedigree, people were almost begging to get into his fund which was minting money like it was the bank of the universe for those who got in first.

In fact, it was a humongous Ponzi scheme, but who would believe that a man whose reputation underpins the kind of trust we repose in financial settings was involved in what should be the forte of confidence tricksters at street corners?

It must be cunning if not genius bordering on the most malevolent to trade on the impeccable credentials of holding an office of great financial responsibility to run a Ponzi scheme, knowing that people would be flocking in with money in the quest for greedy and atrocious profits – never let it be said that big fools and their big money have been mightily parted forever – Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Boo! Hoo! Hoo!

The numbers are mind-boggling

The damage has been done to the tune of $50 billion and every reputable name in the business of making money seems to have been conned and fleeced making my Beano comic a more rewarding return on investment.

The punishment would hardly fit the crime, he has been bailed to the tune of $10 million, he might go to jail for 20 years and probably be fined $5 million for flittering away $50 billion – anyone who has a heart might well better start having a heart attack – Bernard Madoff [1] has made off with your money and methinks nobody will help you get it back.

Suddenly, I feel glad I met the confidence trickster those many years ago because I am neither impressed with mediocrity nor sophistication, when it comes to my money; I am careful about what I am willing to lose and always have something set aside never to be left home and dry.

My commiserations! One time in your life you get done by a confidence trickster, hopefully it is early and not by very much.

Source

[1] BBC NEWS | Business | Banks hit worldwide by US 'fraud'