The father in me on Father's Day

I could have been a father, I’m not,
For that, I have no regrets,
Not that I can do anything about it now,
Good old chemotherapy coursing through my veins,
Carried the sentence I probably knew it would,
You cannot by yourself create new life,
It was not something to cry about,
For it is my story to tell.

I do have a father, he’s a man of 80,
For that, I am utterly grateful,
Not that we do not have many disagreements,
Good old desires that a son turns out differently,
Carried through life objecting to your control,
You wonder if he indeed is your son,
It is something in which you agonise,
For it is your story to tell.

I know I am like my father, I do,
For that, I’m ambivalent,
Not that we know enough about each other,
Good his integrity and community spirit shine through,
Carried by his sense of great responsibility,
You ponder on if things could be better,
It dwells on the matter of father and son,
For it is our story to tell.

I could be a grandfather, for my age,
For that, there are no answers,
Not that it matters than much even to me,
Good that situation did not complicate another life,
Carried away from the required sense of tradition,
You think of the message of Father’s Day,
It is one of love and appreciation,
For it is a story to tell.

I wish I had a child, I don’t,
For that, it is not an issue,
Not that the child would have suffered neglect,
Good that I would have eyes, ears, and heart to care,
Carried on the wings of great possibility,
You know it would have amazing relationships,
It calls for a different fatherhood,
For a new story to tell.

Blog - Father's Day on my mind to be continued, at some time.

Father's Day on my mind

Some reflections on fatherhood

On this Father’s Day, it has been difficult to get hold of my dad on the phone. My reflection on it is deep and strange, for within my heart I have much love and much hurt, both have shaped many elements of my outlook to life, to relationships and to the world.

In many ways I see some traits of my parents in the things I do, and in others, we can be so different because of the generational differences and the radical influences of time, manner, and place.

A journey to travel

I am walking towards a better reconciliation and understanding, I appreciate that when my dad learnt clearly of my sexuality, even in his deepest misgivings and regret, he did not reject me, for that I am very grateful. Thinking of this, I wrote a poem of my intimate views of fatherhood from many perspectives, if I tried hard enough, all these paragraphs would be in the poem. Maybe, it is a task for another time.

The job of fathering is never fully done, so, the work on this is one that is in progress. After I left my home for boarding school at the age of 10, everything after that was one of recognition rather than disposition, we have drifted far apart and come close many times, it never mattered to me anymore whether I made anyone proud, I lived my life and tried to do my duty.

I cherish my aged dad; he is a fine gentleman of a certain persuasion. If I had nothing more to say, I still can wish him a happy Father’s Day.

Today, We are Kosovans

The Flag of newly independent Kosovo (WikiMedia Foundation)

The people have spoken

Many regimes have rolled tanks over the aspirations of their people and shot bullets into the hearts of a few of the people who yearn for freedom.

Men, women and children they can kill but a hope that has become a movement for the emancipation of the people can be delayed, it can be obstructed and it can be temporarily crushed but it cannot be destroyed.

The Balkans has always been the tinderbox that has set Europe on fire much as peace in the Balkans keeps an uneasy calm in Europe.

This day, the people of Kosovo by their democratic will and earnest desire became a nation – the parliament unanimously declared independence from the Republic of Serbia.

A promise to all

Many have welcomed this realisation and others have rubbished the reality as false.

The leaders of the people have vowed to protect the minorities in their new nation whilst they forge ahead building a new identity and ready to play their part in the commonwealth of global nations.

Any nation that would not recognise the validity of this declaration should reflect of why they would deny a people their aspirations and wonder at their democratic credentials.

A treasure un-cherished

Serbia for instance claims that Kosovo is the cradle of Serbia, if it were that precious and priced as a place of their heritage they should probably have been smarter about treating that heirloom with respect and recognition.

They should have striven to unite their different peoples rather than wage wars (Wars waged in 1389, 1448, 1915, 1944 & 1999) and belligerent rhetoric against the dominant and majority occupiers who have a considerably different heritage.

The deed has been done here and hopefully, we can keep the peace and watch this nation grow into a force for good in the old Yugoslavia, the Balkans, Europe and the world at large.

We are Kosovans

There is nothing illegal about realising the aspirations of a people, the memory of the martyrs whose blood flowed to realise this dream shall not have been shed in vain.

Today, we who seek freedom and liberty with safety are together at one with Kosovo.

Today, we are all Kosovans – Long live the independent Republic of Kosovo, we welcome you.

Reference

The timeline to Kosovan Independence