Wednesday 30 September 2015

Thought Picnic: To those who didn't push me

Regimen is not me
When I review a number of things in my life, I realise I do not have heroes and the mentors I have are not mentors in the traditional sense. It is not like there was some clear example to follow, but observation and experience have informed how things have turned out.
I know how much I resent regimented settings, the moment I left boarding school and the regulatory environment of the secondary school, there was no way I could be persuade to consider doing A-levels when I could go where I would be treated more as an adult.
The kick in the back side
Yet, I remember when after a period of almost terminal decline after I lost my home and was graciously offered accommodation for two months free how my landlord then thought I was not doing enough to sort myself out, I was relating my experience at an interview I attended in Berlin when he said, “So, they are going to give you a kick in the butt to get a job.”
I wrote then that I was uncomfortably looking like I was work-shy with to reference to the somewhat successful life I had prior to being stricken with cancer and how difficult it had been for me to restart my life after that.
Not pushed, not rushed
However, my greater gratitude goes to the many people who probably had great influence over my life because of their authority or my circumstance that did not push me, they have me latitude and opportunity to find my way, believing in me, implicitly and explicitly, rarely questioning, but constantly giving support and guidance.
People who refused to impose themselves even if they could, whose gave advice to offer me additional options and choices rather than as instructions to be followed to the letter.
They let me be myself to work things out both in my head and in execution, then came along to cheer me on hinting that they knew I will come out good despite all the odds.
All latitude
The fact is I have always performed well when I have been allowed to set the agenda, dictate my own pace and take things in ways that allowed me to assume positions in comfort and assurance of why I am where I am.
I choosing my career, in finding jobs, in times of flux when I was still finding my feet with respect to living and livelihood, the freedoms many have allowed me has been more than helpful in not being rushed into bad choices and circumstances. I love autonomy.
It does not mean I could not have done better, nor would I suggest being laidback allowed for a sense of lazy abandon to critical issues, I just had people who believed in me enough and never imposed an ultimatum on me.
To them all, I owe a great debt of gratitude.

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