Saturday 11 May 2013

Thought Picnic: We Never Knew What a Healthy Sexual Relationship Was Because ...

A difficult subject
Sometimes, I think I am one of the many really fortunate survivors of child sexual abuse by reason of the fact that I do not exhibit the classic symptoms that apparently many like me take into adulthood but it is a question of adaptation and adjustment – I am hardly unaffected.
From the time I decided to address the issue of child sexual abuse directly on my blog, I have tried to give voice to the experiences of others and mine in the hope that guardians become more sensitive to the emotional questions and travails of their wards.
That false sense of safety
One thing I have tried to highlight is the fact that the seemingly tight family structure at home does not essentially guarantee protection for the child from abuse and this has a more significantly debilitating effect on that child’s ability to trust and establish strong positive emotional relationships by reason of the fact that they lost their innocence within the cocoon of safety and protection we all assume children should have in the home.
I cannot say the age at which the loss of sexual innocence might not inform the course a person takes in using, abusing and/or exploiting sexual opportunity, some might completely clam up and never find any sexual expression at all.
Condemnation is easier than engagement
It is all too convenient for moralists and religionists to advocate chastity whilst thumping their holy tomes about sexual infidelity and sexual misuse where many amongst them professing the holiest of character and bearing in their communities have made catamites of boys and sexual objects of girls for their perverse paedophilia lusts – I dare say the abused mostly find help from people who are primarily humanists first before some belief system takes hold of their ability to be understanding or sympathetic, talk less of being empathetic.
The need for the absence of embarrassment about sexual education from the people closest to the child is all the more pertinent not by the instilling of fear which many resort to, but for awareness so that the appearance of abuse can be nipped in the bud before it takes root and begins to damage the sexual life the child goes on to have.
The memories of these experiences do not fade with time and seeing the studied long-term effects in this article suggests much more should be done to ensure children do not have their sexual innocence taken away by instituting prompt and effective action to tackle the abuser and meet the emotional scarring inflicted on the child by the experience.
Give the child a voice
Give the child a voice before sex becomes an outlet and a thrill without the essential fulfilling attachment fostering healthy relationships, where copulation is a matter of numbers rather than names and sex addiction could lead to more serious problems with life-threatening consequences. We must as guardians, adults, culture, society and the wider humanity be ready to face up to the shame and difficulty of dealing with child sexual abuse – the child must come first and never be swept under the carpet of convenient indifference.
Give the child the boldness and courage to have a voice long before they are violated and help them with all the therapy they need so they do not carry that baggage into adulthood - protecting a child's sexual innocence is of the utmost importance, it will not come from neglect.
Related blogs
My Sex Post - When I first addressed child sexual abuse that I experienced.

When religion and sex collide

I walked away – The comments referred to in this blog were lost in my transfer of the blog from an old domain.

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