Thought Picnic: Driven by desire

Driven by desire

I know desire though not like the desire many might have. The things of life that make you think you are not fruitful, productive or going somewhere no matter how hard you try.

There are things people desire for me that I cannot desire for myself, our goals do not match even if one can recognise where they are coming from.

Have I ever desired a wife, not really – I knew there are things about me that meant not burdening others with it too. As wonderful and loving as children are, I could never have them for all sorts of reasons I refused to allow become an all-consuming passion that could lead me to distraction – It is not important.

My peace is most paramount

I have been fortunate not to be subject to societal pressures demanding conformity without acknowledging my individuality though the end of the matter is hardly there – too many people do not have enough to cater for as they mind my business along with theirs.

To be honest, I have given up fighting them, they complain and rant, they abuse and curse, they rail and revile, they blame and excoriate, they contemn and condemn – I see them, I hear them, I read them but I answer them not – not to spite them, not to ignore them, not to belittle them but for the little peace I can find within myself to take each day as it comes and make the best of what time I have left.

But what I have I longed for in the midst of the many misfortunes I have lived to see the loss of in health, in wealth, in home, in work, in peace, in ability and in purpose – a new sense of purpose and a chance to prove that I am more than you can lift off the pages of my thoughts.