Saturday 19 September 2009

Take away the pain

The knowledge of pain

Memories can be so etched into ones consciousness of all sorts of experience, but there is one that nobody should want to linger, no, not for a nanosecond longer.

The acquaintance of pain is one you do not want to have and one has had migraines, stomach pains, the post herpetic neuralgia and wicklow.

I had once written about childhood stomach pains that never had a proper diagnosis and left me close to unconsciousness and then relief.

The pain that accompanied the arrival and passing of shingles recently, has not been bad, I have been mercifully spared a situation that could drive you to madness. Post herpetic neuralgia can go on for 18 months or more.

Departing from the pain

As a teenager, my little toe on the left foot got infected that the skin softened and rotted away with the nail failing out but I was delirious in pain, I remember praying that I was ready to pass away for the pain that had become intolerable but after an injection and some pills the thought of death had been replaced with higher hopes.

I have made too many acquaintances with pain and whilst I would abhor sudden infliction of pain, one has become somewhat conditioned to enduring chronic pain that barely responds to off-the-counter medicine.

What started off as nominal summertime athlete’s foot has become a bit complicated, that is an understatement, if I ever made one. Three doctors later a number of bloods need to be done to determine if medication or surgery is required. The danger of both feet being affected looms.

Pain for the pills

Meanwhile, I pop prescription pain-killing pills of 3 varieties, in a way it almost seems Michael Jackson’s cabinet has been raided for my benefit; one of those pills, I have to take only when needed, , well, I seem to need it at all times, the pain just seems to be there.

As the infection is under the sole where putting ones foot down places stress on the tissues of the foot; walking is a balance between halting mobility and the smiling grimace of excruciating pain.

There is no doubt that the nerves are alive and responsive, strong antibiotics might well also ease the pain by fighting the infection; antibiotic prescriptions are an absolute rarity in the Netherlands, but sleep comes from sheer exhaustion, the pain is there but the body has just reached the threshold of tipping into sleep regardless.

Take the pain away

Have I prayed? Have I cried? Have I groaned? Have I almost despaired? As you meditate on other things to receive your peace, a stab, a strike, a sudden jolt like an electric shock is the pain that alerts you to a reality you will rather be absent from.

And though the Book does say surely He bore our pains, you find that you are suffering for what has already been ransomed, your disconnect haunts you between realties for today and the faith to appropriate a blessing.

Mercy indeed, grace one needs, underserved favour would not be amiss, if I take the pills and the pain goes away or I am touched and I know pain no more.

What one feels in trying not to continue this acquaintance with pain is simple, one pleads, “Take the pain away”.

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