Friday 29 December 2006

Celebrity piss-water bargains

Shopping gone mad
As I reclined on a deck chair in the sun reading my Daily Telegraph, I noticed that they had devoted some inches to the recent phenomenon of shoppers looking for bargains queuing up from the early hours for the Christmas sales.
It appears there has been some queue-jumping, jostling and possibly rustling as these hapless bargain seekers max out their credit cards for things they cannot afford to keep a trendy aura about themselves.
In one instance, the till was almost knocked over a couple of times apart from queuing up for 90 minutes trying to pay for all these designer goods manufactured in the sweatshops of the Asia for a pittance.
There is no doubt that one does have better things to do with ones time and as I learnt many years ago, if you have to ask the price, you probably cannot afford it apart from the fact that if you do not have the cash in the bank for that commodity or accessory, you can do without it.
Evidently, I do not do trendy and nowhere is that ephemeral aggrandisement more evident in the proliferation of celebrity piss-water that gets passed off as perfume, fragrance or some new scent of the season - PONG! I say.
Everybody who seems to have made a classifieds mention is now launching some toilet water many of which would not be of the proper vintage for my bidet, then to see people jostling like a mob to get a piece of this piss does take the piss out of common sense.
It would only be time before celebrity flatulence is bottled as the newest fragrance to suffocate the gullible and pong the reserved – the emperor’s new clothes were at least a fashion statement. What desire for piffle.

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