Monday, 2 November 2015

Thought Picnic: A burden of family

It hurts
The story of a family begins with a sense of regret and sadness, there is no fairy tale in this, but one of grieving loss and befuddlement that one might wonder if any blood ties exist beyond some introduction and accident of affiliation.
The silence of the man is no sign of muteness, nor is it ignorance of the situation that has now come to a head.
It is unfortunate that on matters of family, reticence and deference prevents the kind of frank discussions of truth and fact, they muddle along with tolerance and allowance, feigning forgiveness and letting things go where they should had a true expression of feelings.
It infuriates
He has condoned enough bad behaviour from his family, secrecy and subterfuge, dealing in their own conceit as if they know best, they act without consideration of others distressing many others who matter.
They have a critical situation which should have brought everyone together with a singular purpose and objective, yet there is parental disharmony and siblings are in conflict bickering and railing, whilst the youngest, adult but childish and irresponsible agonises with a condition of desperation.
How in the midst of all this, the patriarch having experienced unwarranted abuse brought on by health deficient psychosis was not informed of the diagnosis or prognosis for almost six months leaves one beyond flabbergasted, it is an atrocity of the most contemptible kind that should never be overlooked.
It rankles
Bedevilled as they are by unfounded religious paranoid inflicted on all from the womb by one who has literally never held praise for the one who sired her children, this relationship between them which has gone sour since when memory could serve anyone who mattered has impacted everyone so negatively, there is no model or role in what they seemed to represent apart from being parents.
From afar, one watches with exasperation totally exhausted and at the point where indifference is the best emotion for the untenable. He heard appeals from the patriarch alright, but until everyone faces up to the facts, the worst might well happen and by that time it would be too late.
It stupefies
The primary subject of this situation has been mollycoddled to the point of being utterly spoilt, where discipline is required, everyone but the first and the third is making excuses.
It is not even clear if the lady has any idea of what her condition is, how serious it is or how life-threatening it is that those who are assuming somewhat misguided responsibility are running helter-skelter to retrieve an avoidable situation.
Now, he who has once faced death with just weeks to live years ago knows the seriousness of personal responsibility first before contracting others to help. That people can learn from foolishness is a great thing, but the redemption from stupidity may not necessarily teach the essential lessons.
It’s her battle first
The fight starts with the person most affected, if they will not fight, the battles of others will most likely come to naught, and with it will also be a greater sense of betrayal and anguish at some much being done for so little.
It is a matter of fact situation that is unlikely to be appreciated, yet if there is no one to speak the truth, the lie everyone is living in the face of startling facts will raise false hopes to high that the misery will be unbearable.
He’s done
He will do nothing because for now, desperate as things are, there is nothing to be done when if things continue like this.
If those who have proximity and accessibility cannot be fully engaged in equanimity, there is no point looking beyond that circle for input. Unity is purposeful, disunity is cross-purposes and disarray, one that he will not be a party of.
He has condoned enough bad behaviour from his family, without a change of heart, he has no heart for this or anything else. Maybe it is time to disown this burden of a family, sad as that conclusion might seem. Things have come to a head and there is only so much emotion one can expend on a reprehensible situation, regardless of who is involved.


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