Monday, 21 January 2008

Widespread Gusset Anxiety

The question again

One can only sympathise with Jeremy Paxman as his indefatigable penchant to obtaining an answer to a question that he does not mind asking as many as 12 times, he gives focus to another area of serious concern for men – their underwear.

Clearly, the importance of the right support with ones undergarments cannot be over-emphasized.

When I was in secondary school, you had to tuck your manhood underneath which meant your underwear had to be flexible, comfortable and fitting enough to keep it there, else everyone accused you of “rough parking”, as a car wrongly parked in a parking bay.

M&S Underwear

It would appear Jeremy Paxman shops for underwear at the Altar of the Patron Saint of Undergarments in the temple buildings of Marks and Spencer (M&S).

Now, I have never shopped there for my underwear despite the reputable it has in the United Kingdom, my only experience of the service one can get on those matters was when a new check-out till was opened for the lengthening queue – the tiller lady had a name-tag with Bra Advisor as her job title.

I doubt if there is a Briefs or Boxers Advisor on the staff of Marks and Spencer but Mr. Paxman wants answers to certain questions and in particular, the one about why his trusted underwear bought at an M&S store does not offer the customary support.

He has written the newly ennobled chief executive Sir Stuart Rose about what he politely referred to as a “widespread gusset anxiety”.

Boxers are horrible

Evidently, those who asked the question if Mr. Paxman is a briefs or boxers man should have deduced that boxers provide no support; they, boxers are horrible to say the least.

Now, I can say I have never acquired a rag of Calvin Klein’s or any of those things that young men wear and have to show off by walking the streets with their trousers round their ankles as a fashion statement.

I am a Sloggi’s man, with the choice of tanga, maxi, mini, midi and shorts, only the maxi and shorts give me the support I require. They are getting rarer in the stores but every opportunity I get to find them; I take them off the shelf.

Meanwhile, I hope Sir Stuart Rose has some good answers for Jeremy Paxman, else he would really have his knickers in twist and hopefully he would wince with pain in response to a kick to the goolies. We need support.

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