Thursday 18 May 2023

The baring without blushing

Nothing too strange about it

It is strange when I remember the first time, I was moved from my bed to take a shower after days of having a wipe down in my hospital bed for days. It was not comfortable at all as the pain in my foot with fungating tumours was still unbearable, but this was an opportunity to have a full rinse down and I somewhat looked forward to it, still.

The nurse, a female was very helpful in getting me to the bathroom and as soon as she did, she was making for the exit with speed to save the embarrassment of seeing my nudity. In my state, it would have been impossible to reach certain parts apart from how the distraction of pain limited my manoeuvrability. I first told her she could stay and then said, I couldn’t be the strangest sight or patient she’d had to bathe, her presence would be more than helpful.

I was in a hospital, there was no point being bashful and I could care less for what conversation she might have somewhere else where what transpired during her day at work became the topic of frivolity and amusement. I won’t be there to listen and participate, it did not bother me.

Exposing things to help things

It just so happens that there are times you need to bare your soul and share intimate secrets of your life in the process of getting the kind of useful help you require. Coming from a culture where much is concealed than revealed, where cultural pride limits the expression of vulnerability or need, we consequently do not avail ourselves of availability or supply. Inculcated personality traits militate against presenting yourself as brutally honest as is necessary.

Finding someone who can relate to that somewhat taciturn cultural trait can be very useful because they can eventually find the form of words to probe deeper and elicit the information that is usually difficult to present at the onset. Besides, there is much that we discount or have consigned to the recesses of memory, probably forgotten from times before that have been influential and possibly the formation of character and outlook, which we at present might disagree is impactful when in reality it is consequential.

You want to avoid dredging up the past to explain the cracks in the present that are foundational to issues that might manifest inadvertently in the future. Disposition actively compartmentalises situations you would rather not remember for any purpose but is germane to issues to hand. Yet memory is interesting as it can give the best context to why you are where you are.

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