Tuesday 12 May 2009

Hotel life: Faced with scary mornings

The company of tables

I was down for breakfast and my inability to remember faces got the better of me. Guests get allocated a table for dinner for the duration of their stay in the hotel.

Being alone I have always required that I be put on a table adjacent to others so that I could strike up conversation and hopefully have my dinner with a modicum of social significance rather than rushing through a 3-course meal in less than 30 minutes.

The maitre ‘d always seems to get it very right, I usually get sat next to English speaking guests and I also have the choice of moving tables or having an earlier sitting for dinner. This could be 18:00hrs instead of 20:00hrs, I prefer the later sitting.

Cannot see it all

The retired couple is from Yorkshire, Skipton in fact which seems to have a reputation that could make my face go bright red – the Women’s Institute there is breaking new ground at least that is where the Calendar Girls [1] are from, the demure ladies who have posed for calendars with strategically place home goods to cover their obvious nudity.

This break with traditional country wife imagery was to raise money for leukemia research and the calendars have raised upwards of 2 million pounds.

However, it highlights the fact that you can never know what goes on in these places and when you do, do prepare to be shocked if you have feeble sensibilities.

Having good company

Robert and Vera are quite likeable though I have not been able to glean enough about them, I know that Vera has been a secretary in education and in the car industry, she appeared to have enjoyed what she did, in fact, I suggested that secretaries are usually the lifeblood of a business even though they are not accorded that much recognition for their services.

A few days ago, Vera seemed to choke on a her steak that she was almost violently sick, I was quite concerned but in what could only be evident when observed Robert was immediately by her side ready to do everything to make her comfortable and better.

He had immediately passed her his napkin, but then from observation he was almost more chivalrous than a knight, it was touching but isn’t that was long marriages are supposed to do?

A morning of terror

Anyway, like I said at the beginning of the blog, I saw this lady sat reading a paper which I should have first checked was English before becoming too forward in my enthusiasm to be friendly.

I thought it was Vera so made to say Good morning, and persisted till she acknowledged my presence, it was then that I realised it was not Vera but I had to follow through the awkward situation I had put myself in.

I was not prepared for the response, she was first startled, she jumped in what was certainly not mock terror and was too late to gather herself to respond and suddenly I felt like a gold-digger with an interest in a sugar mummy – I could not have been more embarrassed as I made for my seat sorry for the fact that the lady must have had some experiences in her life that probably should be left untold.

Single older women in luxury hotels, well, I just have to be very, very careful, I cannot be responsible for situations that could create serious emergencies – that is hotel life, for you.


[1] Calendar Girls - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

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