Thursday 24 April 2008

Maybe was a cornflake boy

My Genesis in cornflakes
Well, well, the scientists have brought us good news about the boys, I never was a cornflake girl, and I thought that was a good solution, now I know more.
As mum stepped into the kitchen that summer morning in 1965, she must have had a bowl of cereal which eventually aided conception that turned out to be a male.
Yes, as I was saying, research has now indicated that a woman’s chance of having sons instead of daughters depends on having cereals and not skipping breakfast.
I would suppose mum wondered if she should have Kellogg’s Cornflakes or Weetabix, but that makes me wonder how I turned out.
Cornflakes for blondes, bran for brains?
For instance, could it be that she did not finish her breakfast and hence I became an early term baby?
Or maybe cornflakes should have helped me become blonde and my brown eyes are derived from Weetabix.
With the array of cereals on the market today from tasteless but healthful bran, through muesli that is the equivalent of a complete mouth workout that tires you out before the third spoon to fancy Shreddies or Frosties – you are probably on the way to boy-a-la-cereal.
Now, if you had nuts in your cereal, you might end up with a mad child – no original idea of mine, the scientists have put me on the top of the helter-skelter of outrageous imagination and given me a push – Stop! I can’t.
Eat the cereal and ditch the packet
The scientists cover much more ground by asserting high-calorie breakfasts are the best guarantee of influencing the gender of the baby and I begin to wonder if the research is worth the paper of a million Zimbabwean dollars.
The Western slant of this research cannot be overlooked as I see faces of hunger in other parts of the world with boys in tow – who sponsors this kind of stuff?
Frankly, one cannot write much more about this without getting obtusely facetious and quite derisive, but before the ladies wanting boys take all the cereal off the supermarket shelves in a make-boy frenzy and then realise this is not really happening – You bet your life it is a boy – a cornflake boy!
Who would be satisfied with a tom-boy? Check the gender and sue the cereal company.
The ideas of cornflake girl and cornflake boy are derived from a song (YouTube link) by Tori Amos.

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