Yuletide Pilferer, present

Homecoming Challenges

On my return from Cape Town in early September, I was informed that the keypad on our antiquated door entry system had become sticky. You could not guarantee getting the code in after an umpteenth number of tries before having to go around the back of the building to gain access to the apartment block.

Worse for me was being already pressed by the time I got to the door, promising myself that I only had a few more steps before I wet myself. Many an unfortunate mishap of bladder incontinence occurred as a personal event when you were close enough to home, before the public saw something amiss, without any knowledge of the backstory.

Temporary Solutions

The keypad will not be replaced, as the parts are impossible to reorder. Instead, we have a temporary fix, along with facial recognition entry systems installed at other entry points in the village. Our village consists of six residential apartment blocks.

Meanwhile, new closed-circuit television cameras with motion sensors have been installed in the foyers. There is a possibility that I have become the local Mr Bean, making faces and sticking my tongue out at the camera as it follows my every movement.

I have been tempted to jump around a bit until the mechanism just breaks. It is all recorded, and it is only a matter of time before my well-mannered mannerisms are published as the prankish exuberance of a lovely man.

The Porch Pirate Incident

We also had our own episode of a daring and returning porch pirate tailgating other residents or using subterfuge to gain access to our mailroom and making off with deliveries that could have been Christmas presents.

The resolution quality of the cameras is commendable. He, a well-spoken man with an Irish accent and dressed well enough to blend into the setting of our village community, had the sheer luck of being captured on camera and in the act.

Then the presents in his presence presented an opportunity, but his heretofore free Christmas presents lost him his freedom, as he was marked present before a magistrate and is presently resenting his luck in a police cell.

When you have a pretty face, you had better not resort to petty crime. Whatever other deeds are caught on camera might be shared on the village WhatsApp group that I joined long after everyone had had a good laugh at his expense. I was only a decade late to take my seat at the showing of the Yuletide Pilferer.