Fatigue is the issue
If you have been following my blogs over the last few weeks, the reason
I have not given an update is because of exhaustion, I have been maximising the
periods when my energy levels are high on activities on a priority scale.
In terms of the
fatigue brought on by my radical radiotherapy treatments, I have not been able
to schedule when I would have the strength to do anything. I take the rest
when they come and the insomnia that results simply sweeps in without me being
able to control the situation.
It is now obvious that at certain times of the morning into the afternoon strength wanes, and then late at night into the early morning, I feel much better about doing things.
A voice that wanes
This week has been
one of many meetings I have prepared for but I found my facility and ability
wanting. It started with a call from my GP and from the get-go, it was obvious
they had very little knowledge of radiotherapy-related fatigue. The smart money
was to chat to the radiographers and the doctor at The Christie Hospital, they
know what courses of radiotherapy do to the body and they addressed the side effects
with understanding and allowances required.
The thought of
attending a 90-minute meeting on Tuesday left me concerned about whether I would
make it through the first 30 minutes. When you feel weak, using your voice
first belies that weakness and speaking is almost as energy-sapping as normal
vigorous exercise. Eventually, your expression begins to wane and fade, and
noticeably so. The conference lasted just under 95 minutes, on cancer
support care and services available to me.
However, on
Wednesday, I had favourable scheduling to address some activities assigned to
me first, I apologised for my low energy levels as the morning was full of
meetings and the afternoon session was at the point that I was ready to throw
in the towel. My determination was to see it through and so I began, my voice a
raspy whispery tone, slow and laboured, I made my points and successfully
shepherded half my intentions with the other attracting three apologies from an
interventionist that should have done their due diligence earlier.
My performance did
not go unnoticed when someone opined that I was unwell and struggling.
Struggling, I was, unwell, I definitely was not, and while fatigue might
feature on a wellness spectrum on the lower end of it, it should not be confused
with infirmity and incapacity. I fight the battles I can and retire when I need
to.
Walking to full
exhaustion
With enough time in
hand before my hospital appointments, I boarded buses to my appointments
though, on Wednesday just as the rush hour began, we were caught up in such a
traffic jam, that I knew I could not walk the remaining 2.9 kilometres to the
hospital, but I had to disembark to see if I could walk past the bottleneck.
My strut was excited
and brisk, but I also felt as if, at any moment, I could just crumble and collapse
in my stride. I willed myself on with the thought, not today, we’ll make it.
About a kilometre later, I was beyond the constriction and an apparently traffic-free
way looked ahead. I was also approaching a bus stop, having skipped about 10
buses ahead of my original one, I boarded the next arrival and got to the
hospital in time for my 15th radiotherapy session.
That walk was the most exertion I have had since I began treatment 3 weeks ago, in the 15 minutes that I was lying on the linear accelerator gurney, I
had a catnap. My journey back home on the bus had me dozing off a few times,
any of the last three stops if I missed any, I would still be close to home.
It’s now 4 to go
Yesterday, the
session required an early start, and the bus journey was
quicker, but my usual suite was very busy. For the first time,
I did not have to present my scheduling sheet for a new time to have five in
hand. We agreed yesterday that if the full schedule of appointments had been provided from the onset, it would have been quite psychologically daunting for
the patient.
Giving you the first
five and then for each subsequent day one is added to pace you without creating a
burdensome and overwhelming schedule. It might affect your ability to plan well
ahead of time, but it is very manageable.
I was called into
another suite, my sixth in sixteen sessions, one of the radiographers had a
Nigerian heritage as she was unsure of what her state of origin was even as her
surname which typically would be of a northern origin was from the Midwest. I
did hear my name called in the correct intonation, but we make all sorts of
assumptions about people that might not be valid.
With that done, we
now have four to go, I like to look at this in percentage terms, we are 80%
done and I am drinking lots of cranberry juice too.
Blog - Photons on
the Prostate - VII
Blog - Men's things - XX
