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Showing posts with label questions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label questions. Show all posts

Monday, 20 April 2026

When You Are Not Sure if It Is Serious

A Night of Unease

My sleep was a bit disturbed, as I had a dull ache in my chest on the left side throughout the night. At one point, the pain spread into my arm, giving the impression I had lain on it, but every adjustment I made brought no relief.

By 5:00 AM, I was in two minds: get up and go for a walk to wear away the discomfort, or acknowledge that this might be something serious and seek medical attention.

AI to the Rescue

The more I thought about it and keyed the symptoms into my AI app, the more I was persuaded to plump for the latter.

I opened my door, set the secure door on the latch, and called 999 for an ambulance, but I was exhausted by the questions and almost felt I'd be gone before we were done.

In the meantime, I had packed a bag with the essentials: a mobile phone charger adapter, a power bank, a notepad, and a pen. Critically, you need to be able to communicate with loved ones and next of kin; Brian and Kola first, then my manager at work.

On the emergency call, I was told an ambulance might take 45 minutes or thereabouts, to which I suggested I'd rather get an Uber to A&E and be seen promptly, and that is what I did.

Into A&E

I checked in, had my blood pressure taken, and was then called back for bloods and an ECG. The waiting began in the Emergency Room, and when the results were sent to me by email, neither the website nor the app was working, so I could not check what I was about to be told.

Hours later, a doctor called me into a consultation cordon and assured me there was nothing serious to worry about from the ECG and the test for Troponin T, which indicates damage to the heart muscle, but she needed to rule out the presence of blood clots.

Blood and Bedside Manner

Her attempt to draw blood was unsuccessful, and she quickly realised it might be fatigue from five twelve-hour shifts in a row. You can imagine junior and emergency room doctors are seriously overworked; the NHS is somewhat strained, and let's not visit the quality and standard of service from people doing their very best under duress, pressure, and the circumstances.

She immediately invited a nurse to draw blood; that also failed on the arm, so a further attempt was made from the back of the hand, bringing the total to four puncture wounds, whilst my left arm was already sore from the earlier abuse.

The Vampire Association

The D-dimer test result was normal. Another doctor then invited me to relate the symptoms again before ordering a second troponin test, which he said should be at least three hours from the first.

I had been in hospital for four hours by this point, so I was ready for another vampire feast. I probably should cut down on my sugar intake; three blood draws in one morning is one draw short of a venesection.

Another nurse arrived with a phlebotomy trolley, and I asked if she was from the Vampire Association. She smiled and drew blood from the already sore left arm without much fuss.

Waiting for the All-Clear

One new development that has arrived at our NHS, already standard practice in the Netherlands health service, is the use of a tube between the needle and syringe. This puts less pressure on the entry point, and I am glad for it.

Once the second Troponin T test result arrives as normal, I should be on my way home. Meanwhile, the wait continues, and the concerns are being allayed.

The doctor came to speak to me in the waiting room to confirm that the second Troponin T was fine. I already knew, as the website was working in the Ambulatory Care Unit by then; the result had fallen one unit within the middle of the normal range.

I was sent on my way, called an Uber, and settled back into bed.

A Google NotebookLM AI Podcast on this blog

Thursday, 22 August 2024

Men's things - XVI

Blogging The State of Akin

I write how I feel, and I cannot account for who reads and finds any interest in my blogs, though there are people who have over time realised that this blog infrequent and hardly prolific as it is represents The State of Akin (TSoA) at any given time.

Sometimes lucid and at other times in turmoil, I am told I write better than I converse, yet I cannot drive traffic to this blog for that purpose, it is left to those who discover this to engage as they see fit.

My last blog gave a sense of direction in terms of certain questions I had about the treatment of prostate cancer. I guess I was a bit miffed that out of Active Surveillance, a Radical Prostatectomy, and Radical Radiotherapy, the first had been taken off the table before any discussion with the patient primarily affected.

I should be centred and relevant

Again, I respect the knowledge and the expertise of the medical teams superintending the courses of recommended treatment, however, even if a course of treatment is not desirable, I should be informed of the reasons that led to that determination. With respect to this situation, I asked for a further consultation, and I received two phone calls that seemed to need clarification on my premises.

I had acquired enough understanding to appreciate from the post-treatment situation that on the issues of future prognosis, the exacerbation of the condition, and the problems that might present in bladder and bowel control along with attendant sexual function, radiotherapy offered the best and most manageable outcomes.

Links to engender confidence

A comment in my last blog gave me additional information through two links, Predict Prostate and Cancer Alliance: Prostate Cancer: Know Your Options, both of which allow you to enter the indices of known or unknown test results to then connect your situation to the predictive outcomes of the Prostate Testing for Cancer and Treatment (ProtecT) study as indicated in the graphic I shared in my last blog post.

The links also offered more detailed information and YouTube videos. At the end of which I was more convinced of the course of treatment I had chosen.

Poring through the medical notes shared between the medical personnel, I finally learnt that I was actively considered for the low-dose radiotherapy, or in medical terms, it is Hypofractionated radiotherapy of 60 Grays (Gy) over 20 sessions, given on weekdays only. The Gray is a unit of ionising radiation. [ICR: A new standard of care for prostate cancer]

The outlook, the prospect

Prior to this treatment, I will attend a radiotherapy planning scan that uses a Computer Tomography scanner to locate the position of the prostate gland to which the radioactive beam will be directed. This treatment option makes Intensity modulated radiotherapy (IMRT) more efficient as it is more tolerable for certain older age groups.

I am also recommended to go directly for radiotherapy without neo adjuvant therapy which is hormone therapy to reduce testosterone, which might well be a blessing of sorts. I think I have had the answers to the many questions I have had, and I am basically looking forward to putting all this behind me within the next few months.

I feel fine, I am positive, and I believe in the best for me, my health, and the enjoyment of life and its pleasures. I also look forward to spending some recuperation time with Brian.

Men's Things Blogs

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Blog - Men's things - XV

Friday, 16 August 2024

Men's things - XV

When the not-so-obvious is ignored

When I was about 7 or 8 years old, my parents took me to the lawn tennis club to take lessons and learn how to play tennis. My mother was naturally trim and still in the child-bearing age range and even though my father had golf clubs, he was more inclined to play tennis and never on the golf course less than half a mile from where we lived in Rayfield, Jos.

I was not that good at tennis for a reason no one discovered until I was in my 30s. I could not hit the tennis balls because I could not track the distance and the speed of the ball. I had a lazy right eye, an astigmatism where the eye at rest wandered off the right depriving me of stereo vision.

That is why I ended up not properly learning to drive for my ability to judge distance and speed was impaired. I could compensate for it as a pedestrian, but not with impatient drivers behind me if I drove a car.

However, the sad part of knowing this truth was that something could have been done to correct the problem in my childhood; like wearing a patch over the good eye and forcing the lazy eye to align and focus. By the time I found out, my brain had already made up for the handicap, it would have been nigh on impossible to retrain my brain for the new vision of having astigmatism dealt with.

There is a correction for astigmatism in my lenses, but it does not perfect the entrenched issues with the condition. It is something you live with, and it is benign that it is not a concern to be bothered about.

Even knowledgeable doctors are not God

50 years on, I find myself ensuring that my concerns are addressed, all perspectives considered, and every option explained to satisfactory detail in my engagement with the medical profession to ensure that my expected outcomes are at the forefront of any conversation.

I respect the standard of expertise and wealth of knowledge that defines this group of professionals but for all they know, they are not gods, their word is not law in and of itself while every diagnostic and therapeutic path cannot be valid without my engagement and understanding.

The prime admonition that grounds everyone involved is encapsulated in this saying, “It is my body first before it is your Guinea pig.” By all means, I should never feel under pressure, duress, or deception in making choices. Whatever course I take with regard to the options before me is ultimately my decision, having been adequately informed by the experts.

I have learnt that I cannot be shy about asking questions and fundamentally there are no stupid questions, you find the form of words to pose your concern, and you have every latitude to ask follow-up questions until you have been satisfactorily answered.

I understand that doctors or consultants might feel challenged, they should welcome the challenge and be up to the task of confidently and convincingly defending their thinking, assertions, and procedures. It makes them better at understanding and addressing patient needs. Anything short of that, demands review.

Better safe now than sorry later

As medical procedures engender risk and can usually be irreversible, they do not run as projects that you can redefine if certain requirements are not met, you want to be sure that all issues are adequately and fully addressed before you submit yourself to treatment.

On the prostate cancer track of treatment of which I have now made the decision to opt for radical radiotherapy and much of the process of my thinking is addressed in the earlier series of Men’s things blogs, I have one question based on cancer risk groups which I have not found in any of the medical notes.

After I called the Macmillan Urology Specialist Nurse assigned to me at the Christie Hospital to tell her that I would elect for radical radiotherapy treatment, I decided I should seek support from Prostate Cancer UK to see if I could speak to a volunteer who had undergone radiotherapy without the prerequisite of hormone treatment.

You need to be quite knowledgeable about your condition with the articulation of your understanding of what you have been told about your diagnosis.

A progression of tests and results

My route to treatment was a progressive set of checks and tests going back to February and the highlights I would present again below:

PSA: Prostate Specific Antigen; this is a blood test that if the reading is high might suggest the presence of prostate cancer, but other factors might lead to a high PSA reading and that informs the next stage of investigation.

DRE: Digital Rectal Examination; when your PSA reads above certain nanograms per millilitre (ng/ml) in your age group, your doctor will use their judgement and discretion to digitally feel your prostate through your rectum to determine if it is enlarged or unsmooth among any other unusual or abnormal indicators. An enlarged prostate would suggest a referral for more analysis.

mpMRI: multiparametric Magnetic Resonance Imaging scan for prostate cancer. This is an MRI scan taken of your prostate with contrast. This means a dye solution is fed into your veins to accentuate the blood vessels and the prostate gland to determine the condition, size, and possible presence of cancer lesions. The most important score from the mpMRI scan is the Likert or PI-RADS (Prostate Imaging – Reporting and Data System) score with a range of 1 to 5.

A score of 3 or more would most likely lead to conducting a biopsy of your prostate gland. This would indicate the likelihood of cancer and the only way to determine this is to conduct a histopathology examination of cells extracted from your prostate.

The reading from the MRI scan would give an indication of the prostate cancer stage represented by a T score and better detailed in the TNM reference later in the blog.

UGTBP: Ultrasound-guided transperineal biopsy of the prostate is a procedure to extract biopsies of the prostate gland for examination. An ultrasound probe is inserted in the rectum and a biopsy needle which operates like a staple gun is inserted through the perineum under local anaesthetic. The injections can be painful and uncomfortable, but you should be awake to react.

While it is possible to have this under general anaesthesia, you lose the facility and ability to react, and some damage might ensue. After the biopsy, you are likely to have blood in your urine and semen for weeks. This procedure is the more favoured of biopsies as opposed to the transrectal one which could introduce complications and infection.

The result of the biopsy if positive will set in motion, an entry in the National Cancer Registry and a referral to a cancer specialist hospital.

The most important information from this histopathology examination is the Gleason score and Grade Group.

Making sense of it all

The investigations and tests above will inform the medical personnel conclusively if you have prostate cancer and begin the determination of the course of treatment to take.

The consultant who conducted the biopsy made two assertions in his medical notes without engaging me, this was besides the fact that the information was mismanaged by the NHS trust that I knew what was to be diagnosed a week before I met with the consultant.

His advice was in these words, “He will need active treatment,” and that meant out of three possible options for treatment, active surveillance, a radical prostatectomy, and radical radiotherapy of the prostate, the first was off the table before I was engaged.

Having opted for radiotherapy and found I did not qualify for brachytherapy because of my high I-PSS score, the external beam presented a more comfortable treatment plan over the uncertainties of surgery and the complications that might result.

A welcome intervention from another angle

That was until I sought support from Prostate Cancer UK and the nurse having been given some indicators from the diagnosis wondered why I was not being considered for active surveillance.

CPG: Cambridge Prognostic Group system; this allows the doctor to assess your cancer risk group and suggest the best treatment track for the cancer. The indices use values and logical operators of AND/OR to provide an assessment.

From the 5 CPG groups, the elements landed in CPG 2 and the Prostate Cancer UK nurse vehemently suggested I ask some questions as to why active surveillance and watchful waiting was not one of the treatment options on the table.

A radiotherapy planning CT (computer tomography) scan is scheduled; I have since called the Christie Macmillan Urology Specialist Nurse service to ask for an appointment to discuss this option in detail.

This is to address all the questions before we start anything and to give me both the understanding and conviction that I am following the course of treatment for the best outcomes.

In researching this blog, I came upon this piece of tabulated information I have from the onset, sought, to help me choose the best treatment in terms of the options, the long-term situation, and the consequences of whatever treatment option you choose.

Choosing the best treatment based on different studies. [Adapted from CRUK (Click to enlarge)]

Men's Things Blogs

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Blog - Men's things - X

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Thursday, 6 June 2024

Thought Picnic: Everybody who hurts can find healing too

R.E.M. - Everybody Hurts (Official HD Music Video)

In strength and weakness

I may have a listening ear, and to some, who are close to me, I have had outbursts. Much as I attempt every means of self-control and restraint, the dam can hold no more water and it bursts. I have to remember sometimes that I do not have the answers, the understanding, the knowledge, or the wisdom for certain situations.

Even where I appear to be wise, it is usually a gift of inspiration that I cherish a lot, how to put things in perspective, cutting out the unnecessary, the sentimental, the subjective, or just the emotional. Clinical is not always what people want to hear, but the truth is a salve better than the succour of false comfort that barely addresses the issue.

We all need somebody

Then, I wonder, what am I doing for myself? How am I healing and getting the rest I need to have the peace and comfort I desire? The quest for happiness caught in snatches of time, impeded sometimes by the insufficiency of means, yet powered by an irrepressible force of faith and hope, watered with love that thrives in all circumstances. In that alone, I feel blessed.

We bear many burdens, to many we have unlimited resources of strength in mind and character, our figurative and proverbial shoulders stretch like a mountain range, grounded in the core of the earth and found in the lofty reaches of the clouds, covered in snow to cool the heat of things upset and upturn lives in unimaginable ways. Life is not a simple story; we just make every moment count.

Everybody cries, everybody hurts, and everybody feels, all in different ways with myriad ways to express themselves in the things that affect them. The silence might be screaming so loud inside. The smiling might be weeping thunderstorms of distress and turmoil that the face hides in a veil of the indecipherable. What I hide under the finery of my appearance and apparel is a world of my own humanity and vulnerability that probably finds words of expression here.

Seeking to live the dreams

Then I want to find my own foxhole to burrow deep into to hide from the world for a while, to slip into a kind of hibernation of absence where the dreams that play are of the beauty of heaven, the joy of living well, of strength, facility, and immeasurable ability with the daring that blows the mind.

That also does not have to be just a dream, for the dream maker seeks to make those dreams come true beyond anything we have ever thought, wanted, sought, desired, seen, heard, or imagined possible.

I have always thought there is a better way, many times I scramble to find the door and fall on the way, but I will never relent in seeking to walk the path that the mighty have walked to tell better stories than those ever told before.

Wednesday, 14 June 2023

Thought Picnic: On the art of asking questions

Asking without relenting

Sometimes, inquisitiveness is the trait people least admire about us, then it might not be the fact that one is inquisitive but that the way we put our questions puts the backs of others up.

Through life we begin to understand that not all questions have answers or have the convincing answers necessary for us to move on to something else. In resignation, one might just leave a question looming in the quest for a better form of words to phrase intent to obtain the desired outcome.

Asking with some talent

The ability to ask questions that produce results is more an art than a science, there is something to do with phrasing and framing, contextualizing and limiting the scope to digress, though in obtaining answers one might be regaled with much more than was asked for, to make the point clearer and better, even if unexpected.

We find that in computing, the ability to get good search results depends on the search phrase, even so with the Artificial Intelligence craze that has occupied us in the last 6 months, that art of questioning is called prompting, we begin to descend into jargon territory just trying to get the best answers to our strangest questions.

Asking without regret

Obviously, there are questions we would rather not hear or have to address, too many of which can be negatively impactful on the participants involved in that inquiry. These are a range of thoughts that crept into my mind, of which the exploration should be one of considered introspection than of public expression.

The question then becomes whether the right question has been asked or the question has been phrased to confirm a bias rather elicit an objective response. On those questions we ponder on the existential and the ephemeral, the eternal and the ethereal, along with every other thing that brings some satisfaction to the quest for knowledge or assurance. The art would never go out of fashion.

Sunday, 24 April 2022

Thought Picnic: Letting blogs flourish in mystery and meaning

Like organic farming

In most cases, my blogs are raw and unpolished, apart from basic spellchecking and some attention to the basic rules of grammar to aid comprehension, I do little else. In fact, I am probably too lazy to even read the blog back to myself to ensure it reads and sounds right, I would think that is to be expected of personal blogs, unadulterated and without synthetic fertilisers.

Then, for those who read my blogs, there is a style and expression that is uniquely mine, you will find obscure and archaic usages and much as you will find unfamiliar words. I could be tempted into sesquipedalianism, but I more frequently resist the urge, though, it could be said the blogs do not cater to the lowest common denominator for readership.

Some air of mystery

I am of the view that the English language is very rich in expression and modality, and I have not mastered the simplicity of writing so fluently to address the broadest crowd that might happen upon my blog. It might be a failing on my part and it is one I am ready to accept as a weakness.

Generally, I hope my blog can retain a kind of mystery to the reader, by that I mean, you read what you see with all the possible interpretations that might arise in your thinking without enquiry as to first my mental state and then my presumed intentions. My blog is more of a journal with a public face, to review my blogs again for a target audience would defeat the journaling and diary aspects of blogging. Should there be a need for unravelling what is written, it might well be written into the blog itself.

Let the wild tree grow

Much as I would hate to be misunderstood, I am not striving to be totally predictable either, the questions anyone might have in their minds and many do not have any other means of contacting me apart from adding comments, certain clarifications can be requested but a full expository would be sating curiosity beyond the mystique of mystery and pondering. Let the blog flourish without the tendency to second-guess the writer.

Even when I do go over old blogs, the only corrections and modifications made are to spelling, grammar and context, rarely and I do not think I have had to rewrite a blog. I have taken down two blogs because they would have created difficulties for the subjects of my writing, beyond that, I follow the advice rather than the threat of the Duke of Wellington, "Publish and be damned."

I guess the question on anyone’s mind would be whether the blog was written for them or written for the writer by the writer themselves. One would think the latter is more plausible, then again, the roots of trees do grow in unpredictable ways and so an audience might think something applies to them, which one would suggest, is quite purely coincidental.

Wednesday, 26 May 2021

The UK: Cummings reveals the goings on

The comings and goings

Much as one cannot place much on the credibility of Dominic Cummings, the erstwhile aide and special adviser to Prime Minister Boris Johnson, his appearance before two committees in the House of Commons, earlier today was almost compelling viewing. [BBC News: Dominic Cummings: Thousands died needlessly after Covid mistakes]

Dominic Cummings had a front-row seat and presumably the ear of the Prime Minister, it was at the behest of the Prime Minister that the Cabinet expended all their goodwill and acquiescence to the first lockdown after Mr Cummings’ unfortunate lockdown-busting trip to Durham and eye testing gallivant to Barnard Castle, last May.

They let death run free

Yet, I was unconcerned about the minutiae of that incident and rather more interested in the workings of the government as the pandemic took hold, the scandals of Personal Protection Equipment (PPE), the seeding of care homes with untested geriatrics released from hospital caring the plague to the most vulnerable, the test and trace debacle, and the hold off the second lockdown, altogether leading to a totally needless, preventable, and the unimaginably high death toll in the UK that still exceeds any other in Europe.

Time and again, Dominic Cummings revealed incompetence, ineptitude, lassitude, inertia, indecision, indifference, apathy, bloody-mindedness, and carelessness in the corridors of power as death, sorrow, loss, grief, tragedy, and unmitigated suffering swept through the land. A full public inquiry cannot come soon enough to question what happened, who was responsible and who should be held accountable.

We are ready for inquiry

Like I have said before, the success of the vaccination rollout cannot compensate for the failings of the past. We need to know what went wrong, what lessons can be learnt, and most pertinently, how never to let this ever happen again.

The analyses of the Dominic Cummings outing are many, I think there would be some really good questions demanding answers rather than rhetoric, obfuscation, and evasion, even so, from the mouth of Boris Johnson who should not be given the latitude to wriggle, bluff, and bluster his way through intense questioning. Let the bells toll, for they have begun to toll for those who history will not judge kindly.

Friday, 9 October 2020

I will be a son but can’t be my dad

A drama in my head

There is an American situation comedy series titled, How I Met Your Mother, I have never watched it nor do I know much about what it is about apart from what the title suggests.

On my walk this morning, a whole series of conversations played out in my mind, possible conversations with my dad that I expected might end badly that I resolved to put it to one side, but what transpired between the dramatis personae in my head was vigorous and vituperative, I was angry, probably too angry.

A question seeking answers

The other conversation was between my mum and me; we have developed a friendlier and communicative rapport, I enjoy it. I was going to introduce a topic with humour and move it on to the fact that I was feeling unnecessarily stressed out by my dad. He is becoming as impossible as he is inconsiderate and obdurate; I don’t use those words lightly and they explain to a larger extent why we have much conflict.

Then a sense of exasperation overcame me, I felt like asking my mum, how did you meet my dad? What was the significant moment that brought you both together as husband and wife? Materially, without the union of these particularly significant people, I would not have existed, someone else would have been born in circumstances and situations quite different from the one I have inhabited.

A son a bit different

It is almost like the bane of life, a fate over which there is no autonomy or agency, we happen upon a state and wish upon a star, each second, minute, hour, day, week, month, year becomes a story writing itself as each moment passes. You then find that of the things you can neither change nor alter, you make peace, make do and make the best of it towards telling a better story.

Where I might have found my dad to be a reasonable listening person, I find I have not been persuaded of the reality of that thought. It saddens me, but I will not agonise, I find that it is our attitude and our forbearance that gives us the means to deal with many things, especially the difficult. I will be a son but can’t be my dad.

Monday, 3 June 2019

Thought Picnic: Levitating on the confusion some have about me


This is who I am
On the public pages of my Facebook profile, I wrestle with the urge for an outburst whilst exercising considerable restraint. To be honest, I don’t do much on Facebook, the greater traffic of material comes from Instagram.
I take pictures and write long captions to them and post on Instagram, with the option for the same posting to go to Twitter and Facebook. Before Facebook severed the automatic posting facility from Twitter, the bulk of traffic to Facebook came from Twitter.
Other activities on Facebook involves posting reactions to comments, I find I can get involved in several discussions, debates or disputes, it is all good for engagement.
I am not taking that
However, the issues on Facebook are some questions that get posted to inputs from Instagram. I was kissing my boyfriend and someone I hadn’t had any interactive contact with for over 3 decades came round with the question – What am I seeing? I didn’t bother answering the person, I deleted the question and eventually removed him as a friend.
Nothing is as annoying as people who have lived abroad for decades but have not escaped the myopic frame of reference that limited their vision of a diverse humanity since they were in Nigeria. It is no secret lest there be the surfeit of assumption, my normality is different and probably does not fit in the concept of the normality of others. I am different, not abnormal. Difference is a function of diversity, not one of abnormality.
I owe no explanation
There are realities about myself that I know, and I do not need to explain to others, just as I do not intrude in the affairs of the busybodies who cannot hold their counsel. All the conclusions you probably want to draw have been drawn, I am not conventionally married, I have no children in or out of wedlock and fundamentally, I have never been attracted to the opposite sex.
It is something not understood in some societies, yet it is fully understood in others from a scientific, medical, logical, psychological and physiological perspective that we not only have the abrogation of Victorian-era laws but the promulgation and enforcement of laws and rights for protection and acceptance of the somewhat minorities who need not fear to be themselves and in that thrive as worthy and celebrated members of their communities, little and large.
My life is not a lifestyle
Then let’s disabuse ourselves of that misconception, lifestyles are about choices you can make when there are options available to you. Sometimes, a lifestyle is an adoption of a persona, a façade, a veneer behind which you hide, hoping no one would find out who you are. A lifestyle is usually looking for a sort of conformity, a pretension to normality you do not have, and you are constantly looking for a mask when you’re not looking in the mirror.
Living your own life is a long way from living a lifestyle, it is the point where you have become true to yourself regardless of what others think. It is where your individuality is expressed, and uniqueness is what you choose to be. It is where your heart beats, your soul rests, your mind sings, and your happiness begins to glow. Life is where you are becoming the best of who you are not caring about pleasing anyone, but if anyone is pleased, it is a bonus.
Life is where you have accepted who you are and know you do not need a cure for who you are. It is also where you can travel with those who accept you and jettison those reject you. It is where you soar like an eagle and find the champion in life that you are. I would marry who I choose to love and marry, and we would together decide what we want to make of our own family. Those choices would not be made for me by anyone else other than with whom I have chosen to live my life.
Related blogs


Saturday, 27 September 2014

Thought Picnic: The missing black guy from Old Trafford is not me

Out in a cab
This afternoon, I went to visit a friend in the Manchester suburb of Urmston and since I was not very aware of where to go, I decided to take a taxi for the just about 7 mile journey.
Annoyingly, the cab driver being aware that it was a Manchester United match day at Old Trafford, he took no diversions and simply drove into the traffic, that added about 15 more minutes to the trip. The whole reason for calling a cab is for these drivers to use their knowledge to get you to your destination in the shortest possible time.
If for any reason the shortest route would present problems, it is only right to intimate their customer with the possible alternatives. I was quite piqued when I asked why he decided to drive into the traffic when he had other alternatives – that was his tip gone.
Walking for health
After leaving my friend’s place, I decided it was a good opportunity to walk back home, the estimated distance being just about 6.8 miles. However, I also decided to take a detour to the Trafford Centre, an out-of-town shopping precinct with a misplaced SeaWorld centre within the shopping mall.
Whilst, I am not averse to visiting zoos, to site an artificial sea environment well away from the sea to house exotic creatures is just beyond the pale and despite my fascination about sea life, I would not give custom to such places. I probably should extend that sentiment to zoos too.
At the same time, I expected to find a honey drizzler in one of the shops, considering I had been into so many shops in Manchester looking for the thing which I eventually found in a Marks and Spencer shop.
We are not the same
Then I continued my walk back home, the detour having added another mile to my journey, I began in earnest.
Just about a mile before Old Trafford, a police car drove by and stopped me for what turned out to be a missing person’s questioning. Apparently, a 24-year old had gone to the Manchester United match that afternoon and was now missing.
Whether by coincidence or crass myopia of some Caucasians who think all black people look the same, I give the policeman some benefit of the doubt. He asked for some identification which I did not have before asking for my name, date of birth and address even though it was obvious I was not the person they were looking for.
I am walking home for exercise, I was not at the Manchester United match, I do not own a club scarf and it is not in my bag, I was not on the grounds – those were some of the answers I had to give, as he needed more to convince him that he should be looking for someone else.
I made the point of recording the car registration number of the policeman and tweeting it with the location information as part of the tweet.
The aspect of identification is interesting because when I lived in the Netherlands there was a requirement to carry some identification with you and if you could not produce it when asked by the police, you were liable to a fine. Thankfully, we have not reached the stage of needing that in the UK.
The new missing is black
Probably another mile down the road as I passed by the Lancashire County Cricket Ground, also known as Old Trafford, a name shared with the Manchester United Football Club Stadium, though they are almost a mile apart, a lady drove into my pathway and immediately asked for my name. I cottoned on the fact that it was related to the missing person and remonstrated about being accosted twice in less than 30 minutes.
She gave a compliment to assuage my discomfiture by suggesting I do not by any stretch of the imagination look my age, but that did not lessen the annoyance that welled up in me. I was at the point where I was going to abandon my walk if anyone drove a third time to check if I was missing.
Maybe, just maybe
I cannot stop being black, it is who I am, but one wonders how much information they had to go on and if it was a distinguishing as to have drawn me into the purvey of being a person of interest. Was he bald too, wearing glasses, and did he had blue trainers on too? You can only wonder.
Yet, one must consider, if a 24-year old black guy in track apparel was declared missing in the space of 2 hours after a match, one can only assume the said person is not of an adult mental age. That is appeared to coincide with when I decide to walk in the Old Trafford area is both uncanny and somewhat unfortunate. C’est la vie.
I eventually got home having walked almost 17,000 steps and 11.61 kilometres. I wonder if I should choose where I walk carefully next time.

Sunday, 9 February 2014

Nigeria: More Questions For Tobore Mit Ovuorie - The Human Trafficking Undercover Journalist

I have many easy questions
This would be the fourth blog I am writing about Tobore Mit Ovuorie’s expose on Human Trafficking published simultaneously on Premium Times in Nigeria and ZAM Chronicle in the Netherlands.
I am writing again because the more that Premium Times has put out in attack, defence and evidence seems to raise more questions that needs the person of Tobore Mit Ovuorie to answer, clearly and unequivocally.
One is now of the opinion that the human trafficking probably passes the plausibility test, in that everything she wrote about does happen in the human trafficking world, but it has consistently failed to pass the muster of a credibility test for the reporter and all her handlers.
Please answer correctly
Below, I have a list of questions, I would want Tobore Mit Ovuorie to address with a greater attention to journalistic rigour, truth, facts and honesty.
Scenario: Tobore Ovuorie's friend died in 1999 after being a victim of human trafficking to Europe. Tobore who is 33 now, was 18 then.
Question: How old was her friend when she was trafficked and in what year?
Question: For how long was her friend in Europe before she returned to Nigeria with the AIDS defining illness of Karposi Sarcoma?
Scenario: The average time from HIV to full-blown AIDS without any ARV medication is around 4 to 10 years.
Question: When did her friend discover she had HIV and consequently AIDS? If anonymity is waived, what was her name and who else knew of this story of her trafficking all through to her death?
Scenario: Besides the general criminal activity to do with human trafficking, Tobore witnessed two murders.
Question: Why is she not leading the police to where she attended the Abuja party which she left feeling very ill that she had to attend hospital?
Question: Why is she not taking the police to all the other significant places she mentioned in her report?
Scenario: Oghogho had a number luxurious cars and houses she had built or was building in her home town.
Question: Did Tobore forget to note the car numbers as an investigative journalist?
Question: Where is Oghogho’s home town amongst others she must have had conversations with who had progressed up the human trafficking chain?
Question: In all the places Tobore was taken to, was she blindfolded?
Scenario: Tobore attended a NAPTIP Human Trafficking conference after her ordeal. She supposedly submitted her report to Premium Times before the conference.
Question: Did she share her experiences at the conference?
Question: If not, why is her report similar to stories shared at the conference?
Question: If Tobore was so driven by her friend's experience 14 years before, where else did she share this compelling issue before she was commissioned for this human trafficking expose?
Question: How did Tobore get to be selected for this mission?
Scenario: The risk analysis was atrocious, she really could have lost her life.
Question: So, after that heinous ordeal and Tobore's rescue in the Republic of Benin, she was able to recover so completely from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder under casual medical observation in less than a month to attend a conference reliving the details of her experience?
Question: What has happened to Reece Adanwenon's Facebook page with which Tobore communicated with ZAM Chronicles?
Question: Why did Tobore not use her Facebook page instead or had she forgotten her password by the time she arrived in the Republic of Benin?
Scenario: Reece Adanwenon who was supposed to facilitate the rescue of Tobore in the Republic of Benin had never met Tobore, yet Tobore was able to recognise her from what she could recollect from Reece's Facebook profile.
Scenario: However, when Reece's Facebook profile was communicating with ZAM Chronicle, there was no picture of Reece on the profile.
Question: What happened?
Scenario: Tobore's head was shaved by the ritualists in November, just days before she escaped in Benin Republic.
Question: Where are the pictures of the condition she was in when she was rescued?
Question: Where are pictures of her at the NAPTIP conference since she appears to like hobnobbing with important people?
Question: Did she use a wig during the time it took for her hair to grow back?
Scenario: Surely, after suffering such a humiliation she as an investigative reporter cannot have lost the significance of taking pictures of her recovery.
Question: Why after her rescue with reference to the text messages she constantly exchanged with Premium Times personnel did she wait weeks to inform them she was safe when it appears she was ready to immediately contact ZAM Chronicle in Amsterdam?
Amateurish recklessness
The lax modus operandi put in for this Human Trafficking expose beggars belief. If the text messages she was sending were discovered by the traffickers, there was enough for a death sentence in her communications.
They used no code words, no call signs, the power distance index was very prominent that it was clear she was reporting back to someone and her boss was giving instructions. This escapade was so amateurish to be in any way believable.
With ZAM Chronicle involved, you wonder what they really know of undercover work especially in cases where a life or many lives could have been at great risk.
Too convenient and sadly expedient
Finally, it is all too convenient that critical evidence that could give the real truth to this story was lost, like why she had not immediately transmitted pictures, conversations and much else for most of the time she had her mobile phone. At worst, there should have been an electronic dead drop to collect all this data for the use of the expose.
In the end, we only have Tobore’s word and the threatened reputations of Premium Times and ZAM Chronicle through obfuscation, bluster, bullying and ad hominem attacks to go by, the rest in text messages and Facebook posts is hardly independently verifiable. It is a crying shame.
You cannot trust this
If Tobore was exposed to such evil and unconscionable human traffickers with connections to people in high places in Nigeria and abroad, she and her handlers must be recklessly bold, careless, and utterly irresponsible to reveal her identity where she must daily be at risk of being apprehended and assassinated.
I am sorry, it is time for Premium Times to cut loose of this travesty or both it and its reputation would sink with it, considering the reporter they are supporting has hardly been with the outfit for 6 months, the level of naïveté demonstrated by the seasoned journalists at Premium Times is befuddling to the point of bafflement.