And so he blogs daily

Without much conniption

It can be so easy to rest on one’s laurels, then, maybe having a rest to reassess what new laurels to pursue is a good thing too. However, it was gratifying this weekend to read an interaction with a published author and a great social media following that my blogging had inspired him to blog daily.

What a lament that caused me, even as I appreciated that the little I do inspires others. Writing daily can be a goal, and it is not the absence of things to write about that is the problem. When it comes to blogs, there is enough muscle memory to start and go without the encumbrance of writer’s block; the problem is more one of lethargy.

Creativity is sacrosanct

Beyond lethargy, you wonder if it is worthwhile just banging out anything. The advent of Generative AI provides such an opportunity to manufacture offal without attendant rumination or thought, but God forfend I resign my creativity to the cutting floor of prompt engineering. I have other uses of Generative AI; it won’t be for my blogs.

One key detail in my interlocutor’s comment was that he wrote a blog daily, regardless of the length of the blog. I know a few people who if they stop overthinking their copy and simply proofread the blogs in draft, they might rise to publishing at least once a month rather than every five or so months. I’ll be circumspect and not mention names.

It speaks for itself

I do wish I could blog daily, and I have done before. What saddens me is the many who blogged over a decade ago that have abandoned this theatre of sharing ideas for all sorts of reasons. The Internet rarely forgets as you stumble over crumbling tombstones of their once commendable activities.

The way social media works, you are either doing it because you enjoy it for your own leisure, or you are farming engagement to eventually gain some pecuniary benefit. I enjoy this stuff, and what would not happen is an upstart magazine inviting me to write for them and then sending me a style guide to conform to their way of thinking. I try not to take it as an insult.

I do it my way

On my blog, I have my own space, set my own rules, and after sampling a few of my blogs in all that time, it is impossible to gauge how I write, it is unlikely you will like my style, and we shouldn't waste each other’s time. Thank you.

Then one final note of gratitude to my readers and those that have been inspired in a small or large way by what I do.

Clippings of the thought and drippings of the thoughtless

The matchup of views

There are two versions of my blog, one which I wrote expressing some feelings that I would not be able to describe after some attempts at doing so, and then I decided to pass the text through an LLM grammar checker with a preference for English and when unqualified, I mean what we speak in Great Britain as opposed to that spoken across the pond.

The tone I went for was emotional rather than casual, formal, laconic, or something else I cannot remember. At Brian’s inadvertent prompting, I won’t even tell which version was the original and the edited and none of the customary delineation of paragraphs and sections, the title of the blog however is original. We can’t give everything to AI when we can allow some human intervention.

To make it even more atrocious but not as bad I had some machinations that crossed my mind as I typed this, I won’t set out where one begins and the other ends, the evil thought was to intersperse the paragraphs. As Brian is wont to say. “I’m not that bad.” My response? That’s between us.

With many thoughts coursing through my mind, I found myself reflecting on a difficult telephone conversation that had left me feeling unsettled. Though I endeavoured to remain calm as I respectfully explained my perspective on the importance of patient-centred care, I sensed tensions rising.

In my attempt to process the interaction, I began writing but soon realized my thoughts lacked focus. While I had intended to respectfully express concerns around communication and coordination of my treatment, my emotions had made it difficult to do so constructively.

Over subsequent days, further challenges with the navigation of my care only added to my feelings of frustration. Multiple attempts at documenting my experience proved futile as overwhelm took hold.

However, with time and distance, clarity emerged. In reframing my goal as open dialogue rather than accusation, I was able to convey my perspective and needs in a balanced manner. Though the road to resolution remains long, small steps toward understanding are progress indeed.

With many thoughts coursing through my mind, I had begun to type away, the discombobulated scratches of the upset that resulted from a telephone conversation that soon lost cordiality for tempers rising.

Surprisingly, I held it together as I lectured my interlocutor on the primacy of the patient in the decision tree of treatment options. I was pulling no punches because taken together, one had become a bystander where full disclosure and engagement should have been the rule.

Six good paragraphs in, I was exhausted, that I put it away thinking I might find the wherewithal to complete it, but it was flailing without direction, and I doubted my ability to rescue it.

Half a day later, another phone call was ping-pong between oncology and urology, with little consideration given to the fact that regardless of department responsibility, I was at the receiving end of their inability to coordinate and the poor management of my case.

I started another write-up and before I could complete the first sentence, I had lost interest and inspiration, it was compounded exasperation seeking the travails of frustration that I have tried hard to avoid with sanguinity.

A day, another, and another before I settled at the keyboard for a third attempt taking a totally different slant from the first two attempts.

It turned out a lot better and much shorter than I expected. I guess some events can snatch away the will to see some things to the desired conclusion.

May I suggest blogging is easy?

Words always flow

A thought springs to mind, you reach for your laptop and flip open the lid with the confidence and purpose to write something. In the process you get distracted, a YouTube notification on your mobile phone and you are watching a performance that brings tears to your eyes.

You were thinking of writing a blog that you never even had any concept of how it would turn out and now, the trick you used to play of just typing and hoping the words come as you type is not working.

Bludgeon the block

Something suggests you have Writer’s Block, but chance would be a fine thing, because a block is more topical than incidental. I aver that it is when you have an intention that you suddenly cannot act on, that is a block.

In other cases, practise with thought processes allows you to write something, the quality of which might be questionable, and yet its beauty of expression is interesting as craftsmanship speaks for itself to the admirer and the critic alike.

Then if one were to close a blog as one were having a conversation following the basics of what a personal blog entails of how you feel, what you see, and how you are affected, you already have enough paragraphs for another blog. Then conclude with a full stop.

Gosh! I'm giving writing advice

Maybe I can write

I inadvertently found myself giving some advice on writing the other day on my way to the hospital. I get commended more for my ability to write even if I rarely appreciate the talent I am supposed to have in expressing myself in words.

Then, after over 20 years of blogging, I might have earned a basic status from the act of practice, called experience that may help others along the way. I know there is no formula to it, but we tend to stress ourselves so much that we are left incapable of doing what we hope to do.

How I tend to write

Putting my views into basic tips, it can all boil down to the following:

• Writer's block happens to everyone, you're overthinking the piece like counting your chicks before they are hatched, and that’s why it seems quite hard to start.
• Discipline yourself to just start writing and the rest would flow. You can review it later to make the adjustments, clarifications, and editing later. And much later after it has been published.
• I have rarely written a blog the way I originally imagined it would turn out. In most cases, I have just a word or a phrase, I develop it like a seed and water it with words that follow.
• Trust the process, trust your skill, start the journey and follow the route wherever it takes you to any amazing destination you get to.
• You can abandon something for a while until the framework or ideas reform into something you can use. Do not beat yourself up for that.
• Only what you publish gets read, what is left in draft form is like opening a restaurant but serving no customers.

This may only work for some; you eventually emerge with your own way and style of writing that you begin to type, and your new tapestry of ideas begins to unfold. However, what you must never do is stymie or kill the urge to write. Your story matters, you never know who will benefit from your experience.

Reflections on a blog since August

Reflections on a blog since August

Indeed, he’s a work in progress,
From which none will digress,
Even though it’s a long recess,
From that last state of process.

For he was called to write a blog,
Not one that you could really flog,
But he has made quite a slog,
That there’s nothing left to plug.

He remains that amazing muse,
With thoughts, I cannot refuse,
When he attempts another ruse,
He finishes with a good excuse.

How we long for those goods,
That puts us in the right moods,
He forgets how it serves foods,
To all the girls and the dudes.

My dialogue as blogs

A slog of blogs

I never planned it this way, I was surprised that I was able to tap out more blogs than there were days in March even though I did not blog for every day in that month. In April, I found that for the first time since I started blogging, I blogged for every day in that calendar month, I just pressed on through ease and pain, the surfeit and the dearth of ideas of what to write about, then smashing through Writer’s Block to pen inanities.

Blog - A calendar month of blogs

In May, I repeated the April feat and in June, it was at least a blog a day for one hundred days. Imagine, the blog I am writing today gives me three straight months of blogging every day.

Blog - Cent jours de blogs

The log in blogs

You then wonder whether this self-congratulatory tripe is worth writing a blog about. I never said you will get to read fantastic material on this blog. It probably tends more to the trivial than the crucial. Maybe I am just celebrating a determined effort of discipline, proving to myself that it is possible to blog daily and I may just relent and relapse to the lazier type.

There is no saying what might happen, I would take a month at a time, or ambitiously, a day at a time, keeping doing it for as long as I can find myself able, inspired and determined to do it. The blogs might get serious or be a commendation of extant idiocy. It won’t be for the want of trying.

To flog some blogs

As we come to the end of the first half of 2020, I am not of the mind that the Coronavirus pandemic has ruined the year. Some plans have been postponed, we are sat at home working, living and for me, in retreat, making the best of things. This year is one of reset, we will rethink, redo, re-evaluate, relive, re-assess, and realise that there are opportunities ahead of us, to seize.

It would probably mean amazing inspiration for blogs, things I never thought possible becoming commonplace, dreams becoming moments to cherish for which incomparable words would materialise with descriptive abandon, and if we cannot live for the miracles of the joy of living, we can with faith find the substance for our hopes and share it in the bosom of love from the deepest part of our hearts to one first and then to others. Nothing is lost, rather beyond this is great gain and beauty unmatched.

Thought Picnic: The flashes of creativity that die

Drawing from wells of nourishment

Creativity is like a flash of light, it might be a well sunk deep somewhere where the water your draw from it only comes in buckets that you sling down easily but draw up with much exertion and perspiration. At least I know that is it is not a running supply that delivers water to your sink as you turn the faucet on demand.

Yet, once you start to create, there is a zone of flow that appears to suggest you are connected to an inexhaustible pool of resources of deployment and expression, and that you must always be thankful for.

It died completely

Just under three weeks ago, I was writing a piece that was an appeal to the goodness and professionalism of someone else on behalf of my sister. I had completed the write-up and was just proofreading it when my computer died on me. I mean, died completely.

Now, for a while, I never thought of using a tablet device my main computing device, I had preferred lightweight laptops until at the end of November 2016, I went on holiday trialling a Galaxy Tab Pro S tablet device running Microsoft Windows 10.

As an entry-level low specification device with just 4GB of RAM and a 128GB Solid State Drive (SSD), I did not expect much from it that I had my laptop as a backup device, but I grew to love the tablet that it eventually became my main computing device as I eventually left the laptop untouched for months.

The voice that spoke in vain

On my last trip to Edinburgh, I had a deep premonition that I ignored, it suggested I take my laptop with me, but that required rebuilding the laptop and working on a few other things; that little voice does matter.

I had not saved the piece I wrote when my Samsung tablet died and could not be revived again. Taking it to the Samsung shop in Edinburgh, I was told it had to go for service and repairs, an arrangement I could complete in the shop and then have the courier come over to my Edinburgh office to pick it up.

For days, I monitored the service records that indicated the device was being repaired, then they were waiting for parts for another week.

The stand-in did not stand out  

Meanwhile, on the matter of creativity, it all seemed to dry up, the replacement, Samsung Tab A (2016, 7.0, Wi-Fi) was the least expensive stop-gap device I acquired in the Samsung shop because I needed to retain online communications. It fell short on one of the critical elements of transcribing the blogs that I usually write and format in Microsoft Word before pasting in the Google Blogger editor, but now on an Android device. The formatting did not keep and that was just not acceptable to me.

Recalling what I had written before I lost it was not easy. Whilst I could remember the context and the ideas, the first run that looked like it nailed all the points I wanted to express was not going to be like my second attempt, which I eventually published using my computer at work.

I pined and pained

The loss of my primary device, however, left me bereft of inspiration and without the ease of communication I was already accustomed to, I became a recluse of the mind, all dried up with a famine of ideas even if there was much to write about and there was.

On my last day at work in Edinburgh, there was much to close out, documentation, demonstrations and discussions, even that suffered from my inability to produce and excel. It bothered me so much that I had to step away from my desk a few times, in the hope that the changes in environment and engagement in other activity might trigger something.

The surprise that arrived

I arrived early and I was the last to leave because of this and then just after 2:00 PM, a phone call from the mail room informed me that I had a parcel waiting for collection. My Samsung device had returned even though I put on notice that I be informed before it was sent back, just in case I had left Edinburgh by then.

The motherboard and power port was changed per the information in the parcel, I cannot explain why the motherboard would just die like that, but I am pleased that the device was under warranty for the repairs not to cost anything, or at least the cost to me seemed invisible, apart from having to acquire a temporary device and then being unable to blog with a sense of flow.

To create again

I still struggle to get back into the rhythm of blogging and I know I would get back there because of all creative endeavours, that is the one I seem to be getting good at after 13 years of doing it.

Creativity is like a flash of light, if your eyes are closed you might not see it, if they are open and you are looking directly into the source of light, it might be blinding, else, it momentarily illuminates your surroundings and in that instance, if you can see, observe and perceive, you get a good idea of where you are and where to go from there.

Celebrating 12 Years of Blogging

My story’s in my blogs

Twelve years ago, I was in a hotel in Berlin when I wrote my first blog as I began blogging just to express all sorts of opinions about topics that I found interesting, engaging or needing a perspective completely different from the mainstream.

Over time, I began to tell stories, mostly personal or relatable stories, I do not think I am good at writing fiction and I have rarely dabbled in that genre.

Whilst I am not as prolific as I would have wanted to be and in many ways I have been lazy at writing or even suffered writer’s block, what my blogs have become are tales of experience and life where sometimes something so ordinary and seemingly inconsequential can gain significance just because it becomes part of a story.

Maybe we can celebrate

I have found that blogs that tell personal stories have the most resonance and whilst I have watched bloggers come and go, and there have been many, I still believe everyone has a story to tell, in their own voice, in their own words to enrich our humanity.

I had hoped to celebrate this landmark anniversary leading on to my 50^th birthday in less than two weeks with getting people to contribute to my blog as I as did with the Decade Blogs of two years ago, but have been away from home and been quite preoccupied to many other things to give it much attention, it might yet happen.

However, I do ask, if you do blog and do read my blogs, please write a story, one of life and experience in commemoration of blogging and having a voice speaking loud and clear about the joy of living, the pursuit of happiness and the zest for life, because despite many other blogs I have written, I think those three themes do light up my blog.

Thank you

Thank you to everyone who have supported me through reading, commenting, added expression, given inspiration or just browsed on their way to something more engaging. I hope to do better at this thing called blogging, thank you for 12 years of stories.

My blog masthead remains the purpose of this blog, “Essential similar to what is known, compatible to what is expected and related to the unexpected …” It is a redefinition of my name ‘Akin’ and how my stories begin.

Thought Picnic: I write to please myself

“Write for the most intelligent, wittiest, wisest audience in the universe: write to please yourself.” Harlan Ellison.

And I have tried

I have probably failed at the first three hurdles, but always striven to do the fourth. That I know because I write mostly in my own space, where I have control and where no one can dictate, amend or edit what I have written.

My blog is my own refuge, the castle of my expressed mind in writing, crenelated with moats and drawbridges that makes reading but commentary difficult.

Commentary is difficult not because people cannot comment, but I am quite exactly about the quality, tone and context of comments left on my blog. I want to be engaged and engaged in a way that we might agree or disagree without descending to the point of being disagreeable.

I learnt to do this

I write to please myself because I am under no deadline to deliver nor am I under obligation to submit work for any remuneration. The views and opinions are mine and mine alone, sometimes borne of introspection or derived from things that have inspired me.

I learnt to love writing much later in my life, I never liked writing in primary school and I only entered one writing competition in secondary school where I claimed second prize. I helped co-found a press club but soon got bored with the idea and moved on to other things.

Looking at this blog in its twelfth year, it is probably the only thing I have consistently done for this length of time apart from breathing, sleeping and living. I sometimes feel I have left it like a plant, a weed to grow wild, an empty house at risk of going derelict and sense of unhappiness appears at time when I note I have not fed the blog with new material.

Writer’s block

It is not like there is nothing to write about, the mind is always in churn, the ideas are always in thought, it is just the drive and the inspiration that put words in an order to make a worthwhile blog that appears to desert me for hours, sometimes for days and it has happened for weeks too.

For weeks, it is usually the case of my having conceived something but decided the time is not yet ripe for the piece to be written. I have had that occasion where waiting for some time allows for another event or idea to overtake things and a better blog ensues. Yet, after over 2,500 blogs I find it strange that none are left unfinished in draft, ready to be revisited – I seem to write for the moment rather than for the future.

Writing for my pleasure

I love this stuff and I am still trying to master it, if it is ever intelligent, that will have been a great attempt on my part, if it is witty, I might have excelled myself, if it is wise, I will wonder what has overcome me, but for my pleasure, I am always myself.

Daring as much as I can dare and concealing enough to maintain a sense of mystery even with my predictability, I hope I can still spring a surprise and that is how this blog began, seeded by the quote at the beginning and finding pleasure in writing this with a smile.

Thought Picnic: The travails of story

Stories struggling

It is strange that the constant urge to write is sometimes overcome but nondescript distractions that end with a day not clearly defined by any worthy activity of note.

In the process you upbraid yourself having silently resolved at some date in the past to apply yourself diligently and with discipline to that activity.

Over time, a number of stories un-birthed settle into a period of painful introspective gestation having no term from which to have a determinate trimester.

Opportunity in distress

Yet, sometimes event and opportunity coincide to give the story a life never expected, but surer than when it was first conceived.

I have one such story I have wanted to write for three weeks, a number of events of international significance and particular to two personalities came to light and I prevaricated until a few days ago. When a social event I had planned was shifted to another day, giving me the chance to tie a number of tales together, but I gave up that chance.

The interesting thing is I already have a good idea of what I need to do, but I cannot write until something in the celestial orbits of my mind aligns. Then the inspiration flows to produce something better than I ever intended.

That is the power of story.

Need to finish this Masters course

The course itself

Having completed the core part of my academic studies for a Master of Science in Information Technology, I have found that I have somewhat ground to a halt in terms of commencing and completing my thesis.

So far, the coursework covered Computer Structures, Project Management for IT, E-Commerce, Security Engineering, Computer Communications, Advanced Topics in IT (Human Interfaces, Distance Learning, Agents & Wireless Computing), Computer Forensics and Object Oriented Java Programming.

Privacy, Security and Trust

Throughout the course, I have been quite sensitive to the issues of security and privacy, one area I felt I could work in was an aspect of developing algorithms for creating and determining levels of trust beyond just challenge/response authentication.

For instance, we know the standard answers to questions like address, date of birth or mother's maiden name. All this kind of information can easily be taken from your rubbish bins especially if you do not shred all traceable material that you throw away.

Shred it all

I always shred every addressed paper before recycling, windowed envelopes in the Netherlands have postcode franking pertaining to a particular address, our entrance bells would usually have our names then link that to the fact that it is business envelope a particular company.

You can begin to build a profile, or at least, you have given the miscreant a head start of sorts.

However, if the questions change to knowledge-based information like what buses go past your house? If you have lived somewhere for 5 years, you can hardly be oblivious of that. Probably, your age you next 2 birthdays or colour of your front door - use the responses, response times and correctness to establish a threshold of acceptable trustworthiness proving you are communicating with the said person.

What to do?

All sorts of ideas running around in my head but I have hit the proverbial writer's block, I do not think I would be able to develop enough material in this area for an M.Sc., it appears the ideas and material are more suited for an M.A. or M.Phil - this because I need to develop test scenarios for the theories I propound.

Being a freelance consultant, it I difficult to latch onto some project where I work and adapt it for the purposes of a Masters programme, in fact, since there is no sponsorship the free agency can have you a bit listless.

I suppose another concern is simply that my coursework puts me in line for a distinction; I must get an A in the thesis to confirm that - the times that drive us at time can be so silly.

Like some friends would say, get on with it, I suppose it is now time to finish this thing and move on to the next project.

The first word was the slowest in coming

Back to school and tardy

After a long break, I am back on the academic trail to finish my last 2 modules and start on my MSc Dissertation.

Each module lasts 8 weeks that could be utter bliss or a complete ordeal and many things factor in between. You need 8 modules for the complete Masters in IT course.

Each week consists of a seminar, which includes a lecture a number of discussion question, probable assignments and project work for individuals or groups.

The seminar week runs from Thursday till Wednesday with the requirement that students must attend by effective contribution in at least 4 days.

So, work begins on the discussion question with ideas buzzing around in my head to distraction, I probably have written a whole conference in my head by Saturday morning but nothing committed to paper.

My head on a block

Writer’s block, they call it, more like an insurmountable mountain as I am drained of all energy to do other things and the clock begins to tick towards the deadline of midnight Sunday to get the discussion question contributions out and start commenting on the views of colleagues.

You might wonder how a person who seems to blog a lot can come to crossroads on writing decisions, well, it is probably like a hangover, until you’ve tried Hair of the Dog you might be nowhere near losing the headache.

From experience, I now find that I probably need 4 hours to knock-out decent copy and whilst the suggested time of study is considered somewhere between 15 to 20 hours a week, 30 of my waking hours are out there trying to be coherent and working to remain relevant.

Miss Marple’s assistant

The fun of study comes from the excitement of learning new things and ideas that one would not normally attend to in everyday life.

Currently, as we start with Computer Forensics, I feel I have just got a bit part in Miss Marple bites into an apple (computer) and she is investigating how the worm got in there.

Cite all sites

I was driven to complete distraction as I struggled to come to terms with the new citation guidelines that have become a nightmare that I acquired a tool – EndNote to handle all that stuff.

I am amazed that a tool that popular is so counter-intuitive and stodgy, most especially when in this day and age referencing from the web accounts for more citations than conventional books.

After a good 2 days of mucking around with the tool, it all began to make some sense, but a bit more practice is required before good value and consistent styles can results.

I fired a missive of 5 long questions to our librarian to help – methinks, the change would have less people citing references if so much time is spent trying to get it up to the demands and standards of the authorities.

Associating Computers with Manual work

More so, I am amazed that the Association of Computing Machinery that has a digital library to rival any large archive still requires that interfacing with contemporary bibliographical tools be a cut-and-paste activity – I am disappointed.

A hundred years of computing history and the largest archive still follows the bookshelf metaphor of a conventional library – something is definitely wrong if computing people cannot for themselves create a labour saving activity for their own use.

Methinks, I have a project to hand, however, I need a programmer’s brain for a radical lobotomy.

Study a-plenty means blogs a-few.