Beaus Residing in Accommodating Nirvana - VI

Meeting for Cape Town

The anticipation and excitement made the countdown easier to manage, March was soon over and April was eating up days like Pac-Man, then I was on a flight to Johannesburg with the destination to Cape Town after a stop-over. His flight from Bulawayo arrived in Johannesburg earlier than mine, which was overnight from Paris, I was quickly through immigration control well before him and waited to collect him for our separate check-in to Cape Town.

We had our shoes polished and cooled off in the lounge for a few hours before our flight. I guess he noticed the reaction of fellow passengers when we arrived in Cape Town and as you collected our luggage, we stole a kiss. By the time we arrived at our hotel, I had been travelling for almost 28 hours and it was well worth it.

Falling deeper in love

Until this holiday, I had visited Cape Town three times before, but never spent more than 3 nights maximum. This time, we had 12 days to play with before returning to Johannesburg for 5 days. It was important that this holiday was one I did not take over and control even if it was his first visit to Cape Town which in a way was a cultural shock for him, with people thinking he was from the Cape, a native Afrikaans speaker, my passing Dutch gave me an ear for Afrikaans.

The usual touristy things we did; Robben Island, Table Mountain, Cape Point, and the Cape Winelands, but on Easter Sunday, he had agreed to attend church with me, both of us wearing the same jacket design. It was the first time I had attended church with a partner, it was a welcoming and meaningful setting for both of us.

I believe that it was in this time that we knew we had something going strong, I could see this man in my life and every consideration that if the question came, I would say, Yes!

We’ll make a home here

Making the best of the time we spent together in Cape Town and then in Johannesburg, we planned on having summer in the UK, which unfortunately did not happen out of the hostile immigration policies we were up against. During that time, we sadly did not get to spend his birthday together. We returned to Cape Town for a month in September and then another month in December which included my birthday, Christmas, the anniversary of our meeting and the New Year.

We love Cape Town, it harbours many memories of our budding love, we also changed our domestic arrangements from hotel rooms to fully furnished self-service apartments, giving us the opportunity to live together like a couple. At least, within the constraints we had, we could do more of what partners do, cooking and basic chores. We know we are going to get married, there was a time I even thought it might have happened over the Easter just past, but for the pandemic.

I don’t know if it is easy to write a love story, but I know what is in my head, in my mind, and in my heart, I am in love with the most beautiful person in the world and I am the luckiest guy to have found this amazing person.

Beautiful Romantic Intimacy Attractive Nascent - V

A love nest in Jo’burg

The opportunity to meet in February was one I could not pass up. I arrived a day earlier than him and was at the airport to pick him up the next day with a sign, ‘Brian with an I’. It is likely our hearts were pounding unsure of what to expect of each other. Our only other meeting was at the bar and then for lunch. We had a lot of learning to do about each other.

This was a holiday of moments and experiences, fully laden with activity, mainly touristic. Then dinner at night. It afforded many ways of getting to know who we were, the pictures we took together began to look like this couple were made for each other. How that South Africa constitutionally recognises same-sex relationships meant we had liberties to be expressive and we used every opportunity to revel in it.

Much more than it seemed

It is likely that the 10 nights went so fast, but I never cancelled the plans for Easter, we had that pencilled in and an agenda that was filling up that little did I know that some of the arrangements he had in visiting Johannesburg at my behest were in fact, first-time experiences.

I commandeered the moments and activities, yet found in both the company and the companionship, someone I could converse with and relate to. We were becoming friends and lovers at the same time. Maybe I was thinking ahead of myself, but I felt there was a lot going on between him and me, not just platonic but quite involved. We were not going to make an apology for having become lovers.

It was 46 days to our next meet up in Johannesburg for Cape Town, whether I was counting down the months, the weeks, the days, the hours, or the minutes, there was no doubt in my heart and mind, I could not wait to see him again.

Beware of Online Romance Fraud

No more a laughing matter

In August 2007, I made such great fun out of an Australian sheep farmer who had been tricked into travelling all the way to Mali to meet a young and beautiful Liberian bride ready to pay him a hefty bride price. In Silly Dingo hooked by Nubian money boobs [1], I had a field day of jest and comical levity which on the serious side included a kidnap for ransom and threats to his life but for the quick thinking of his embassy.

In a new report in The Independent [2], it appears this is a serious issue and no more a matter for idle jest in what is now known as “romance fraud”.

Romance fraud

What romance fraud entails is a fraudulent group setting up a profile of a prospective partner on some international dating site and luring suitors into the possibility of love and romance. The exchanges can get to a point that they are impossible to share with others and therein is the lure.

The target is unwittingly drawn into confidence and faith that it is enough to compel travelling to meet the partner who sometimes is in some West African country. On arrival, the target is kidnapped and held for ransom before release, by which time the “stupidity” of the target is public knowledge and seeking redress is almost impossible for the shame of it all.

Loving into crime

This is even made worse for those seeking same-sex relationships in countries where homosexuality is seen as taboo. There, desperate young men offering undying love of the type one cannot find in more “liberal” countries with commitments bordering of subservience are sometimes an irresistible lure and at the same time leave the target with the impossibility of reporting the fraud to the authorities.

The view is that these crimes are under-reported; the victims are left licking their wounds and rebuilding their pride having been damaged by these unfortunate alliances.

Be wary, be alert

That is not to say one cannot find love online and in these dating forums, it is just important that one be very wary of impossible promises, besides one should find alternative ways of verifying that the prospects are indeed real rather than frauds, in fact, no matter the level of trust developed engaging your embassy in ascertaining facts or even serious crime agencies in detective work has more than a useful end for the purposes of safety.

Once you become the welfare source for your prospect by sending money for everyday things of life, your suspicious should be aroused and be ready no matter the level of lewdness in exchanges has become to cut your losses and run.

The most important thing is not to be ruled by the prospect of the best sex you have never had with the most beautiful thing that does not exist but in empty words and false photographs.

Do not divulge any unique details like full names, full addresses (emails should do) and never your bank account details. If anything of this romance is too good to be true, it probably is, think of yourself being groomed and lured rather than being wooed.

Shamefully, Nigeria and Ghana show up as places where your travel to see your computer lover might well be an ordeal you will not wish on your worst enemy.

Source

[1] Silly Dingo hooked by Nubian money boobs

[2] Briton suffers 'romance fraud' kidnap ordeal - Crime, UK - The Independent