Showing posts with label premature birth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label premature birth. Show all posts

Monday, 22 December 2008

The day I was born

Springing a prayer for offspring

Chatting to my dad yesterday as he congratulated me on my birthday with incessant prayers about my getting married and having children in his lifetime, I was on the verge of getting emotionally blackmailed.

Indeed, one is press-ganged into the henotic and obligatory amen in response to every stanza of required, desired and unwanted prayer, I would suppose the ones answered would be the ones in which we are in agreement – it would appear the exception clause I invoked sometime ago has lost its potency.

Ask daddy first

As the conservation went on, I asked, since I had only heard most of the information second-hand, what really happened on the day I was born, some 43 years ago, even though I also spoke with my mum, I was not sure asking mother would elicit any appreciable response apart from the memory of the agony of labour; only in exceptional cases should such an enquiry be made of the mother.

What transpired was an amazing review of differences and changes between then and now, my father’s memory was quite keen and I listened with rapt attention.

What really happened

Quite early on the 21st of December 1965, my mother felt some discomfort such that she arrived in hospital with my dad around 2:00 AM, nothing was expected because I wasn’t really expected; but my mother was kept in for observation whilst father returned home.

When he woke later that morning around 7:00 AM, there was a telegram under at the door announcing that he was the proud father of a baby son born at 3:20 AM; he danced for joy and went immediately to the hospital. (Telephones were not in most homes then, a telegram was the fastest way to get messages around in those days.

By the time he arrived at the hospital they were already expecting him, his consent was required to have me transferred to a teaching hospital where I could receive more care as I was born at least 10 weeks early.

He said I looked so small, not quite bigger than a hamster, when a name was desired he suggested Young Akintayo for the meantime until when a name arrived from home in Nigeria. (In the Yoruba culture, the child is not named until the 8th day and the parents usually defer to the elderly generation of relations for given names.)

Waiting around the incubator

When I was transferred he enquired about what should happen to his wife and he was told she could return home with him – hardly anyone knew she was pregnant, talk less of having a baby that was now some 30 miles away in an incubator.

She was back at work within a couple of days, though the Christmas holiday allowed for them to share my first Christmas with them as visitors but not being able to come too close.

I eventually had a room to myself with a nurse taking care of me morning, noon and night – to which a cheeky friend alluded the Genesis of my liking to be waited upon, apparently, it had always been part of my survival, if not upbringing – don’t know where people get all these silly ideas from.

Anyway, I was in an incubator for 2 long months before I could go home by which time I was much fully developed. He also noted that I was one of the very few boys born into the Nigerian community in the West Midlands then.

Good job! England

My father surmised that he was both grateful and impressed with the attention and care lavished on my fragile being to keep me through the early critical hours to the point when I was ready to leave for home.

That little hamster in a time when the father was not necessarily in the maternity ward holding hands, when telegrams were the quickest messaging system, when the mother was back to work almost immediately and you could trust the hospital to do all to preserve life is now 43 with not one iota of littleness about him.

What a story, the story about the day I was born.

Tuesday, 20 February 2007

Amilia against all odds

A dearly beloved soul mate

The miracle baby they call her as her parents arrived to collect her from hospital today, but she is to be kept back for a few more days. [1][2]

A kindred spirit with myself when 41 years ago, auspiciously today, my parents also arrived to pick me up, I came in at 26 ½ weeks, she came in at just over 21 weeks, usually not an age at which doctors expect the baby to thrive.

Well, something medicine and people are yet to understand is the fact that the will to live is a highly developed desire and determination to stay alive against all odds.

Fighter indeed she is

Baby Amilia - meaning fighter and hardworker - is a survivor born to upset the apple cart of convention and bring us to rethink any number of issues about the medical survival of the foetus.

With time we have learnt that babies born at progressively decreasing gestation periods down to about 23 weeks have the possibility of thriving, though there is concern about longer term development - in my case, I started walking quite late at over 18 months and then there minor problems with my sight.

We have also learnt that the foetus can feel pain at an earlier age than the 29 weeks that doctors thought possible.

I was expected March the 19th 1966 at the earliest for a full term baby, I was delivered of my claustrophic recluse on the 21st of December the year before, she was born on the 24th of October 2006.

Outlaw abortion over 20 weeks

Another thing is the issue of abortion, whilst I am liberally of the view that this decision should be between the woman, her doctor and her God, conscience or conviction, aborting a foetus at over 20 weeks borders on the sacrilegious.

How is it after carrying the baby for at least 10 weeks and noticing the differences to the body and mind a decision is left in abeyance until well into the fifth month of gestation, just over half the gestation period?

In other affairs of life, it is unlikely that people spend that much time making decisions of medical importance, if an operation is scheduled as critical; you go in and sort it out pronto.

If a pregnancy is inimical to your health and well-being, you get it sorted before the baby begins to develop form, character and poise, especially with the advances in ultrasound.

We, the early ones have rights to live

And so for those unborn who like me arrived a lot earlier than expected, having hardly fitted into the palm of the hand and were more survivors dependent on the will to live and answered prayer than the grudging confidence of medical science; abortion at over 20 weeks might as well be murder, more proof is developing to the fact that this is patently unacceptable.

Baby Amilia, you are welcome and we all born premature but now maturing in strength, wealth, knowledge, wisdom and purpose in life wish you the best of good health, great strength and magnificent success beyond just being the joy of your parents but a worthy contributor to the earth that needs to see more miracles that defy science and popularly accepted opinion.

[1] Miracle baby homecoming delayed

[2] Premature baby to stay for checks

Time to learn to feel our pain - April 2006