Thought Picnic: Seeing the more in the person

Just as it is

I recently had a series of exchanges that pertained to relationships concerning significant others. My inclination to err on the side of full disclosure has meant that in most cases the discovery of who I am does not come as a total surprise.

Being open about my sexuality since the early 1990s when it was not popular and sometimes frowned upon in the workplace was not to exhibit flamboyance but to address the scenarios where loose talk might cause unnecessary and avoidable offence.

I have been quite fortunate that I have encountered very little discrimination on the matter. If you ask a direct question, you will get the answer, when I was in a relationship, who I was in a relationship with and what we planned to do at the weekend. Relationships have always mattered to me because it meant I had someone with whom to share life experiences, unconventional as that situation might be.

Engagement with due consideration

In many cases, I have had colleagues ask questions, seeking information or enlightenment, sometimes about me, about themselves, or someone else. I would speak from my experience and understanding of issues, whether it be curiosity or having to deal with the situation of a friend abandoning a marriage for a new journey of self-discovery.

For me as a person, it matters and when others give due consideration to it, acknowledge it, respect it, and genuinely enquire about my well-being by embracing that context. It is why I felt quite enamoured when a prospective colleague deduced from my frequent travels and other information I divulged, that those journeys for whatever length of time they were for, were essentially family visits.

As we love to be loved

It is important and it is about my well-being and happiness rather than about anyone else, we choose our friends and much as we choose our partners, all familial and extended relations have the choice to embrace, reject, or be indifferent, but who an individual has as their significant other remains so regardless of opinion, for a different kind of intimacy exists between partners that is not present with any other.

There is something about being fulfilled and completed by certain associations, you may not understand it, but it exists, and it is what it is. For me, Brian represents that significant other and to be loved, cared for and supported like I am can only be what anyone else wishes for in whoever they have chosen to be their partner.

We should be careful not to be tempted to dismiss the importance and significance of the intimate relationships of others.

Related Blogs

Blog - This is my life, this is me (February 2019)

Blog - Doing what I do for love (September 2019)

Blog - Brian, My Funniest Valentine (February 2020)

Blog - Finding who all matters with (August 2020)

Blog - In my heart and in my mind (April 2021)

Blog - Thought Picnic: Understanding my greater good (May 2021)

Blog - This is deep stuff now (December 2021)

Blog - Make Someone Happy (April 2022)

Blog - Thought Picnic: Mostly, one is not alone (May 2023)

In gratitude

Much appreciation

It has been an interesting year for me, and whilst I did not find myself doing much of what I would have wanted to do, I have done other things I would have rarely found myself doing and been enriched by it all.

By participating in activities and volunteering, I have in many ways inadvertently met influential people and been involved in consequential decision-making forums that I would never have attended, but I found a voice and an expression that would normally not be heard.

Above all, it is how I have been sustained through some of the toughest times, the support of my partner, my best friend, my sister, old partners, my neighbours, my parents, support groups, my community, and many others who have fervently kept me in their prayers and supplications, with encouragement, entreaty, and even unwelcome and probably justifiable rebuke that has caused offense.

For service

We entertain much in how we exist, but we need to be careful about what we allow to define us. Faith and hope have set a course for the realisation of many desires, they are the complementary force of what will result in better and more uplifting stories. In many disappointments in the resolution and resolve goodness, mercies, and blessings cannot miss us.

It was only on Monday that I thought I should arrive at Manchester Cathedral early, just in case there was any help needed since I am a church steward. They had everything in hand, and I took my seat before additional rows were added to the reserved seats. I was not asked to move to another seat.

Interesting encounters

Just before the event started, a gentleman with a lady arrived, the usual small talk about the weather after pleasantries followed and a few quips on things English and so on. They had travelled in from Sale, and he needed some help getting up for the carol songs.

After the interval, he said there were so many people to meet, he had to chat to the High Sheriff of Greater Manchester and a few Deputy Lieutenants as he was one too. I suppose, if I had been more observant, a man in a pin-striped suit, his wallet so thick it needed rubber bands to hold together, a few acknowledgements from here and there, this was a community stalwart, known for his contributions and charitable activities.

At 85, I would pass for a son, his companion just 75 years old, both of whom in the inclement weather of the northwest in December needn’t have bothered but still with enthusiasm and a sense of fun made an appearance that should be appreciated. As the carol concert ended, we shook hands, and he gave his name. A very accomplished man indeed.

In all, I am very grateful, it is the last day of 57 and it is unimaginable how I could have thrived without the amazing support of Brian. You bring light and love, with joy and laughter. Thank you.