Learning to
Prioritise Recovery
I completed my last
chemotherapy session on 8 February 2010. There was another session scheduled
for 1 March, but when I saw the ninth session was set for 22 March, I
protested, telling my consultant that I saw my life resuming after 1 March and
was not mentally prepared for further chemotherapy beyond that date.
My objection resulted
in my multidisciplinary team cancelling the eighth session, but that was not my
original intention.
Having been given my
life back, I was back on the job market, seeking an opportunity, when my
consultant said I needed another six months of recovery before returning to
work.
Although I had a very
generous welfare package, I wanted to return to work. My sense of independence
drove me, just as it was clear that bills and the mortgage had not taken a
break due to my illness.
The Cost of Returning
Too Early
Within seven weeks of
my last chemotherapy session, I was back at work. Then my body told me a
different story: I neither have the strength nor the capacity for this
responsibility. I need to negotiate an adjustment or resign.
The management was
very understanding, and I was granted Wednesdays off. This break helped greatly
throughout 2010. It was clear I had not allowed myself enough time to recover.
However, I did not have the luxury of taking extended time off, as I was self-employed.
More recently, when I
was diagnosed with malignant prostate cancer in June 2024, I chose radiotherapy
and decided to work through the treatment in September and October of the same
year.
On three weekdays
during treatment, I had to finish early due to unmanageable fatigue, a known
side effect of radiotherapy.
Pushing Through
Despite the Warning Signs
Yet, after
radiotherapy, I worked for another month as my strength waned, and I realised I
needed more specialised care, for which I am grateful Brian provided in Cape
Town. I was on sick leave for seven weeks, and although I was paid, I felt the
urge to return to work halfway through the leave.
I returned on the
first working day of 2025. I was not fully ready, but my spirit was willing; my
body struggled beyond its capacity. I pushed through when another two months
off would have been ideal.
Throughout 2025,
aside from my holidays, hospital appointments and an episode of
epididymitis—after attending the hospital, I returned to work; by December, I still
had 14 days of annual leave remaining.
For someone coming
off a cancer diagnosis and radical radiotherapy, I had overworked myself out of
recovery and into a demanding work environment, complicated further by
political issues within management. The mentality of just powering through.
A Wake-Up Call
When, on Monday, I
experienced the recurrence of unexplained juvenile stomach cramps, there was a
suspicion that I could endure the pain, and I did for hours.
A contractual
obligation that we delivered to the client every Monday, which I controlled, I
promptly completed ahead of schedule, posting the results before I left the
office.
While the stomach
ache did subside, it took its toll. I was in bed all of Monday, on nil-by-mouth
except for essential medication. The same continued through Tuesday and most of
Wednesday.
Amidst this, I
realised: I do not give myself enough recovery time because I am driven,
compelled or obligated by responsibility, circumstance, or situation. None of
which is healthy.
A Commitment to
Change
It is a realisation I
must keep in mind. I am not in a competition of appearances. Good health will
always lead to greater productivity; any shortcomings become visible somewhere.
