Thought Picnic: As Runner-Up Miss Congeniality, I Didn't Quite Make It

For beauty for desire

The modelling agency called to say they found my portfolio online and they were interested in entering me for a contest since I had the figure, the charm and the statistics that will suit the collection that was soon to be shown.

At first, a viewing and photo-shoot was to take place in a few days, but the agent who made the original arrangement had gone on a scouting mission, leaving me in the hands of another who did not seem to know the difference between a bustier and a corset, I was quite patient as we arranged another photo-shoot two days hence.

Looking good on the catwalk

Regaling myself in a shimmering evening gown having spent hours waxing, making-up, having my manicure and pedicure done, with a change of apparel to do a swimsuit, casual and formal showing, I arrived at the catwalk a good half an hour early.

Somehow, the couturier could not be found as messages were left for him to come to receive his guest.

With hardly a minute to the appointed time, he appeared with the director in charge of design and fashion procurement and we got down to the session and the changes.

Somehow, it was a half fitting contest and a half beauty contest, with the other contestant in the running doing her own thing too.

Tearing my hair out

I was to hear soon whether I had been selected but this decision did not come for a week, meanwhile, the modelling agent and the other were displaying levels of unprofessionalism that beggared belief even though I made no point of highlighting that fact, I tried to be less concerned about it, the session with the couturier was very good, I did feel confident.

So, finally with my patience running out, I made a last enquiry for two reasons, to get an assessment of the session and hopefully to also get a nod about having won the contest.

Congratulations! You’re the runner-up

It was then that I heard that the couturier was quite impressed with my showing but with regrets that it was difficult for him to decide and in the end the decision came down to this, ‘the other model was slightly more suitable from a personality perspective.’

In a two-person beauty contest I was runner-up for Miss Congeniality, I guess I do need a makeover, now where do I start?

Johnson Ademola Babatunde - I'm on your case

I can be so evil

All men on earth must be thankful that I am no deity with the ability to visit the plagues of Egypt and the destruction of Pompeii on just one person and still ensure that he not be utterly destroyed but be left to endure pain he has never known and curses like they have never been visited even on Job and sevenfold without reprieve.

My blood boils and my anger will not be tamed because he who seeks to incur wrath like there has been no precedent to refer to has touched what is most dear to me, I will not rest and he will find no peace until he is apprehended and punished severely.

It must be one of the blackest days on the anniversary of the loss of her dear nephew and my loving cousin some rotten scum of the dregs of hell took the advantage of a vulnerable 69-year old mother to inform her that her son was in trouble having had his documents seized and was in need of urgent help.

A mother’s anxiety

Sadly, alarm bells that should rung when he suggested she keep the situation to herself were deadened by what one would call a mother’s anxiety beclouding better judgement.

So, to the bank she rushed to shell out tens of thousands of Naira in aid of her son when in fact she was being scammed – it was when demands were made for more money that she contacted my siblings and basically the penny dropped that whoever it was was up to no good at all.

Not only has it left my mother in serious distress, it was upsetting enough on my end to make me cry.

The detail

The money was paid into a Stanbic IBTC Bank Savings Account number 9304743966 with the account holder name being Johnson Ademola Babatunde.

I cannot say where that person got my mother’s telephone details from but I know that one of my Hotmail accounts was compromised recently.

In any case, I am trying to get all my contacts notified that they should read my blog, contact me, failing which they must discuss any cold calls about my being in distress with others before acting on any instruction to part with money.

In any case, I have contacted Stanbic IBTC Bank and written to them with the hope that something can be recovered of this unfortunate and sordid affair. I expect the bank to do something about it, if not the recovery of the money, they should have details of the identity of this criminal for purposes of criminal prosecution.

The phone number

The caller used +9447024062687, it is probably +447024062687; +4470 numbers are personal numbers which may not be from the UK because it belong in international call forwarding services, the +44 7024 0 range was allocated to Magrathea Telecommunications Ltd in 2005 and the company has been cited on certain scam and fraud watcher sites.

Whoever, this man is, I am coming after you and I will not relent, somewhere, some place, some time, you will slip up and I will have my chopping board and meat cleaver at the ready to take your fingers phalange by phalange to feed to rabid dogs.

Woe betide you for all your days, you have got it coming.

Thought Picnic: Attending the 1st Church of the Bank

A Facebook initiation

I found it difficult to join in this Facebook discussion, matters concerning religion amongst Nigerians very rarely find an objective trajectory, getting involved in the conversation almost always leaves you exasperated.

In this case, I decided it was best to lift the initiating statuses from Facebook and create a blog on the issues raised.

Chxta Bee

is pretending that he hasn't heard about the 1k charged as gate fees by Christ Embassy...

http://www.facebook.com/Chxta/posts/190118291004350

Seyi Osiyemi

Gone are the days of I.O.U Christianity. When you are allowed to make a monetary 'pledge' and pay later. Nowadays, it is 'Pay As You Go' Christianity. Some Churches even have signs saying 'cash only'. And in cashless societies, the ushers have mobile EFTPOS machine or there's always an ATM within the Church premises. #The Lord Loves A Cheerful Giver#

The gospel of cash

The matter of church and cash or the tendency for the message to centre mostly on money, the acquisition of lucre and the dispensing of it with the lifestyles that purveyors of that gospel live always draws comment and many not that favourable.

The common term for this message is the Prosperity Gospel where prosperity which should be broadened to include health, peace, contentment and ability has been narrowed down to transactions in money.

Now there is a faith element that allows people to believe that investing in the “House of God” is good value with great returns and there is no reason to contemn that belief system, it does work for some.

Cash the key to the blessing

However, it becomes worrisome when access to the sanctuary is gated as if one is attending some social event of particular privilege and right of access to those who can afford to make payment to gain entry to that inner sanctum for blessing.

There is a school of thought that proffers that no one is compelled to make that payment but coercion does not have to be direct, there are people who are fearful enough of the missing a blessing that their motivation is compelled by that fear of losing out.

There people who think the “Man of God” is infallible and hence every utterance and action is presumed to be of God no matter how wrong and false it might be, in that vein they are compelled by the force of the personality they believe is derived from Godly instruction.

There are others who might well question the rationale behind this development but cannot be seen to separate themselves into a thinking minority challenging the norms in that environment – so they are compelled by the circumstances to acquiesce and emulate.

The majority however just do as they are told, joyfully, sheepishly and without hesitation, they have become members of the cult, their spirituality well exceeding their ability to reason out the options they might have and make quality decisions grounded in the Scriptures they profess to fully believe to the letter.

However, let us not challenge any of these people on any of these belief systems, rather, let us assume a more practical posture on this matter.

The harvest of investing or sowing

If money were put under a mattress, it would yield no interest and probably go mouldy; however, if invested in a bank with some guaranteed interest there would be some profit; in shares or stocks, there is the possibility of there being a profit or a loss but those who invest in the markets vary their options to ensure that their investments yield returns.

The farmer naturally sows seed expecting a harvest and knows when a harvest is good or bad, tends to the crops during the season between planting and harvest to ensure that the best yield is derived from all the labour that when into that activity with the hope that when the crops reach the market it would have been all worthwhile with the impetus for the same rewarding activity the next year.

Most instances where references are made to sowing in the Scriptures there is the reaping; where investments are made there is real accounting and accountability with rewards for making the best of the initial capital given.

Open a ledger with God

In other words, there is nothing wrong with paying into the coffers of these institutions of churchianity but open a ledger with God – write down what you put in and when you did, note when you get your returns and if that investment has been worthwhile or your church has been selling you junk bonds masquerading as seed faith.

With all read and seen, there might well be a time for some tables to be upturned in the temple, there might not be the money changers and pigeon hawkers of old, not even the selling of indulgences of times of Martin Luther but your indulgence in being craved and many leaders are indulging in very unscriptural practices but if you cannot free yourselves of these cults I would suppose the leaders have had it made and you have your hopes to live on with reality somewhere in the not too distant eternity.

Meanwhile, we are all fully persuaded of the fact that, the Lord loveth a cheerful giver; a bountifully rewarded receiver could even be a more cheerful giver if they have been giving for the right reasons, in the right places far from being fleeced for every penny they have to receive that amazing blessing.

Think! My people, think!

Paulson: Burying the dead and ignoring the murderers

Bones of the bull

That was really the week that was and just as we were about the pick the dry bones of the bulls [1] slain by the plague of lack of confidence in the desolate Wall Street the great chiefs of capitalism prophesied the breath of socialism upon the bones and the cows live again to milked dry by blood-thirsty hyena cubs.

No, certainly, the events of the last week cannot have passed anyone by and I kept my counsel for as long as I could till I flipped through the pages of the Economist that arrived in the post this afternoon.

The elevenses

Just after the letters and on page 11, eleven being the number of the chapter that Lehman Brothers wrote at the beginning of the week, a firm whose existence has been swallowed in the sands of time with an 11^th hour buyout was reliving its past in an advertisement that proclaimed Merrill Lynch connects capital to opportunity.

It ended with “Our 94-year history of leadership in the financial industry has been a source of confidence for our clients in both good and challenging markets”.

I had to check if my magazine was current, it was, the advert had been paid for and basically the Economist was putting it out despite the fact that that 94-year existence had been terminated a few days before.

Dishonourable things abound

Now, if I were unaware of the events of last week, I suppose I would be expected to buy that bull with horns protruding like ones off a devil’s face mask and throw my money into the opportunity to see it swallowed up in great loss.

It was just over a year ago when I wrote about Baling Out Trust [2] which lamented the way the basic foundation of business following the dictum “My Word is my Bond” and its counterpart of trust had been eroded by dishonest, corrupt, vice-ridden and dishonourable practices.

In December I talked about how we were Fixing Capitalist Errors with Socialist Favours [3] ending my comment with the thought that these actions would create more problems in the future and that none of it had yet begun to unravel.

People were not focused on where the problem was as they got distracted with the idea black holes would be created by the Large Hadron Collider which is since been shut down [4], a more menacing black hole was busy swallowing banks and financial institutions in the United States in the United Kingdom.

Cleaning up a no-crime zone

Whilst these events require a lot more analysis what I see is simply this – guys with big guns came into town with a swagger and 10-gallon hats banging on tables, ordering the most expensive drinks, cavorting in wanton orgies with the women and having a raucous moment allowing the occasional tips to the locals who dared to join in.

Along the way there was something approaching complete social breakdown and a few of the guys were brought in for questioning, smacked on the wrist and let go.

By the time we knew it there were a good few dead bodies on the street and no one could do anything about it that it raised up the foulest stink everyone stayed indoors.

The sheriff walks in and says “We need this to be clean and to be quick”, and we need to get it in place [5], we’ll clear up the dead and bury them in the community playground, that may clear up the stink – meanwhile no one is worrying about the murderers, they are still walking around with big guns, probably with a little less ammunition, drinking less and having a low profile around the bar.

We need to get rid of the stink because no one is coming out unto the streets, nothing else matters.

The whiff of nothing

The funny thing is the dead are still in the streets, the stink is still there but in expectation of the clear-up – the stock markets are already behaving like the town is as pristine as a spring garden.

Well, in fact, let us pretend there has been no murder because by the time we do the forensics we would only have bones to exhume.

We are back to where we started and the vicious circle begins again and no one really paid for the crimes of the past rather the community lost their playground to an impromptu cemetery and anyone who dares to go out to play at night knows never to go out there again.

Source

[1] BibleGateway.com - Passage Lookup: Ezekiel 37:4-5; Reference to a passage where Ezekiel prophesied to the dry bones in the valley

[2] Baling out trust [akin.blog-city.com]

[3] Fixing Capitalist Errors with Socialist Favours [akin.blog-city.com]

[4] BBC NEWS | Science/Nature | Hadron Collider halted for months

[5] Paulson: Plan Needs To Be "quick" And "clean", By Patrick O'Connor - CBS News