Dreamscape: I said hire me

Untouched by Touch

It was one of those contactless payment nightmares, and it truly was a nightmare. I was with a close family friend, and we had boarded a train within the city to travel from one location to another.

Upon arrival at my destination, my mobile phone simply refused to provide the NFC-related information and contactless payment interaction to let me through the exit barriers.

Despite my efforts, my friend easily exited and waited for me as I began to look like a fare dodger. However, I had indeed touched in where my journey began and was struggling to touch out.

A Free Pass Granted

One of the staff came to help, first directing attention away from us before moving us outside the perimeter of the checking system. Effectively, I was beyond the exit barriers and could go on my way.

However, having touched in, if I did not get a legal touch out, I could potentially be fined almost 10 times the cost of travel. I needed this resolved before I was subject to a cash grab from my account.

Finding a Solution

Upon reviewing transactions on my phone, I found that the entry contactless system had failed to register my touch-in properly, posting an Error 21, indicative of a fault with the system rather than a mistake of my own making.

I approached the staff who called in a technical architect to review the error. While acknowledging the error was not my fault, he opted to do nothing about it as he prepared to take his dogs out for a walk. As far as he was concerned, the cost was too minuscule to warrant concern.

Meanwhile, in my examination of the information related to the error, the company admitted fault and offered compensation for the inconvenience. As the architect was walking away, I inquired about the compensation, and he promptly signed off a few free tickets for daytime and nighttime travel.

Fighting My Corner

It was his attitude that was grating, inconsiderate, and failed to recognize the needs of the customer. To which I vocally stated, for all to hear, “If your company needs a technical architect with an eye for detail and solutions to help the customer, please immediately hire me.”

That was completely out of character for me; I am not typically one to express myself in that manner. However, I felt irked and disrespected; it needed to be said. All that agitation, and it was only a dream.

For the simple need to be heard and understood

If only I was heard

When I asked my line manager some 28 years ago that I wanted to attend an assertiveness course, he scoffed at me saying there was no way I needed to be on that course, that I was his rottweiler in tough negotiations and I was more than articulate enough to get my point across.

On reflection, I should have been allowed to attend that course for the simple reason that I might have learnt something about being heard when I speak and being understood when I have spoken.

If only I was understood

There is something missing in my communication, no matter how hard I try to convey a point or a situation, some of my longstanding readers read me through a prism of experience and provenance, it is rarely situational in the context of the particular time and place. Dare I say, they do not capture the zeitgeist and I am left making multiple attempts to be heard and understood.

In some ways, I am heard but not listened to, the hearing or the reading creates a kind of awe of the mastery of language, which might fail in the efficacy of meaning. Invariably, the myth that I am a good communicator is just that, a myth, because everything I have intended has been lost in the superfluity of delivery without delivering the message itself.

If only it didn’t have to be in a rage

I tried in at least three blogs to shout out my helpless situation for which I had concluded that I needed therapy, it did and literally fell on deaf ears, it became a soliloquy when I thought it was broadcast communication from which those who read my runes could reach out to me to offer support and succour.

I must conclude I failed in that simple task of asking for help, getting some time, and eliciting the latitude of patience to allow me to sort my head out. In the end, it all came out in a rage, seething rage, untrammelled with raw emotion and worked up in utter exasperation and helplessness. Sadly, we sometimes just need to hurt a little to know that the pain is real, the truth is bitter and maybe we might just see let the chips fall where they might.

References

Blog - Thought Picnic: Stuck on the absence of desire

Blog - Thought Picnic: In the struggle to resume as I

Blog - Please, be at ease with me

Opinion: Save the children from these people - Part I - The South Korean Ferry disaster

The father in me

Maybe just a word or two needs to be said about a number tragedies that have involved children that I have tweeted about lately.

I find myself having never exploited the possibility of having children and now by reason of the effects of chemotherapy possibly having no ability to bear my own children.

That said, age and maturity suggests and imposes on me a sense of both parenthood and grandparenthood that it is impossible for me not to at the very least feel like a parent would about their child or children in every way from the ordinary things of life, the celebration of successes or the unfortunate waves of anxiety and tragedy.

A lost integrity

In faraway South Korea, it was the man-made disaster of a ferry sinking that took with it hundreds of children’s lives as the captain of the ship shirked his responsibility and posed as a victim to get treatment.

Maritime responsibility has changed since the days of the Titanic or before then when the captain, Edward Smith went down with his ship rather than turn up later with crocodile tears asking for forgiveness and what not.

The ethos and integrity of captainship does not seem to have been installed in the captain of Costa Concordia and now MV Sewol, which meant that passengers under their care suffered where they should have been better cared for especially where the accidents in both cases were caused by grave errors of judgement committed by men with character flaws undiscovered until tragedy struck.

English for disasters

There is the other issue about the crew who were both chaotic and indecisive considering it was clear that the situation they were in was beyond redemption. Maybe it is a problem with the Power Distance Index of the Korean language as Malcolm Gladwell observed in his book Outliers with regards to air accidents.

It makes one suggest that in times of an emergency one should dispense with protocols and get straight to the point about what the power is, who it affects, what help is needed and be clear as to how soon they need that assistance.

From what transpired between the crew in the harbourmasters, neither was authoritative nor clear, in the process we have the tragedy of the needless loss of life that could been avoided even if the ship was definitely going to be lost. English offers clarity removing unnecessary hierarchies and probably should become the maritime language of communication as we have for aviation.

Peace, they must find

The agony of the parents unaware of the fact of their children’s watery demise is beyond what words can express, beyond being sorry for their loss, even enforcing the most severe penalties against the cowardly crew would not begin to assuage the pain of the death of the innocents.

May they find strength, comfort and some peace through their faith or any support systems made available to them in these troubling times.

Yet, we must save the children from those who would not assume the responsibility they have in despatching their duties.

Thought Picnic: Resumenda vox mea

Fiducia mea frangitur (Latin)

Of all the things I lost to illness and there are many things to which I cannot begin to put a quantifiable monetary value on, what has been most difficult to recover has been my confidence.

The ability to project myself with the extraversion that comes with knowing what I know and knowing what I can do had diminished that I had literally lost my presence in voice, in tone and in assertiveness.

It fell to just my ability to write to keep an aspect of my expression alive, that was the only kindling I had left and it never failed me.

The bearing environmental factors

However, when it came to pushing my professional abilities, I just did not have the verve and the drive, that is where I needed the most help, this, being able to rediscover myself and stand tall knowing who I am.

Something in my character had become feeble and fragile as the worlds I built around me collapsed in ruinous calamity; a tale to make strong men cry in anguish, if not in resignation.

The environment in which I had suffered great ruin was no more fertile for the regeneration of self and esteem, something radical had to be done.

Making changes

That chapter was closed by following some advice I took over 12 years ago when an occupational therapist told me I was suffering the classic symptoms of a mid-life crisis 10 years early and that I had to do something radical like change my career, change my country of residence or do something as mundane as take up a new hobby.

That was when I moved to the Netherlands and it amazingly rejuvenated my zest for life, my sense of daring and adventure along with the renewed hunger for learning that I took on a Masters course with enthusiasm I had not known for ages.

Making changes again

Just to show how the change of environment can alter perspective, focus, realities, vision and boost morale to levels that make things happen like miracles – I have only relocated six days and things are looking really exciting, I feel confident, I have found my voice and that quality of assertiveness is coming forth quite noticeably.

In due course, I will share even more about what is going on, but the power of a journey to new places to change the direction of life such that one is not left in a rut cannot be underestimated – I have lived this reality twice already – I know.

Thought Picnic: The Importance of Being Distinguished

The element of dress

I was on a mission yesterday, a mission to appear and say very little, in what was a basic exercise in the importance of being distinguished.

Indeed, I have been called a dandy but there is really nothing to it, wear a shirt but don’t forget to don a day cravat, don’t wear jeans, chinos are the bare minimum otherwise wear a suit.

If you are not wearing a suit, at least have a jacket on, remember never to do up all your buttons, if you have more than one on the jacket, leave the lowest one undone.

Never forget the pocket square, have a good hat and if you are using a cane, I use one because of my back, it should have the bearing that belies your sophistication and footwear can never be trainers, good leather possibly black and side buckles than laces are more to my fancy.

The presence of presence

We were visiting an estate agent's whose reputation for unprofessionalism, rudeness and abuse was second to none as if the agency chain had trained their staff to frustrate tenants at every turn, making rules on the fly and always threatening to levy costs at the slightest opportunity.

What I had heard of them made my blood boil, what I had read of the agency chain on the Internet showed that they had form. I was ready to be present and present a presence of utter disapproval with all the gravitas I could muster – I know why I do not suffer fools gladly and I know why I can say to any customer service person I am not a vexatious customer, only one with a particular requirement that I expect to be met.

Demeanour matters, always

One does not need to raise one’s voice, slow measured tones delivered almost with a lockjaw buccal movement is as deliberate and effective as it comes – presence is an art, never a science.

We arrived at the estate agents, they shook hands, I had taken a seat before I stood up to be introduced and then observed the proceedings from a distance.

The estate agent was unusually nice, constantly seeking validation for which I would nod or sometimes interject, corroborate or elucidate.

My job was done and my friends left quite happy with the fact that they were offered the courtesies, dignity and respect a paying customer should expect. Obviously, by rights, it should be unnecessary to bring in a cavalry of dandies to impress and impress upon, but if needs must, then must one be offered on the pedestal of the importance of being distinguished – clothes, whether you like it or not do make a man and the way you wear them says a lot more than you will ever know.

The importance of nurses, bedpans to my career

Exuding the arrogance of expertise

Many a time, I have been caught up in what I might now with humility call the arrogance of expertise, where your confidence and assertiveness find voice in sound bites to make the listener very understanding of your position.

I have never really been able to persuade any manager of mine to send me on an assertiveness course, maybe I have been just a tad dishonest, when I look at it, and I am usually able to get my views across with much clarity without having to repeat myself.

When it comes to my profession, I offer solutions and experiences in the enterprise that sometimes requires radical change, but I always strive to ensure that change is not disruptive as I also try to persuade the reluctant of the need to step out into a proven adventure guided by a man with skill rather than with a cowboy who attaches horse-shoes to his heels.

Must work at commissioning

Despite the constraints of projects, budgets and time, my goal is to implement something that works at commissioning rather than deliver something on time and then spend months trying to get things to work, this is what gives IT a bad name and reinforces the blurred vision of outsourcing.

One area where I am not like your usual big-lettered architect, specialist or a good majority in Information Technology departments is I like to see the user’s perspective of my solutions, I do not mind sitting amongst users for days just t discover where they might have issues and then I return to the design with ideas for improvement that I forcefully put through the system.

This is what I call the User Experience Perspective, when I get involved in a project, my solutions affect the users the most, then the operators and administrators need tools for management and support that do not complicate their laden, busy and cumbersome chores and workflows and finally the enterprise that expects to benefit greatly from the ideas proffered and implemented.

Worth doing well

I have no qualms with the old saying which goes, “What is worth doing at all, is worth doing well”, when I am involved in a project, people can get sickened with the emphasis on “doing well”, that Utopia is usually not achievable but there would be enough fights to bring it as close as possible to a project done well.

With all this in mind, it is no wonder that I generally prefer to report to some infrastructure manager at Vice-President level and would rather not an operations manager because operations is about keeping things running, no matter the tools and problems, one can understand why change is immediately viewed as disruptive with the foreboding of catastrophe.

I cannot stress enough how I have the greatest consideration for operations and in finding ways to simplify, improve and/or eliminate manual procedures that are prone to error.

Can I put this in a CV?

How you bunch all this up into a marketing profile or curriculum vitae, I do not know, but once I am in the organisation, I am usually able to prove my mettle and value, it stands to reason that in the last 10 or so years, my jobs as a freelance consultant have come from the network of colleagues and recruiters I have once before worked with.

Recently, after writing a commendation to a manager I last worked for some 10 years ago, I received an email stating if our paths ever crossed again, he would not hesitate to employ me again. Thanks.

However, back to the inspiration for this blog that seems to have digressed but is still on topic is the importance of operations in an enterprise and nursing in a hospital.

Nurses and bedpans are critical to treatment

That arrogance of expertise is expressed in these words, “I am doctor, I don’t do bedpans”.

Implying, whatever it means but whilst I was glad to see the doctors every once in a while when they did their rounds, it was the nurses that the carers with the extraordinary commitment to their jobs, their care, compassion and unflinching ability to do beyond bed pans and much more that has humbled me.

One morning when I could get out of bed on my own to have a shower, as my feet got under me, the rush of lively blood to my feet was accompanied with pain that could only have been like my feet being set on fire over an over-acting barbeque, I was in tears and in serious agony.

They are up to task

So, as I sat under the shower, I told the nurse, I did not care and like she was prompted she got the sponge and soap, scrubbed me all over and showered me completely. Even the crown jewels were handled with such sensitivity.

You can be so vulnerable in hospital and then have these nurses, some still students who get in, get on and are part of the essential lifeline of the treatment process. Where one does not have guests, you can imagine how we all light up when a kindly nurse returns after each break according to their rota.

Even where I thought a few nurses were a bit tough, you soon experienced the milk of human kindness and compassion beyond words.

Commending the nurses at OLVG

I took the trouble to learn all their names and address them by name, keeping friendly and accepting with deep gratitude their help, conversation and service. I do not believe that matter of bedpans would cross my lips again as a tribute to these nurses.

Without naming their names, I still must make a direct reference to these people with the angelic disposition of goodness and kindness.

I was at the Onze Lieve Vrouwe Gasthuis (OLVG) [1] for 18 days and this is for the nurses, porters and service personnel at section B.06. Thank you, one and all, I am full of gratitude, appreciation and deep acknowledgement of your service and care.

May all you lay your hands upon to do prosper and may your be rewarded beyond measure for the acts of kindness that continually flow out of your bowels of mercy and consideration. May great an abundant blessings flood your lives. In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Sources

[1] About the OLVG – Onze Lieve Vrouwe Gasthuis