A Week of Lethargy
I would hate to admit
to being lethargic, but there could be no other word to explain it. Last week,
when returning from London, I bought a piece of rump steak and a salad, with
the view to having it for supper.
That never happened.
Each day as I returned home thinking I might cook, I was simply too tired to be
bothered, so in most cases, I went to bed on an empty stomach and only got up
quite late to take my pills.
When it comes to
food, I enjoy cooking, and there are times when I do crave something different,
but I never immediately act to fulfil that craving. It sits on my mind for a
while until it is either dismissed as exhausting or I am compelled to act.
Steak, Finally
After more than a
week, I took the steak out of the fridge, marinated it, and rather than tossing it
in oil in a frying pan, I left the cooking to the air fryer. Soon it was done,
wrapped in foil for five minutes, before I put it on a plate and served it with
the salad.
I probably did not
recover the sense of satisfaction that had greeted my initial intention and
purchase, but I am glad it did not end up in the bin through disuse and
spoilage.
Shifting Ground
Then, as I navigated
the issues that needlessly occupy the mind in uncomfortable ways, I attended an
all-hands meeting that dwelt on the future of work. It was the kind of
situation where you feel the ground shifting under you as if you were
experiencing an earthquake.
I was able to link
this to another experience where, as a sitting tenant, my apartment was sold to
a provincial carpetbagger who probably should not have been speculating in my
city. Considering not much had changed in my apartment for a decade, I was
receiving demands to meet rates relative to the area without any corresponding
changes to the commodity.
Loving where I live
and my neighbours, I have made adjustments and accommodations, but there are
limits to acquiescing before it becomes untenable. A recent posting in my
village would suggest I am paying over the odds.
A Contract in Flux
The shifting sands
metaphor also applies to work. The services contract between my employer and
the client is changing such that the functions I perform will transfer to
another service provider, whilst my employer assumes an overarching
responsibility between the client and all the engaged service providers.
I think my employer
is somewhat conflicted, because they would lose personnel engagement but
acquire a broader first line support profile, along with that control and
interface between the service providers and the client. The question is whether
I am transferred to a new service provider or retained to function with other
clients.
Grief Is Not a Career
Change
For me, that meeting
was rather depressing, and it was not helped by someone in a top managerial
role trying to be a psychologist, addressing issues of fundamental change to
career trajectories.
For someone who has
studied and traversed the Five Stages of Grief
with respect to two life-threatening episodes of cancer, the last thing I
expected was to recognise those words adapted into a philosophy of change at
work.
The intent was
commendable, but I do not think due consideration was given to the effect such
associations would have on the attendees. Changing jobs or having employment
contracts change whilst retaining the same role can never equate to any stage
of grief of the kind I had experienced.
It was almost as if
she were having a laugh whilst trying to be empathetic and serious.
In the end, I was
unimpressed and totally nonchalant, even as the burden of other concerns,
including health challenges, became a lexicon of daily struggles seeking
ascendancy over better stories and good living.