Thought Picnic: Take slight or plight

Without an enforceable right

I found myself thinking of the need to be aware of where you are and who brokers power in that setting. If you find yourself somewhere either at the behest of another or where the right of access is reserved as a matter of courtesy, in the most friendly of situations you will be welcome, but if things turn sour, you might find yourself unceremoniously ejected.

It reminds me of a social event I attended way back when I was in school, there was a series of Scrabble games that I played in competition until there was an underhand activity that I disputed. The situation became rancorous as I remonstrated, one of the organisers, instead of reviewing the situation objectively thought I was disruptive and politely asked that I leave.

I was enjoying the competition and could have won a prize, but the situation was totally out of my control and there was no recourse whether the decision was right or wrong to seek any redress. One friend opined that regardless of the circumstances, I had allowed the situation to deteriorate to the extent that I earned myself an exclusion from an open forum in which if I had allowed myself to be cool-tempered, I might have had a better night.

Beware of hidden might

I observed the use and/or abuse of power earlier where, in an open chatroom, one of the visitors might have taken umbrage at the activities of another member in the chatroom. There was no need for the situation to escalate and the use of language could have been moderated, I could have intervened, but I did not. The visitor, new to the chatroom was challenging someone who was also a chatroom administrator with the means to both remove and ban from the chatroom.

Much as I conferred that administrative right to the person, they have complete autonomy to act in the best interests of the chatroom, sometimes, that interest is conflated with self-interest and a power trip, but I need other members to help in administering the chatroom, which he does quite well most of the time.

That visitor eventually earned themselves an ejection from the chatroom probably unaware that he should have looked around a bit more to ensure whoever he was tussling with does not abuse their power. Some of us are probably more restrained, on balance, there was no need to call out anyone, the visitor was unnecessarily disruptive in the chatroom.

Take slight or plight

This is not to suggest that I am all for power tripping and the abuse of power, there are times it is simply best to extricate yourself from a situation before it escalates into an untenable situation. Probably, it is necessary to prevent a situation where you are politely asked to leave or you have to be bundled out unceremoniously, there is no accounting for the circumstances.

However, if you find that you like to be where you are and you are there with no particular rights apart from out of courtesy or tolerance, do not court notoriety and avoid avoidable altercations, because there is nowhere you can go to enforce a right or regaining access once you have been kicked out. Cool your temper, hold your tongue, maintain your dignity, or just leave without being noticed; it is not the end of the world.

Thought Picnic: And we all were not Will Smith at the Oscars

We all have opinions

I have read with interest the many fanciful and interesting ideas and notions of people who with the benefit of hindsight and the ample opportunity for reflection would have done something differently well away from the heat of the moment when presented with circumstances that demand immediate response for which limited restraint is possible.

It reminds me of many football fans who with the benefit of panoramic views of a stadium and sight of literally all angles come to the conclusion that a footballer who has through dint of hard work and recognition of coach and peers has earned their place by virtue of talent and ability to be in that team. We forget that the person is limited to their span of vision in that setting trying to assess and respond to situations happening to and around them to find advantage for themselves and the team whilst seeking to disadvantage the opposing players and still contribute to winning the match.

Rarely the real perspective

If a footballer had the range of vision of television camera or a spectator with the kind of full anticipation of the pace and the direction of the game, we probably would be watching a different kind of football. If anything, it shows how penalty kick deciders are more than just being able to kick a ball into the net at close range, the tension, the expectation, the anticipation, and most evidently luck plays increasingly important parts in a goal being scored or the ball being saved.

A recently globally televised altercation of a rather insensitive joke made in ribaldry, to shock and amuse was met with a necessary whilst unfortunate rebuke in defence of a spouse whose partner might have been urged by her apparent discomfiture to act quite decisively to put an end to such levity. You can make jokes of anything, and yet, courtesy demands that some courtesy, sensitivity, and understanding be paid to difficult situations or unfortunate infirmities, you do not have to disgusting.

That we blab from our armchairs

To make jokes at the expense of race, disability, or sexuality would be so readily frowned upon and excoriated with the heaping of opprobrium on the joker. That we would readily accept a joke at the expense of a person who has lost a particular expression of their personality and beauty due to a condition that cannot be arrested and managed is to lose a certain sense of perspective.

Now, this is not an excuse for violent retribution, but we should be careful that we do not from our suitable armchairs of comfort be so conveniently positioned for unencumbered postulation, ruling the world on our ample backsides with opinions of idealistic but usually impossible to live realities. How we all would have acted with wit, restraint and the wherewithal to cool our tempers in the heat of the moment, as we are the epitome of the best manners and perfection. You never have to walk a long hard mile in anyone's shoes when you're sitting down.