Dublin: A Wedding Speech

An uncle of the day

When I was invited for a wedding in Dublin, I thought it was great honour to be considered. From a friendship and moral support perspective, at best, I thought I’ll be an ordinary uncle amongst many of the day. That for me for significant enough.

However, you can only imagine my shock when I received an email that I had been selected as one of two to make a speech no longer than 5 minutes and without religious exhortation since it was a civic ceremony.

I write and rarely speak

Now, I write blogs, it is quite due to my presumed inadequacies that I rarely write for other forums, at least I have not done that for a well over a year. I am quite comfortable with my blog, what I write, in my own space and without having to voice it.

I probably can count the number of times I have spoken into a microphone and in all those times, my voice quavered as I hoped to finish what I had to say before I lost my voice to nervousness.

Yet, I have been called to give impromptu speeches or even stand in front of congregations to talk and as long it was just my voice, it carried loud enough to the hearing of those present, but has not been something I have so desired to do with much enthusiasm.

The madness of inspiration

Back to the speech, I could not think of what to write as each day passed with all sorts of quotes and stories appearing in my usual reading that derives from news stories, Twitter and other media.

Nevertheless, on Wednesday night, the ceremony being on Friday, I decided to go for the madness of inspiration angle. The one where I have a thought in mind and I just begin to tap at the keyboard. I have written before that when I type I can be like a person possessed, the thoughts almost un-thought, the words never before strung together like that to my reading, something materialises.

Long enough, short enough

The theme I chose was the strength of communication and need to work together at making a marriage work and after my first draft, what was needed was some refinement of parts to make it easy to understand in a speechmaking setting, something I have no particular experience of.

I read it first to my flatmate, it was just 2 minutes 45 seconds long, he timed it and he liked it, but as I read it, I made some corrections. I have found that reading a piece out loud is a good way of proofreading a write-up; if it does not flow or sound right, it needs to be edited.

The same principle applies, as I do with my blogs, it should wear like a good skirt; long enough to cover the detail and short enough to keep the interest.

Reviews

Then I sent it to my best friend who thought the Shakespearean quotes I used were a bit Old English for my intended audience, though I thought otherwise. However, rather than modernising the language, I tried to explain the context better because I was playing with quotes and the names of the plays and to my mind I thought that was good.

The final edition and there were only three was sent to my colleague at work and that inadvertently caused him to suggest I might have to give a speech at his nuptials – surely, I am not that good. In any case, he liked it.

The speech was tested across three radically different cultural perspectives and the feedback suggested it was nice, that gave me some confidence.

Giving the speech

I have never fancied myself a poet, so I don’t attempt such theatrics, recitations are difficult because that means you have to commit the piece to memory, jokes were completely out of the question, I am enough of a clown that I could not afford to make a complete fool of myself, in front of strangers.

That did not leave me out of ideas, the speech just filled an A4 paper size but I decided to read it from a blown-up A3 paper size. The gag being as I talked about being asked to make a short speech, I would unfold the sheet until I had this unusually big sheet of paper in my hands and wait for a reaction.

The registrar was concerned that we did not have all day, but it was effective and though I stumbled through a few paragraphs, I seemed to come across well enough that some even remembered parts of my speech that were not particular quotes of others.

I do not think this is the advent of a speechwriting career, but for the occasion, I hope the words would matter to those to whom it mattered and that they helped to make a lovely day too.

Dublin: A Wedding Invitation

An invitation

Almost two months ago I was intimated with the plans for a wedding and at the same time invited. I accepted the invitation, noting the date and kept it at the back of my mind.

Then a month ago, we had another conversation where I got a better idea of the plans and at that time I decided to book both my flight and hotel as we were chatting.

Now, I have to be quite attentive to my booking regime because I cannot count the number of times I have had a hotel and flight booking mismatch or just got my return dates wrong because of the way calendar months are presented when booking.

At times, I’ll spend extra to have the option to review, reschedule, rebook or cancel, and that came in handy for when I booked my hotel.

Irelands

I have never been to Ireland, in fact, I have never been to any of the Irelands, those being Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland.

However, I do remember when I was about to be sent to solve a problem in Belfast in the 1990s and I just refused to go. The office was above a police station and this was during the troubles.

I said to them, there are places where being in close proximity to a police station would present a sense of safety, but I was not going to risk that in Belfast. No sooner had I refused to travel to Belfast did I experience the IRA bombing in Manchester where not even 10 yards from where I stood, shards of glass fell on a man. Those were crazy times.

Last year when I was working in North Wales, I could have taken the opportunity to travel from Holyhead to Dublin by ferry, I considered it many times but never found time to plan it. Dublin, here I come.

Eerie bookings

I booked my hotel, it looked like a bargain; in the centre of town and easy to get around until I had another look at the map and saw it backed unto a garden of remembrance.

Memorials are great and I celebrate them, but I know how my imagination can run away with such vividness that I could begin to see things. There are some things I do not want to see either by error or by commission; that realisation had me cancelling that booking almost before the confirmation email settled in my email inbox. Good thing I chose the cancellation option.

Besides, I need to follow my deepest premonitions more, because there have been times when something has suggested I take a particular action that later on I regret I have not done. Yet, I cannot beat myself up, I just hope that next time I am more sensitive.

Listlessly wireless

My usual booking site did not present any betters deals for the weekend I wanted to visit Dublin, so I tried LateRooms and that came up with a really good deal, I stayed at Wynn’s Hotel for 3 nights, the staff were friendly, the room was good, though the complimentary wireless internet service almost left me wanting to do the unconventional.

In the end, it was 3 nights in Dublin, but I must return because I did not get to see much of this amazing city which at only time in its history was second only to London in the British Isles.

Flight from fright

There are two airlines I would not board if they were the last escape from a dying earth, EasyJet and RyanAir, they have both for the no-frills and cheap flights they offer to places that would never appear on a decent map of civilisation taken the fun out of flying and in the process dragged everyone else down with them.

Gone are the days when not even 20 years ago you got a decent silver service for an hour’s flight in economy class. Now, one just makes do with a drink and sometimes you have to pay for that drink.

I’ll rather have stop-overs than take a direct flight, thankfully, Aer Lingus flies direct to Dublin from Manchester, though when I departed on Thursday evening, my flight lingered in late and left 45 minutes behind schedule.

The service was good enough and as I await boarding for my return to Manchester, the experience has been fun.

Rescue our cities from these louts

The louts from England

One only has to walk into Amsterdam on a Thursday night, yes; you do not have to wait till the weekend to observe the spectacle and nuisance.

My countrymen from England have arrived for a stag weekend what is know as the Bachelor’s Eve party in more polite circles. The cacophony, the raucousness and drunken behaviour is just a complete turn-off, we residents would hardly be found in the centre apart from when we are tour guides.

Amsterdam however is not the only city to suffer from this loutish display everything antithetical to the English gentleman, Dublin at one time trying to ban these sullen troops from destroying the friendly atmosphere of their city.

Dope, booze and sex

These cities however offer different delights with Amsterdam leaving the many quite worse for wear. They dope up on cannabis which is considerably more potent that their local brands and try out the space cakes which leave them completely spaced-out, from Thursday night they might be too out of it to the point of missing their flights on Sunday afternoon.

Then the booze, drinking so much that it would be like fish drowning in water, excess is excess on these trips, the sights are too sorry to behold.

Cheap flights fallout

The advent of cheap, no-frills flights has helped allow the swarm of undesirable behaviour and probably undesirable characters to normally genteel locations. Now, I am not against people getting around the world or even just Europe by air, they should just leave their bad attitudes at home – there was a time that these people could not even afford to travel to the seaside in England – well, some flights are so dirt cheap you wonder if they are sat in church pews beside the fact that they almost have to pay for oxygen at high altitude.

Just about 2 weeks ago, a group jetted off to Bratislava, as the Eastern European cities have become some of the hot budget destinations and they must be wondering if they want that sort of crowd.

Caught and fraught

The groom stripped naked and jumped into the fountain in front of the American Embassy, something he probably would never do whatever his state of mind at Trafalgar Square in London.

In what I would call unusual Eastern European efficiency – now, I do not know much about them – he was picked up by the police, put in the slammer, fast-tracked through the courts and very well onto a two month prison sentence.

The parents have brayed and bawled about legal representation, access to phones and other exculpatory issues, well, I would hope this would serve as a serious deterrent for the chap was on the verge of missing his wedding on which his nouveau riche relations had expended close to £20,000 – as if I care an iota.

Anyway, the young man has been set free after his local Member of Parliament waded into the matter seeking mitigation and clemency. The father has also unreservedly apologised for his son’s behaviour – and rightly so.

Rescue our cities

I would hope that the police in my city, Amsterdam and those in other cities that get invaded by marauding nonentities would be a bit firm-handed on these miscreants such that a message is sent out that we would not condone these attitudes – there is no reason for our city centres to be abandoned because of the anti-social behaviour of visitors feeding on drugs, alcohol and sex.

The other fact is, being English does not confer automatic immunity from police action or harassment, neither does it allow for people to flout public order and decency laws with impunity - what you will not do in England is probably not allowed here too.

When you get caught, the police would most likely not speak English to you even if they can, you probably would not have that phone call to your solicitor, they might not have a number for the embassy or consulate and if you have really broken the law, being a foreigner is not a “Get out of jail free” card.

So, be warned!