Opinion: Oiling Diezani's prison wagon

Oiling the wheels of hedonism

I had previously passed commentary on Twitter about the case of the erstwhile Nigerian Minister for Petroleum Resources, Mrs Diezani Alison-Madueke.

In a statement released by the US Department of Justice last week, they are after the recovery and forfeiture of $144 million in assets that are proceeds of corruption and money laundering conducted within the jurisdiction of the United States of America. [DOJ]

Kolawole Akanni Aluko and Olajide Omokore, both of whose Wikipedia pages are urgently in need of an update because the colourful profiles therein are anything but, they apparently conspired with others to bribe Mrs Diezani Alison Madueke with gifts including property and furniture to win lucrative oil contracts in Nigeria.

Oiling global scrutiny

Kola Aluko for instance, owns the luxury super-yacht, Galactica Star, it is the world´s largest fast displacement yacht [Wikipedia]. It is valued at about $65 million and it gained a rather high social profile when it was hired by Jay-Z and Beyoncé for her 32^nd birthday. [Business Insider]

Basically, Aluko and Omokore seem to have gotten their hands on lots of money from their nefarious activities and have not been reticent about living high profile lives of acquisitive hedonistic eye-watering ostentation.

In any case, let’s look at an aspect of this matter that does not seem to be dawning on Nigerians of power and influence yet. The fact that no one has the resources to completely control the narrative anymore. The power you wield in Nigeria that could be overwhelming in that locality is paltry in global terms, Nigerian smarts do not essentially suggest you are smart about things, you might well be stupid when taken out of that setting.

Oiling the sheen of stupidity

It brings me to a few trivial, yet interesting conclusions about Mrs Diezani Alison Madueke who we deign to call Diezani.

Diezani, has been both stupid and smart, smart in her involvement with her co-conspirators in crime to have recorded conversations of their wanton thievery and yet stupid enough to allow those recordings to become key evidence for indictment, because she somehow failed to sequester the material far from reach, it’s like being caught in the act, red-handed.

Smart to express a sense of proportion in admonishing the men about their hedonism whilst stupid enough in her cant to exhibit the same characteristic in accepting $4 million worth of furniture for her many properties. [Premium Times]

Smart to find ready patrons lacking in integrity and character to probably insulate her from the corrupt enterprise she presided over, but that itself was stupid because whilst she apparently got away with it in Nigeria, she could not in the UK and the US. [Newsweek]

Oiling the arm of the law

Carrying on the previous thought, smart to have absconded Nigeria since 2015 where she has escaped the hounding of ineffectual law enforcement and prosecution, but stupid enough to think they could not only provide influence but add value to the investigations and indictments instigated abroad.

To reiterate an earlier thought, invariably, what we stupidly assume as smart in the Nigerian context could very well be exposed as stupid in the global scheme of things. Everyone forgets that in our global village, that nothing of note in a secret local grotto is entirely isolated from the global klieg lights.

Thought Picnic: Looking in the mirror of cruel self-assessment

Answer like a fool

I have mentally played back some interview scenarios I had previously in the light of recently acquired knowledge, I feel like I have been a fool.

The interviews were not face-to-face but audio conversations over the phone. Where two interviewers might have sat together, I can only imagine the look of incredulity with possible utter surprise at what I was saying.

I probably had a good idea of what I needed to say, but giving an answer that was much broader beyond the stated function of an application would have left me looking like an idiot, even if my thinking was right.

Dig in

For all the knowledge I have, the intricacy of the systems and the complicated planning that goes into deployments requires practice.

It is an employer’s market out there; they can be as fussy as they like to be, because of the saturated pool of job seeking and hungry experts looking for an opportunity.

Much as I need favour, I also need to continue to work on improving on the areas where I am weak. I cannot afford to replay another interview scenario back in my mind and just realise that as I gnawed with my toothless jaw and bruised gums at the bone of the question, I am presenting myself in the theatre of the macabrely stupid.

Gosh! What work I make of myself, I need a tonic of life.

The first brickbat

The Police's Comment

There were comments to the blog I wrote yesterday, but one elicits further analysis.

Police made this comment,

hypocrite you are

using "locate" for find and so on

lets see how stupid you are. spot ur mistake:

"Then as I was getting off, the bravado of one portly man who was ((((((((((trying to getting))))))))))) the attention of a lady on the bus ..."

Hand up! I messed up on this one; however, there is much to be said beyond this.

The issue is still the issue

I like it when people make use of the word hypocrite because they always leave much more of the muck to throw back in their faces.

As I said in my last blog, I would expect brickbats from my blog, beyond that, whilst there would be comments that address the issues, there are some who would go for the sentimental at the expense of addressing the facts.

Usually, the better view to take is address both such that you can share your intelligence and probably valid concerns, but like we saw with the Kalu Orji Kalu interview, the smart saw he was not smart, but some thought if he had a better accent he would have been smarter - Go figure.

Police anonymous?

So, Police who did not provide a sender's address considering the ability to leave your email or URL when commenting in my blog begins by closing the opportunity to communicate.

My comment about using locate for find and so on left me open to the facetious which is fine, but if you are going to be pedantic, check your views, do not remove the 2 by 4 in my eye when you have a whole forest sticking out of your head - even I can play the role of hypocrite so well.

If anyone deigns to correct English grammar, communication is essential, punctuation is critical and conveying a message clearly without having to resort to abuse is class.

My sin was the use of getting instead of get, easy Freudian slip, I am not writing for the London Review of Books, but police seems to have stepped out of the house just in undergarments, an unkempt ruffian trying to adjust my tie.

Mud cakes for your face

Now, I have to assess the comments.

Hypocrite! You are. (Punctuation failure - 4 errors)

"using "locate" for find and so on" (This is quotation from my blog, it should delineated, forgivable, it is on a separate paragraph)

Let's see how stupid you are; spot your mistake: (Punctuation and spelling - lets is really two words Let us, written as Let's. The statement is a clause, so, should be punctuated with a semi-colon and your is not spelt as ur (sic) - English scholars might differ, however, English is my mother-tongue in that, it was the first language I could speak.

"Then as I was getting off, the bravado of one portly man who was ((((((((((trying to getting))))))))))) the attention of a lady on the bus ..."

Indeed, that was a rotten mistake and I would correct it, a pair of parenthesis would have sufficed.

Hypocrites know themselves

After being called hypocrite and stupid, the police must be sure of the grounds of the arrest, this police-person (Since, gender is unknown) is an impostor. Beware!

Please! No more red-penners, address the issues which were about being reasonable, considerate and conducting yourself properly in public, it still remains the issue of that blog, no matter how you read it.

Never use the word hypocrite lightly; it is like shit hitting the fan with you ready to get the spray whilst others are under the table.

Looking for smart cookies

Foolish me smartens up

I have been foolish and I have been smart, I would prefer that when I am foolish I realise that in private and lick my wounds in private, learn my lessons and move on. I have learnt not to condemn myself in the things I have allowed.

One is however, not averse to earning praise and accolades for being smart, either in private or in the public eye one learns to receive with humility and give with generosity.

When Albert Einstein died, his brain was removed and studied in 1955 by Dr. Thomas Harvey who then said there was nothing so different about the distinguished mass of gray matter; however, one can understand the interest in trying to find out why Einstein was so smart, a genius. Later studies did however, find out some unique if not distinguishing factors with his brain but that is beside the point.

A specialist neurosurgeon who was recently in the news being a public figure by reason of some high profile positions his wife once held, would have been a perfect candidate to study the brain of Albert Einstein and as a result, produce useful scientific fact about what made the Nobel Laureate a genius.

In what has been become a contrasting of extremes, the Big Brother episode which I wrote about in my last two blogs, the principal there might have been very foolish, if not stupid being illiterate and pig-ignorant but considering what she has made for herself, she has been smart.

Without prejudice, the neurosurgeon that happens to have a doctorate in neurosurgery – what he does not know about brains is probably not worth knowing – is learned, erudite, respected and knowledgeable, but definitely has not been smart, having allowed himself, if true, to be blackmailed many times for making his marital vows a bit trivial.

It begs the question, what does it take to be smart, and when you have been foolish how do you smartly keep that out of view?