Spotting the English from afar

Roddy Rowdy English

The English have gotten themselves a reputation for raucous rowdiness and public nuisance. I was at the Diana Ross tribute entertainment put up by my hotel which was good enough entertainment with good dresses and acceptable voices.

After a few songs the performers decided to go through a list of countries to find out who was from where – after 10 or so countries with the mildest of responses, I had already responded to the call for those from the Netherlands, then England came up.

There were quite a few and they did make noise louder than every other grouping, but the performers were not convinced because they had that bad stereotype of the England that they first made that perspective clear indicating we are a noisy boisterous bunch and then they called out for England again.

The affected responded to type and that was England revealed and sealed in its doomed reputation – I could not cry for England anymore.

As English as Fish and Chips

However, dinner offers the choice of a buffet of entrées and either a la carte or a buffet plat principal – the variety of cuisines is extensive covering all the Mediterranean countries, North and South, the Asian continent, Southern American fare and the local boiled salted potatoes with mojo sauce – you just have to try something different each day.

Amidst this feast and a banquet of choices almost unlimited, the idea of being on holiday with a sense of adventure should have your plate radiant with colour and exquisite tastes – amazingly, I could see and identify the English from a long way off – can you believe they only had fish and chips on their plates?

This hotel restaurant does gourmet, it is not some all-you-can-eat Chinese joint in the middle of some tourist street, the salmon gets carved in front of you, the ham comes straight off the shank into your plate, the designs on the large vegetables would make Mexican paintings look like kindergarten finger-painting and they end up with fish and chips – Give me peace.

Ordering vodka by the pint

With the UEFA Champions League final being an all-English affair in Moscow, someone would be trying to convince me that you can separate sports from politics.

Relations between the UK and Russia are not at their most cosy and definitely there are issues between Europe and Russia even though the same Russia is represented in European football as it is in the EuroVision Song Contests.

It would be interesting to see how the Russians process 42,000 visas for the fans of Chelsea and Manchester United – the projection is there would not be enough flights to cart the troops and Moscow does not come cheap – but football does have a fanaticism that is more compelling that cult membership.

The Sun newspaper that I had the misfortune of leafing through yesterday decided to get in on the game of helping the English get along in Moscow with an English-Russian guide that included the statement – Can I have two pints of vodka and a packet of crisps?

That, I would tell you, is the height of irresponsibility on a grand scale for a national newspaper, we have enough problems with the issue of English fans; keeping them sober is the beginning of peace and order – to advocate the serving of vodka by the pint does not serve this cause well at all, it is complete beneath contempt.

Anywhere you go, you will always spot the English, I suppose.

Seriously obsessed with gays

Obsessed about gays

The archbishop beat me to it, but one cannot help but notice the all-pervasive obsession with homosexuality amongst seemingly heterosexual macho men or fertile women all around the world. I do have time for Archbishop Desmond Tutu, a perceptive, practical, conciliatory world figure who I do respect.

The Church in its various guises has split over so many issues, in this day, it would have been more edifying if they were split on how best to handle to the scourge of HIV/AIDS - by missionary work or sending aid - maybe Darfur - by finding ways of isolating the government of Sudan or finding ways of safely getting medical and food aid to the refugees - or global poverty.

This is where the Church may be seen as relevant and responding to the needs of people, it also helps the work of evangelism as people see the work of Christ exhibited selflessly by fellow human-beings.

Galvanised on the negative

Unfortunately, the church cannot seem to galvanise itself on the work of compassion and love, their energies are being expended on the sexual preferences of people who would rarely visit church.

Those who visit and decide to fellowship in the communion are castigated and ostracised; they become the objects of pontifical proclamations of evil such that those barely interested in church do not bother themselves with the matter any more.

There may indeed be chapter and verse of fork-lifted scripture to condone and encourage animosity against homosexuals, but I cannot recall the Gospel being preached in that manner or tone - basically, you cannot get religion into people if religion would not first accept them as they are and then teach them how to live and grow in the tenets or doctrines of the same.

The gates are closed and slammed shut, long before the people who probably need church have had time to walk down the road that leads to the parish.

One would not be remiss at noticing that the church has definitely lost its way, the message of charity and compassion has been lost in the cacophony of conservative activism and some moral debate which in no way addresses fundamental human suffering as we see in the world today.

A right-wing ambush of shame

Move to Moscow last weekend and a peaceful protest to ask the Mayor of Moscow to allow a gay march, something that freely happens in most Western capitals is overrun by right-wing yobs throwing Nazi salutes for the purity of Russia.

It makes you wonder, if the spread of right-wing intolerance is the better image for a country or the simple acceptance of the fact that a minority people can be different and they too just have as much rights as any other citizen of that great country.

The question then becomes - what is it about homosexuality that agitates heterosexuals so radically?

Definitely, something deep down in heterosexual psyche is in need of psychoanalysis because I have never seen homosexuals get agitated about the gathering of homosexuals, they all probably grew up amongst that lot and have had to live with bigotry, intolerance and violence that comes at them every day.

That old rope

Many would say, I have heard that before, even the just recently deceased Reverend Jerry Falwell subjected himself to abject ridicule when he suggested that Tinky-Winky in the Children's TV show - Teletubbies was homosexual because of the purple colour of the body suit and his handbag.

No doubt it does look a bit suggestive; a spokesperson for children's rights in Poland picks up this dirty rag 8 years on. Ewa Sowinska first thought the character was female then thought male; asexual did not occur to her, fair enough.

She wants a psychological evaluation of Tinky-Winky to be done to determine if Teletubbies is suitable viewing for Polish children.

Now, I have seen how enthralled little children get with watching Teletubbies, it would be like snatching milk from the mouth of babies in order to protect them from - you tell me.

How do we get people like this to express such dastardly opinions in public and still appear sane? We are all obsessed with homosexuality - the sooner we own up the better we would feel about ourselves and the self-loathing that exacerbates the externalisation of unwarranted anger against harmless people who just want to get on with their lives.

That last question I asked 18 months ago lingers - Does gay marriage affect the relationship between you and your partner? If Yes; Why? If No; What is the problem?