Dinner in the infectiously youthful company of Chief Jibunoh

Shy and shrinking

Generally, I am not that good at networking, but I have that there are some people I have met who have had such a profound impact on me and with whom I have cultivated interesting eye-opening relationships.

I can strike up conversations with people on almost any topic, from the utterly mundane to the very serious, the theme that recurs is that our lives are stories, yet many of us never really get to tell those stories from the unique perspective of our voices.

I was in London to attend TEDxEuston and had arrived the night before to stay at my very good friend, Funmi Iyanda's place who as I arrived in London was about to go out to dinner with friends.

To dinner

By happenstance, the planned meeting was running a bit late and with it came an invitation to join them for dinner in London’s Mayfair area.

Before we left, she mentioned we’ll be meeting with Chief Jibunoh, his daughters, granddaughters and friends. I had read of his expeditions on the Sahara Desert years ago and this suddenly looked like an exciting prospect to meet an explorer.

Dr Newton Jibunoh [CNN] is nothing like what you will see of his peers in Nigeria, a grandee, no doubt but quite down-to-earth, adventurous, optimistic, interesting and most of all, an engaging raconteur. At 27 in 1965, he drove alone all the way home from London to Nigeria crossing the Sahara Desert, he has gone back to the desert twice again.

Much as I will not share as a matter of discretion the particulars of our dinner conversations, he left a great impression on me.

Adventure is educational

He is an environmentalist; he founded the NGO – Fight Against Desert Encroachment [FADEAfrica].

However, this well-travelled man allowed me to draw a contrast, the unusualness of his activities that we do not generally find amongst Nigerians, who tend to travel but appear to lack a sense of either adventure or curiosity.

As one of my tweeps observed on Twitter a few days ago, London is the main holiday destination of Nigerians, probably with Dubai and New York, not to imbibe art or relax, but just to shop.

Losing our youthfulness

It is a sad reality that there is no inquisitiveness that drives the desire to explore, to discover, to experience, to appreciate or to understand things and differences outside our zones of comfort and familiarity.

This mind-set has insidious and debilitating consequences because it robs us of youth and youthfulness, the possibility of expanded horizons is left to degenerate into disabling myopia, as we allow bluster and bombast to cover for our satisfied and yet stark ignorance.

In Dr Jibunor, who is soon to be 77, I found a man still open to the new, the different, the other and the exciting and as we parted ways, we all knew he’ll be up to something really adventurous and we cannot wait to hear of what he has gotten up to next.

More pertinently, there is a need for us to capture a sense of adventure, the quest for knowledge through the education of experiencing something new, first with our neighbourhoods, like going down a different path, trying a different means of transport, trying different foods, going to museums and breaking out of established norms.

The world is a beautiful place, but until we get out to see that world of people, culture, diversity, amazing colour and breath-taking nature for ourselves, the sense of beauty will only be heard of in the stories told by others, like Chief Jibunoh.

Holiday Snaps: Dressed to shock

Returnees’ paradise

One of the things that keeps me returning to this hotel on Playa del Inglés is the same that keeps the majority of custom coming, service.

Service, friendliness and going completely out their way to be helpful and wonderful. There is very little staff attrition, most of the people I met here where I first lodged in this hotel 7 years ago are still here. It was incidental that I noticed that even the bellboy has a car, they invest in their people.

Dining friends

Dinner is some sort of ceremony, everyone is dressed up in a fashion, it is not formal, but beach wear is not considered appropriate. Men are expected to be in trousers and ladies are expected to put some effort to it.

We are allocated tables for the duration of our stay with an option to change if we do not like our dining neighbours. Our neighbours were German and after a few days with their command of English and my smattering dollops of German we struck humorous and engaging conversation about our days, our food and much else.

Both he and her were not just well attired, but exhibited a quiet class and sophistication to their demeanour. My friend many times commented that they looked like love birds.

Malfunctions of dress

On other tables, some ladies seem to have brought a wardrobe that really should have been locked shut. In some cases, it was a strap or a bra pad smidgen away from a catastrophic wardrobe malfunction.

Strangely, I have not taken time to observe the shoes, but the dresses and the hair were jaw-dropping incredulous that words of disdain would spill out in a torrent if one were not slightly reserved.

Exciting taste

The food was rich in variety, with many healthy options and the obligatory dessert; ladles of ice-cream, some boiled fruit and then lashings of liqueur. The ice-cream softens kick of the liqueur and hence makes it easy on my palate.

Now, beyond halfway through our holiday, we are probably beginning to wind down for our return home.

Thought Picnic: Aborting peristalsis

A lunch-time malfunction

Suddenly caught within the travails of thought, taste, smell and food which was triggered at lunch this afternoon.

I had ordered beef stroganoff and rice, at the time of the service, it appeared the rice was hot, or maybe the plate was hot because I was getting uncomfortable as I stood at the till to pay as the till broke down.

I settled at the table and spooned the first and second mouthful at which point the mechanics of peristaltic movement seized to function, a massive paper-jam, in my throat.

Tearful choking

I took a few sips of my drink with the hope of eventually easing the blockage without much success; I could breathe but at the same time I was choking.

At which point, I had to run out unto the patio where all I could cough up was the drink, but the choke was still painfully there, I was already in great discomfort and in tears, my colleague that the table completely oblivious of what I had suffered.

Another drink of water did not help, as the time-out for regular peristalsis loomed, the process of ingestion could not be completed, I had to run out again and every that had gone in was seen again as the natural had been aborted for survival – Relief, but that was the end of lunch, I could not believe how much that experience had exhausted me, I was tempted to end the day at work.

Much, much later

Hungry as I was, the next intake I had was some tea about an hour after that, then two pygmy bananas before I returned to my hotel with the hope for supper.

The entrée of taramasalata and warm flat breads went down well but the main course after the second bite suddenly went off to my taste and with the collusion of my memory and my thinking exciting a feeling of nausea, I was in the gents the next minute and that was the end of dinner – I can only wonder what the whole problem was before I begin to worry.

Should I be bothered?

In the first instance, I could surmise that the rice was not really as hot as the plate felt and that could have the tendency of choking you but the event 8 hours after left me more concerned than it was comfortable to be.

One needs to see what tomorrow brings before panic sets in, puréed food or a liquid diet – let’s not go there yet.

Hotel life: Forks at the ready

Not half a bun fight

He needs a napkin, he had just been hit in the face with a toffee bun and it’s all over his nose. It did not take long as a family arrived and all one would hear from the raucous voice of the alpha male was that it cost a lot of money.

We know, but we do not stay as guests in this hotel to scream about cost, the situation is understated and the appearance is sophisticated, when one needs to speak, a modicum of decorum is not out of place.

However, speaking with ones mouth full is just beyond the pale, we endured it throughout dinner but that just opened our eyes to other misdemeanours that had been overlooked all the while.

Sword fights on a plate

The use of cutlery is as revealing as you would get it from not knowing how to use the placements from the entree to the plat principal to usages that were the cross between fencing and a sword fight with Robin Hood.

Metal to plate like a black smith working on a anvil, the deafening cacophony was arranged like a symphony for the deranged, but when sound comes from the armour on the clattering white horses galloping on the red hills of the buccal cavity, have your smelling salts handy.

I would give it no more airing but being present and having presence are attributes of breeding and nurture that the ability to afford cannot bestow on the present.

A brick house indeed

Full-bodied, that was not the wine but she who should not keep you abreast of events lest you be smothered – if she had a profession, she probably would be a soprano, she had the volume in all the senses of that word in opera to make her presence felt on stage and in your hearing.

Alas, that might not be the case for her couturier accentuated what should not have been accentuated and eliminated what should have been made the more prominent.

If your chairs have arms, your elbows should really not be on the table, not that they should ever be there except in arm wrestling, I need some air or maybe one is just being earnestly facetious.

Hotel life: Faced with scary mornings

The company of tables

I was down for breakfast and my inability to remember faces got the better of me. Guests get allocated a table for dinner for the duration of their stay in the hotel.

Being alone I have always required that I be put on a table adjacent to others so that I could strike up conversation and hopefully have my dinner with a modicum of social significance rather than rushing through a 3-course meal in less than 30 minutes.

The maitre ‘d always seems to get it very right, I usually get sat next to English speaking guests and I also have the choice of moving tables or having an earlier sitting for dinner. This could be 18:00hrs instead of 20:00hrs, I prefer the later sitting.

Cannot see it all

The retired couple is from Yorkshire, Skipton in fact which seems to have a reputation that could make my face go bright red – the Women’s Institute there is breaking new ground at least that is where the Calendar Girls [1] are from, the demure ladies who have posed for calendars with strategically place home goods to cover their obvious nudity.

This break with traditional country wife imagery was to raise money for leukemia research and the calendars have raised upwards of 2 million pounds.

However, it highlights the fact that you can never know what goes on in these places and when you do, do prepare to be shocked if you have feeble sensibilities.

Having good company

Robert and Vera are quite likeable though I have not been able to glean enough about them, I know that Vera has been a secretary in education and in the car industry, she appeared to have enjoyed what she did, in fact, I suggested that secretaries are usually the lifeblood of a business even though they are not accorded that much recognition for their services.

A few days ago, Vera seemed to choke on a her steak that she was almost violently sick, I was quite concerned but in what could only be evident when observed Robert was immediately by her side ready to do everything to make her comfortable and better.

He had immediately passed her his napkin, but then from observation he was almost more chivalrous than a knight, it was touching but isn’t that was long marriages are supposed to do?

A morning of terror

Anyway, like I said at the beginning of the blog, I saw this lady sat reading a paper which I should have first checked was English before becoming too forward in my enthusiasm to be friendly.

I thought it was Vera so made to say Good morning, and persisted till she acknowledged my presence, it was then that I realised it was not Vera but I had to follow through the awkward situation I had put myself in.

I was not prepared for the response, she was first startled, she jumped in what was certainly not mock terror and was too late to gather herself to respond and suddenly I felt like a gold-digger with an interest in a sugar mummy – I could not have been more embarrassed as I made for my seat sorry for the fact that the lady must have had some experiences in her life that probably should be left untold.

Single older women in luxury hotels, well, I just have to be very, very careful, I cannot be responsible for situations that could create serious emergencies – that is hotel life, for you.

Sources

[1] Calendar Girls - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Sent off in a pasta wrap

Working for my supper

Yesterday was a day back at my former place of work to conduct a handover with my successor who I had only really spoken to before on the phone in an interview I conducted from Lisbon and to have an evening out for my leaving dinner.

I had more cerebral excitation than I expected with my old colleagues than with the guy who succeeded me, I should suppose he was all clued in on what he needed to do, which proves that age-old fact that no one is indispensable.

When the evening came we left for Veri Sapori [1] an Italian restaurant that clearly states on the entrance – we don’t do pizzas – and thank God for that.

Veri Sapori is a well known lunch haunt, not open on Mondays; we sometimes went there for lunch but have never been able to sample the deep Azzurri delights because of time constraints, we only had pasta and that was about to becloud my view of that restaurant as the choice for my leaving dinner.

I resisted the impulsive urge to fire off an email to the arranger to accuse him of lacking imagination and that was one urge I successfully restrained – that restaurant is a different place when you are not pressed for time.

An appetizer for an aperitif

Not all the invited guests could make it to the dinner for all sorts of reasons that were expressed to the arranger rather than I considering I was asked who I wanted to be at the dinner – anyway, we cannot have everyone we want and we are deeply honoured to have the ones that came.

As the eight of us settled down for a sumptuous night, manager asked for an appetizer when he meant an aperitif and that was before we had downed any alcohol, but we all started with a Prosecco.

One of the directors could not stay the whole evening so we decided to dispense with the speeches and gifts before the entrees were served.

What use are scissors for cutting ribbons?

Sometimes, you have no idea of what you have done until when someone does the reckoning at the end of your tenure, the words were gracious, full of praise, admiration and gratitude, I was truly touched.

My first gift was to be something that would keep me in remembrance of where I had worked before – from KaDeWe in Berlin[2], a kilogram of Darjeeling Earl Grey tea – I can imagine with the amount of Earl Grey tea I drink, I probably have an Earl-ish demeanour and I am nigh on looking gray.

It looked like an easy task, I took the wrapping paper off, the ribbon had a bow that was an easy pull, but like all projects, it then had a Gordian knot I could not undo.

We called for a scissors, it was blunter than using a hammer to cut the tape – the right tool in ideal circumstances but too overused to meet the current task. After struggling with the scissors as people looked on expecting the scissors to do its job, I handed it to someone else who proved that the scissors was literally useless, vindicating my experience. A typical project management scenario.

At which point a knife was suggested; like projects, we have the right tool but end up improvising with something else that appears to do the job even though it is suited for something entirely different – basically, take a knife to cut every problem down.

In the end, what should have happened in a snip happened in a long gnawing by the blunt scissors, then I needed a knife to cut the sealing tabs to reveal the bags of sealed Earl Grey tea – definitely, a good supply for a year.

Highly fed and lowly taught

My two colleagues went for the supposed humorous side of my clowning abilities and I was given a mug in which to take my tea – a bit wider in circumference than typical mugs decorated with Shakespearean insults. I could not desire that we be better strangers but I was about to be the anointed sovereign of sighs and groans.

The third present was acquired in Namibia where my manager having ridden altitudes in Ecuador last year was riding the sands of the desert earlier this year. I now have a staff of sovereign authority that allowed me to do a mock rain-dance at the end of the evening.

Then the senior men also presented me with a bottle of Moët & Chandon Brut Impérial champagne in a cask – quite a handful of presents to cart away.

The Berlin connection

Lest I forget, Ich bin ein Berliner [3] – or something to the effect of being a doughnut of sorts like a JFK malapropism, my love of Berlin, known to many was crowned with a book of photographs of Berlin landmarks by Wolfgang Scholvien [4] – it had German, English, Italian and Japanese footnotes – it was quite apt having a German director, we communicating in English in an Italian restaurant sending me off from a Japanese company.

I gave a speech which included the offer to seek therapy for being a sometimes difficult person to deal with, but the words spoken by the people who honoured me could not be bettered.

When our menu selections arrived, there was not a pasta dish in sight but genuine Italian cuisine at its best, washed down – such crudeness – with some of the best of Italian wine.

I did not see the bill but it was wads of crisp cash, [Veri Sapori does not have electronic payment systems] a wonderful night was had by all and at the end, I could only give thanks, express gratitude and be quite moved with the affection shown by people I really did enjoy working with that went back two years and one day – we’ll meet again.

Sources

[1] Italian restaurant Veri Sapori in Amstelveen – Iens.nl

[2] Kaufhaus des Westens - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

[3] Ich bin ein Berliner - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

[4] Wolfgang Scholvien : Photographie : Berlin