Thought Picnic: My perception made me choose South Africa

Probably the blog I wanted to write

When I began to write the blog about the 28 years since I last left Nigeria, I had another blog in mind, but as blogs go in my world, the narrative takes on a life of its own as each idea and construct begins to find attribute and reference to other ideas, events or people, by which time I have digressed to the point of writing an entirely different story.

Blog - My last 4 weeks in Nigeria, 28 years ago (The business angle)

Even as I have a concept I want to write about here, I am beginning to see deviations from the main topic, yet, I would rather let a blog take a freeform than shoehorning it into the strictures of an academic paper, which it is not.

Indeed, I like South Africa

I have just returned to Johannesburg from spending the New Year in Cape Town. It was my intention to visit South Africa for about 3 months, but a number of events concerning my health meant I could not plan so far ahead due to restrictions and advice regarding my medication and a procedure I had in November.

I got quite perturbed about the thoughts of South Africa to the point of self-flagellation, I was already regretting that I had let myself down in realising what had become an earnest desire. Then, whilst I was yet in Germany on a business trip, just 11 days to when I had planned to travel, I made the decision, booked my flights and hotel accommodation, and that was done.

Normally, I would have gone to Gran Canaria for some winter sun, though the last time I had winter warmth and sunshine was when I was out in India in 2011. I spent the Christmas Day visiting the Taj Mahal for the second time and what an experience it was.

No fuss consular services

The choice of South Africa was simple for me, I had been twice before, three years ago and I had a general idea of how to get around. When I travel, holding a British passport confers many privileges to certain countries, I do not have to apply for a visa, fill in odious forms and join incessant queues at consulates or embassies to visit the country, time is precious.

My visit to India for a month-long course was fraught with all sorts of officialdom and difficulty, I had to visit the visa office thrice, paid the higher price because my parents were Nigerian, even though I had lived 21 years without break in Europe, but I was in the Netherlands. Basically, I was not being treated as a European once I was resident outside my home country.

If I were in the UK, the visa would have been issued within 2 days, but living in the Netherlands could have my passport with the Indian visa processors any time from 5 days to 8 weeks. I was beside myself in anxious contemplation, unsure of what would be the case, it was eventually issued within 5 days.

Colonial hangovers that endure

India like Nigeria has a colonial carry-over of an unwieldy civil service, the sector is a leviathan, untamed, unreformed and completely inscrutable. Every requirement from the government institution is laden with red tape and unnecessary paperwork that exacerbates inefficiencies and inconveniences. The system serves prebendalism, neopatrimonialism, corruption, graft and malfeasance with no consequence or recourse for redress.

Though I would like for the need to visit countries to be hassle-free, if not visa-free, I appreciate that the UK and Europe do not necessarily grant the privileges to many of the countries I desire to have easy access to.

I remember when leaving Nigeria, my passport was seized by a heavily pregnant lady for no reason than to attempt to extort money from me. I cannot say I was street-wise enough to appreciate what she required of me as she walked away with my passport with probably the view of distressing me until I came to the kind of senses, she expected me to have.

Thankfully, there was a friend with me who knew how to work the system, and some 30 minutes later I was reunited with my passport after I believe a bribe had been extracted from my friend.

People doing their jobs

When I travel, I have expectations and requirements, I hate the fuss, I like officials to be honest, diligent and forthright, doing their jobs as opposed to doing their bellies and that is why I carefully choose where I want to visit and sadly Nigeria has not appeared on my itinerary because I probably would have cause to turn back at the airport and board a plane back to my home in the UK.

When visiting South Africa, I am not accosted by touts or dealers, there is usually someone to pick me up from the airport to my hotel. No one is trying to inveigle their way into my confidences and burden me with life stories that are no concern of mine.

For good service, I would tip generously and be on my way without getting badgered.

Nigeria is not South Africa

Despite the concerns about xenophobia that have arisen in recent times in South Africa, I have carefully chosen where to stay. In Johannesburg and in Cape Town, these places are conveniently exclusive and offer good quality safety. I am smart enough not to venture out to strange places without escorts and I would use the Gautrain in Gauteng for the major stations and to the airport. Uber always comes to the rescue, to take you anywhere and extricate you from strange places.

I am not of the opinion that Nigeria works that way, you read too much of egregious abuse by officials ready to take advantage of you at every turn from when you access the consular services abroad, through passport control, the customs and the journey to your overpriced hotel which is priced for access rather than for quality.

There is no doubt I have lived too long in Europe to begin the consider the prospect of inconveniences, especially with travel. Yet, I doubt Nigeria would be fixed enough to suit the standard of customer service I have grown accustomed to for almost 30 years.

Nigeria really is not South Africa

Furthermore, it goes without dispute that South Africa on the surface is a more emancipated and organised society, the institutions appear to work, the checks and balances are robust and when tested, they endure. I have my rights, the freedom of will, of beliefs and the kinds of engagement I choose, are protected.

In the months that I was about to leave Nigeria, I was being blackmailed, I refused to pay up and told the blackmailer to do his worst. I guess him having to explain how he came upon the information he planned to use against me kept him guarded. Unusually, I was also ready to have him rumbled if he attempted to besmirch my name. I probably would not have been able to sustain this for a long time, but it worked then.

There are other anxieties that bother me about Nigeria, it comes with a sense of foreboding like that feeling I used to had when I saw our house from the top of our street. A sickening and debilitating gut feeling, almost paralysing in function. I just faced it when it would have been more comforting to flee. I have promised myself, I would never put myself in a situation that appeared to overwhelm my rationality out of purpose, duty, commission or omission.

Yet, on any planned visit to Nigeria, I guess one would have to dare to be a Daniel and just do it. For since my father got on Facebook, each publication of my travel exploits has had him comment asking when I would include Nigeria in my itinerary. If only Nigeria were another place, it just is not and that, I am sorry, is a shame. Perceptions matter always, it would take a lot to change my perception that visiting Nigeria is just as easy as planning to visit South Africa.

Your comments on a postcard. Thank you.

20,000 Nigerians Denied British Visa

Getting a visa in Nigeria

Statistics and numbers sometimes tell stories depending on what kind of derived interpretation one wants to give concerning the data.

I remember some 20 or so years ago when I first had to visit the United Kingdom for business, I was a partner in a printing firm where I managed the new technology aspects of desktop publishing having been involved in major Nigerian legal publications using the same techniques.

The plan was to acquire new computers and peripherals to help grow the business and I had a clear idea of what I wanted to get.

My parents had neglected obtaining my long birth certificate soon after I was born in the U.K., so I had to go through the hurdles of getting my British passport in Nigeria.

I was completely put off by the waiting times to get a British passport, 18 months at the least, but it was the cheapest option and there was no time. So, I applied for a Single entry visa and got that all arranged in just a week.

English, German & French programming

What was interesting was how the conversation went whilst the consulate officer was trying to persuade me to go for the "Certificate of Entitlement to the Right of Abode" (CERA) which was the equivalent of a British citizenship in a Nigerian passport but it did not really appeal to me.

I had enough information to prove why I was visiting the U.K., I had the means for what I wanted to do and had a business I was running in Nigeria, there was no reason for me to get stuck in the U.K. even though I could have claimed the entitlement eventually.

In fact, the interview was more like a discussion when the first question he asked after seeing my job title of Computer Field Engineer was name three computer languages - BASIC, ForTRAN and CoBOL were my answers, he then told me of a so-called Computer Science graduate who gave English, German and French as answers.

I expressed surprise as he shared other funny jokes about pretenders who misrepresented themselves and gotten caught out. Later, I learnt that putting in the postcode of an address wrongly could catch you out so easily, you just needed an A-to-Z of the city in the U.K. and your application ended up in the scrapheap.

Honesty breeds confidence and assurance

Having worked with lawyers, my case was quite complete when I presented the Men of Achievement 1977 in which my father featured, corroborating the fact that he was in the U.K. when I was born and many more things you can derive from that.

Going through Nigerian customs checks was a bit fraught if not nerve-racking when a pregnant customs officer decided to pocket my passport because I had nothing for her - I never understood Nigeria, I doubt if I ever would.

Getting to immigration in England, the immigration official asked about my business and I told him I had come to shop around for computer equipment for desktop publishing. Then he enquired about the application I used for desktop publishing - well, that was Xerox Ventura Publisher with Professional Extension - "You are free to go, Sir", he said, "and enjoy your trip".

How could I have known that you should not be roaming the corridors of Hoddle Promenade North in Peckham Rye Estate at night with ₤5,000 in my pocket, don't worry, nothing happened to me, I met my friend, did what I came to do in England and returned two weeks later with a copy of my long birth certificate and the equipment I came to get.

Opportunities U.K.

I was however, taken aback by the lack of knowledge and understanding of computers in shops, I ended up demonstrating to the shop experts how software worked and sometimes the equipment too, it made me think I did have a strong place in the U.K. market if I did ever decide to emigrate.

When I eventually decided to go for the "Certificate of Entitlement to the Right of Abode" in my Nigerian passport because I just was not waiting 18 months to save 80% of the cost for a British passport, I was asked why I did not take it when it was first offered and well, I did not have the time to wait for it then, however, this time, I did not want to return again and again for a visa to visit where I by rights should be able to visit without let or hindrance.

Again, it ended up a friendly discussion as I expected and all was done within weeks.

Forms, comprehension and tales

I remember soon after settling in England, a number of friends planned a trip to the Netherlands and two of our group had the CERA, so it meant visiting the BeNeLux embassy to get a visa. As we got there, there were so many Nigerians seeking a visa for all sorts of business, we just filled in the simple forms and said we were going for a weekend.

One lady approached us and asked how to fill in the forms, there were no difficult questions in the form from what I could see - Name, Address, Destination and probably the hardest question of all was State Purpose of Visit.

This lady approached the first counter and said she was going to buy cars in the Netherlands but could not provide details of dealerships or necessary funds to conduct such a business, her story was turning into a bit of yarn that the consulate officer asked her step back and think over what she was trying to do.

Hardly, five minutes after that encounter, she was at the adjacent counter saying she only wanted to take a 4-day holiday, so the other consular official popped his head round the counter saying challenging her new story with an utterly perplexed look. Without batting any eyelid she feign total ignorance and said she did not understand anything of the first conversation, my jaw dropped to the floor, but that set the atmosphere in which other Nigerians had to honestly present our applications and be treated at face value. We got our visas the next day.

28% British visa success

But this long story points to a situation related to the matter of statistics I raised at the beginning of this write up, the British High Commissioner to Nigeria, Mr Richard Gozney paid one of those "courtesy calls" on the new Minister of Education and intimated that only 8,000 out of 28,000 visa applications had been granted to Nigerian applicants.

The news report though paints the picture in a headline of a different light - 20,000 Nigerians Denied British Visa - you may read whatever you want into this headline, but was clear why many of the applications failed from the diplomat's comments.

Many applications were improperly filled in or claims could not be properly verified and since the application itself forms the basis of deciding to grant a visa, quite a few would have failed the required threshold of acceptability to proceed to a processing state.

Besides, a few bad-apple applications would have raise the level of scepticism in the vetting process that even border-line but truthful applications would have fallen by the wayside leading to an arduous appeals process and many do eventually make it through.

Dealing with applications seriously

However, the number of those not qualifying for a visa is really very high and much as the Minister of Education entertained the diplomat, he should have expressed great concern about the stringent requirements and at the same time instituted a means to help Nigerians understand the meticulous and thorough preparation that should go into a visa application process.

It is not something to be done in a lackadaisical manner, the typical "idea la need" mentality (a wishy-washy attention to particular detail, sloppiness) is not good enough for such formal settings.

The black sheep destroying honest opportunity

Beyond that, many have applied for student visas and have abused the process such that it makes it difficult for honest Nigerians to state their case as objectively and honestly as they can without resorting to less-principled means.

I know I cannot begin to understand in any detail the travails of visa applications in Nigeria having chucked my Nigerian passport in for a British one within a week of returning from the trip to the Netherlands when because of the passport rather than the content we were held up in France for over an hour almost missing our ferry crossing back to England.

I sent in the application on Tuesday by post and the passport arrived in the post on Saturday hardly 5 days after. Was I impressed? You bet! But that was long ago.