Thought Picnic: Wearing an Incredible Smile to India

Smile!

There probably is a prayer that should cross one’s lips even you are not a spiritual person. “May my face continually light up with a smile and laughter fill my mouth with all the joy that it brings.”

That is the way I felt when I collected my passport this afternoon from the agency that handles visa management for the Indian Embassy in the Netherlands.

As I had written before in a blog about my experiences without directly mentioning India, I am planning on attending courses in India before the year runs out.

It means nowt to them

Now, by holding a British passport, I thought I would be insulated from the bureaucratic insurmountables (sic) of other citizenry but I learnt a good few things in the process.

I do need a visa to visit India, no matter what I want to do there, I do not get treated like a European citizen even though most Indians visiting mainland Europe would in terms get a Schengen visa.

However, what really got to me was the idea that my British citizenship by birth along with a British passport could count for almost nothing if your parents are Nigerian.

Head spinning hoops

Whilst one can appreciate their need of ancestral facts with regards to people of Indian heritage seeking to acquire Indian citizenship, it should really not extend to those whose countries have already processed and affirmed the status of their citizens.

Apart from the hoops that one had to leap through with regards to the right visa to apply for which for me started as a tourist visa, then a business visa until we settled on an entry visa, all of which included 5 visits to 3 different locations trying to ensure all that was required was done, I had to fill in a supplementary form and pay an extra fee predicated on my ancestry.

Of days, months long

Altogether, the processing an entry visa according to the website site could take up to 8 weeks, the filling in of the supplementary form, another 10 days and there was every reason to think one would be marooned in the Netherlands without papers for a good two and a half months – some bordering on the untenable.

I wrote to our consulate about the matter of my citizenship and I did get a reply; something along the lines that it is good to know that this is happening and that it will be forwarded to some department. My response is still in the draft folder; I really could not be bothered any further.

Yearning, waiting, hoping

What I knew I want to happen beyond where I had control to influence things was the abundance of favour spiritual and temporal, there wasn’t much time left and the closer we got to the time, the dearer the flights become.

Each day, I checked the online tracking service not sure of what other status to expect apart from the fact that my application had been sent to the Indian Embassy in The Hague. Late on Friday, the status had changed signifying I should come to collect my passport but no indication as to whether I had been granted the visa.

One did suspect, if the who process took 6 working days, they probably had looked at all the documentation I submitted and decided there was no need to pursue the ancestry issue.

Phew! That was a race

In some cases, I could content I had one of the most complete applications for my type of visa, besides all the documents of self-cognisance and a local government document indicating when I arrived in the Netherlands, the training firm sent a letter of invitation, their certificate of incorporation and their licence to trade with exceptional status.

The visa is like none I have ever seen before; it looks like my passport identity page with machine readable information and my picture with particular detail about my mission – not for the faint-hearted.

Now, I have just a few days to get things ready for a month-long trip which would be intensive training and examinations in readiness for 2012. I had better start packing; at least, I have already been to the pharmacy to replenish my supply my pills.

In all, I am thankfully for how this burdensome process is looking hitch free and putting a smile on my face.

20,000 Nigerians Denied British Visa

Getting a visa in Nigeria

Statistics and numbers sometimes tell stories depending on what kind of derived interpretation one wants to give concerning the data.

I remember some 20 or so years ago when I first had to visit the United Kingdom for business, I was a partner in a printing firm where I managed the new technology aspects of desktop publishing having been involved in major Nigerian legal publications using the same techniques.

The plan was to acquire new computers and peripherals to help grow the business and I had a clear idea of what I wanted to get.

My parents had neglected obtaining my long birth certificate soon after I was born in the U.K., so I had to go through the hurdles of getting my British passport in Nigeria.

I was completely put off by the waiting times to get a British passport, 18 months at the least, but it was the cheapest option and there was no time. So, I applied for a Single entry visa and got that all arranged in just a week.

English, German & French programming

What was interesting was how the conversation went whilst the consulate officer was trying to persuade me to go for the "Certificate of Entitlement to the Right of Abode" (CERA) which was the equivalent of a British citizenship in a Nigerian passport but it did not really appeal to me.

I had enough information to prove why I was visiting the U.K., I had the means for what I wanted to do and had a business I was running in Nigeria, there was no reason for me to get stuck in the U.K. even though I could have claimed the entitlement eventually.

In fact, the interview was more like a discussion when the first question he asked after seeing my job title of Computer Field Engineer was name three computer languages - BASIC, ForTRAN and CoBOL were my answers, he then told me of a so-called Computer Science graduate who gave English, German and French as answers.

I expressed surprise as he shared other funny jokes about pretenders who misrepresented themselves and gotten caught out. Later, I learnt that putting in the postcode of an address wrongly could catch you out so easily, you just needed an A-to-Z of the city in the U.K. and your application ended up in the scrapheap.

Honesty breeds confidence and assurance

Having worked with lawyers, my case was quite complete when I presented the Men of Achievement 1977 in which my father featured, corroborating the fact that he was in the U.K. when I was born and many more things you can derive from that.

Going through Nigerian customs checks was a bit fraught if not nerve-racking when a pregnant customs officer decided to pocket my passport because I had nothing for her - I never understood Nigeria, I doubt if I ever would.

Getting to immigration in England, the immigration official asked about my business and I told him I had come to shop around for computer equipment for desktop publishing. Then he enquired about the application I used for desktop publishing - well, that was Xerox Ventura Publisher with Professional Extension - "You are free to go, Sir", he said, "and enjoy your trip".

How could I have known that you should not be roaming the corridors of Hoddle Promenade North in Peckham Rye Estate at night with ₤5,000 in my pocket, don't worry, nothing happened to me, I met my friend, did what I came to do in England and returned two weeks later with a copy of my long birth certificate and the equipment I came to get.

Opportunities U.K.

I was however, taken aback by the lack of knowledge and understanding of computers in shops, I ended up demonstrating to the shop experts how software worked and sometimes the equipment too, it made me think I did have a strong place in the U.K. market if I did ever decide to emigrate.

When I eventually decided to go for the "Certificate of Entitlement to the Right of Abode" in my Nigerian passport because I just was not waiting 18 months to save 80% of the cost for a British passport, I was asked why I did not take it when it was first offered and well, I did not have the time to wait for it then, however, this time, I did not want to return again and again for a visa to visit where I by rights should be able to visit without let or hindrance.

Again, it ended up a friendly discussion as I expected and all was done within weeks.

Forms, comprehension and tales

I remember soon after settling in England, a number of friends planned a trip to the Netherlands and two of our group had the CERA, so it meant visiting the BeNeLux embassy to get a visa. As we got there, there were so many Nigerians seeking a visa for all sorts of business, we just filled in the simple forms and said we were going for a weekend.

One lady approached us and asked how to fill in the forms, there were no difficult questions in the form from what I could see - Name, Address, Destination and probably the hardest question of all was State Purpose of Visit.

This lady approached the first counter and said she was going to buy cars in the Netherlands but could not provide details of dealerships or necessary funds to conduct such a business, her story was turning into a bit of yarn that the consulate officer asked her step back and think over what she was trying to do.

Hardly, five minutes after that encounter, she was at the adjacent counter saying she only wanted to take a 4-day holiday, so the other consular official popped his head round the counter saying challenging her new story with an utterly perplexed look. Without batting any eyelid she feign total ignorance and said she did not understand anything of the first conversation, my jaw dropped to the floor, but that set the atmosphere in which other Nigerians had to honestly present our applications and be treated at face value. We got our visas the next day.

28% British visa success

But this long story points to a situation related to the matter of statistics I raised at the beginning of this write up, the British High Commissioner to Nigeria, Mr Richard Gozney paid one of those "courtesy calls" on the new Minister of Education and intimated that only 8,000 out of 28,000 visa applications had been granted to Nigerian applicants.

The news report though paints the picture in a headline of a different light - 20,000 Nigerians Denied British Visa - you may read whatever you want into this headline, but was clear why many of the applications failed from the diplomat's comments.

Many applications were improperly filled in or claims could not be properly verified and since the application itself forms the basis of deciding to grant a visa, quite a few would have failed the required threshold of acceptability to proceed to a processing state.

Besides, a few bad-apple applications would have raise the level of scepticism in the vetting process that even border-line but truthful applications would have fallen by the wayside leading to an arduous appeals process and many do eventually make it through.

Dealing with applications seriously

However, the number of those not qualifying for a visa is really very high and much as the Minister of Education entertained the diplomat, he should have expressed great concern about the stringent requirements and at the same time instituted a means to help Nigerians understand the meticulous and thorough preparation that should go into a visa application process.

It is not something to be done in a lackadaisical manner, the typical "idea la need" mentality (a wishy-washy attention to particular detail, sloppiness) is not good enough for such formal settings.

The black sheep destroying honest opportunity

Beyond that, many have applied for student visas and have abused the process such that it makes it difficult for honest Nigerians to state their case as objectively and honestly as they can without resorting to less-principled means.

I know I cannot begin to understand in any detail the travails of visa applications in Nigeria having chucked my Nigerian passport in for a British one within a week of returning from the trip to the Netherlands when because of the passport rather than the content we were held up in France for over an hour almost missing our ferry crossing back to England.

I sent in the application on Tuesday by post and the passport arrived in the post on Saturday hardly 5 days after. Was I impressed? You bet! But that was long ago.