Memory Pain

The Familiar Stranger

As I was walking to work this morning, I had the onset of stomach cramps, the abdominal pain I have written about often, which I have experienced since childhood. I don't know what brings it on, but if I remember correctly, I last had this discomfort 14 months ago.

It is different from what you suffer with food poisoning; after emesis and bowel movement, you are usually alright. The other situation comes after a hot shower; lying on my belly cushioned with a soft pillow makes things subside.

Memory and Recognition

This is memory pain, like a visitor you cannot bar from coming round to your place, it comes with a keen recognition, and the way it begins to tire you out is remarkable. For comfort, I take highly sweetened milky tea. It eases but rarely cures; however, some bed rest helps.

Yet, there is another concern. My tolerance of pain is high. I would endure discomfort for longer than is necessary as I attempt to put the issue out of my mind, even when it is becoming unbearable.

Perspective Through Experience

My reflexes have been schooled by cancer pain; any other kind of pain seems almost insignificant by comparison. I would rarely take analgesics because the pain is not deemed that serious.

Though pain is your body telling you something is wrong that needs addressing, I reckon I can bear it and manage. Do not think I treat the endurance of pain as a sign of machismo; it is more a matter of perspective derived from lived experiences.

Dignity and Humility

Eventually, after completing a change request in the office, I decided to leave for home. Walking back, I banished thoughts and images of me just falling in the middle of the street, writhing in pain. Could one be too dignified for such a humbling by sudden incapacity?

I am grateful for one last thing: regardless of the pain I am suffering, I have never lost my sense of humour or my ability to write about what I am going through.

For now, Akin is indisposed and taking a bed rest, looking towards a speedy recovery with a prompt return to verve and vigour.

Pain through the times

Blog - I remember this tummy ache (October 2007)

Blog - Take away the pain (September 2009)

Blog - Knowing pain is personal (August 2021)

Blog - The pain is a long story (September 2023)

Blog - That unwelcome discomfort from youth came visiting today (November 2024)

A Google NotebookLM AI Podcast on this blog

That unwelcome discomfort from youth came visiting today

A familiar and rotten feeling

To date, I have never had a proper diagnosis, it is something I have suffered from juvenile times that I need to find a stop to. The stomach/abdominal pain that comes in waves with little in terms of relief can continue for up to a day. Usually starting early in the morning and continuing with moments of respite throughout the day.

Blog - I remember this tummy ache – (October 2007)

Blog - The pain is a long story – (September 2023)

It can be exhausting and the most I can do in terms of remedy is lie on my belly cushioned over a soft pillow and drink lots of sweet and milky tea. This might be accompanied by bowel movement or vomiting, which it was today, but it just adds to the discomfort of it all.

The thoughts that ran through my mind as I writhed with pain in my bedroom midmorning without the appetite for any ingestion even of pain relief, I would hate to consider again. I seem to have learnt to endure the pain with the hope it soon subsides.

The need for more rest

As I write this blog, even though I believe the worst of it is over, the muscles of my stomach seem to retain a memory of the suffering I endured with a foreboding that it might creep on me again. Thankfully, the pain associated with my waterworks post-radiotherapy has literally dissipated.

When I lay on the sofa in the living room, I passed the time away with old playbacks on YouTube of The Love Boat and Fantasy Island. Between the grimaces of pain and the comfort that interspersed today's main event, I did not even notice that we had some rain.

I think I’ll be fine for the rest of the day. There was no indicator as to why this ailment took hold today. I am glad it is over, and it is evident that for all the strength that I think I have regained in my first week of recuperation, I really do need as much rest as I can get, and I have not got nearly as much as I need, so far.

The pain is a long story

Take pain in its stride

I am beginning to think my tolerance of pain is unhealthy as I endure agony with a sense of normalcy that should be anything but. At this point, this condition can only be considered congenital; I have had it for as long as I can remember.

It is not chronic enough to be an everyday thing; it comes as an affliction that could last more than a day, for which there is little remedy I know of apart from copious amounts of sweet milky tea and a good bed rest.

From about 3:00 AM this morning, I have suffered waves of stomach/abdominal pain, sometimes it is quite severe, I groan with a scrunched-up face, grabbing hold of my belly or just folding my arms tightly over my midriff, to ease the discomfort.

Probably get this looked into

It usually subsides after a while, and it could be accompanied by a diarrhoeal situation or not, but today, nothing of the sort accompanied it apart from an early afternoon feeling that I was about to develop a fever, and it must have been anxiety rather than reality.

Lying on my back did bring some comfort, and then another wave of pain swept through, almost like I was in an endurance activity. Eventually, I took some paracetamol with codeine in the hope that the waves of pain might be reduced in intensity.

As I wrote about this 16 years ago and every few years this thing returns like with a vengeance, maybe it is just time for have a battery of tests to properly understand why this thing rears its ugly head so inconveniently to my utter discomfort and discomfiture, that I had to cancel meetings than present myself to the scrutiny and concern of others who might think it is a lot more serious than it seems.

Blog - I remember this tummy ache (October 2007)

Blog - Knowing pain is personal (August 2021)