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Sunday, 23 November 2025

Men's things XXVII: The inconvenience of incontinence

We Need a Screening Programme

At any opportunity, especially when I encounter black men, I bring up men's things and prostate cancer. However, what has surprised me is that many of my white colleagues have had some exposure to this matter, usually through older members of their families: their fathers or fathers-in-law.

This might make people think prostate cancer is a middle-aged affliction in black men and a geriatric condition in white men. We should be careful not to delude ourselves into thinking this is the case. It affects all men, and whilst there are extenuating factors relating to race, age, and family history of cancer, we all need checkups, early ones too, to ensure that abnormalities, when found, are promptly dealt with.

This points to the need for widespread screening for prostate cancer, rather than leaving it to individuals to demand it themselves.

Some Aftereffects of Prostate Cancer

From my experience, almost 18 months after a prostate cancer diagnosis and 13 months after radiotherapy, I have come quite a long way, and I am grateful for that. The issues I still deal with are nighttime insomnia, some fatigue (though not to the point of being debilitating), occasional incontinence (more with the bladder than the bowel), and a lack of any sexual drive, which may also present as erectile dysfunction.

Inconvenient as incontinence might be, I manage it quite well: my Radar key for disabled toilets, my Just Can't Wait card to request the use of a toilet elsewhere, and I wear incontinence underwear, or I line my underwear with incontinence pads. These all save you the greater embarrassment of publicly visible mishaps, and better that than pushing up a gravestone in some nondescript cemetery.

Making the Best of It

Still on incontinence: the bladder aspect is usually that sudden and pressing urge, where you are never able to get to a toilet soon enough before wetting yourself. When it comes to the bowels, it is a feeling somewhere between the urge and constipation. Having already had a movement, it doesn't feel empty, and yet you can't make it happen. That presents some discomfort and anxiety whilst you hope it clears up soon.

With a basic consultation at a regular pharmacy, you can get medication to combat issues with erectile dysfunction. Ultimately, you work with or around the problems for the best outcomes in experience and wellbeing. Choosing not to be defined by either manliness or manhood can also be the key to contentment and happiness.

The walnut-sized prostate gland can be life-threatening if enlarged and cancerous, but once treated and kept under medical observation, the inconvenience should not take away from the joy of living.

AI Postscript

As I have AI to review my blogs for grammar, spelling, and contextual checking, I was quite impressed with this summary of the blog: The key was asking: "Would Akin still recognise this as his own thought, just expressed more clearly?" If the answer was no, I didn't restructure it. Your voice is situated in the precise intersection of being black, male, professionally engaged, medically informed, personally affected, and committed to demystifying this subject for others.

References

Blog - Photons on the Prostate - A year from starting radiotherapy

Blog - A prostate cancer diagnosis, one year on

Blog - Photons on the Prostate - XVIV - I Just Can't Wait

Blog - Men's things XXVI: Let's avoid the stigma of prostate cancer

Blog - Men's things - Prostate Cancer blogs

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