But for the joy of being an antelope

Hours of waiting and waiting

In 5 weeks of events that was somewhat out of my control dictated by my apparent susceptibility to a water-borne infection, it started with my boyfriend noticing in a conversation that I was not particularly myself.

Against my protestations, he contacted my best friend and then a close friend in Manchester, between them, they decided I needed emergency hospital attention that led to an ambulance being called. We were assured the ambulance would arrive in 2 hours whilst the numbing discomfort like a tyre around my waist left me almost slipping into a kind of delirium without passing out.

Over 5 hours after the call for ambulance services, the medics arrived and after checking my vitals decided I was best attended to in a hospital. A GP had called me to assess my condition and her view was I probably needed to be in a hospital. At the hospital, I was immediately seen to and a cannula inserted to my arm. There was another almost 6-hour wait from a doctor could attend to me. I was up all night, arriving at 11:25PM until just before 6:00AM.

Not ill enough to be promptly seen

Sat in the waiting area, we watched the walking wounded arrive and because I seemed to be comfortable sitting down, my situation was not considered an emergency. A patient walked in spilling blood all over the floor and it took over 2 hours before the contract cleaner nonchalantly considered it important to clean up. He ignored the issue concentrating on other mundane things as if he was only going to clean the floor at a scheduled time, regardless of whether the blood on the floor constituted a health hazard.

On seeing the doctor, I was admitted and placed in an assessment room where I was given broad spectrum antibiotics and electrolytes, the prognosis at the time was for a few days of treatment as an in-patient.

Discharged with pills

During my 8-hour admission, I found myself recounting my condition to a doctor, a medical student, and a consultant. Eventually, it was decided I could be discharged with additional antibiotics to be taken 4 times a day, to return on Saturday for a check-up where again, I was put on electrolytes because I had basically lost my strength.

For what seemed a benign condition, the recovery was much longer than I could have anticipated, it took weeks to begin to regain my strength during which I lost about 6 kilograms. My GP ordered new blood tests and an ultrasound scan of my kidneys.

Persistent irritation reviewed again

Meanwhile, what was diagnosed as both an inflammation of my kidneys and a urinary tract infection did not seem to deal with the urinary tract issue. This prompted my visit to a sexual health clinic and another regime of antibiotics for non-specific urethritis, this cleared up the problem whilst no further diagnosis was made.

My recuperation has made considerable progress that for my scheduled ultrasound scan today, I decided to walk up to the hospital, something that would not have been eventful. I walked past a man too engrossed in viewing his mobile phone to concerned about others as he slightly obstructed access to the traffic lights on the pavement. I crossed the road not giving to much thought to it.

A few minutes later, he was in a chase of a thief who had snatched his mobile phone and made away on a bicycle. There was nothing he could do but rue the moment and carry on with the rest of the day, I guess he was a university student.

Steak and kidney not on the menu

I arrived at the hospital early and unusually I was immediately called into the examination room and prepared for the sonographer. The cold gel applied to my stomach gave a slight shock to my system and then I adjusted to the coolness. The sonographer was not giving up anything as I asked whether my kidneys were good enough for a steak and kidney pie. The results of the scan are to come from a consultant rather than the sonographer.

We were done in about 15 minutes before I made for the reception to have the spelling of my surname corrected. In Yoruba, what would normally have translated to ‘being a hero is joy enough’ what the switching of the vowels in the 3^rd and 4^th syllable, became ‘this hero is just an antelope’. That won’t do.

After my hospital appointment, I walked back home on the main road, stopping off at a Starbucks café for about 45 minutes. I guess the results would be back in a couple of weeks, but as the three blood tests, after my admission indicated nothing unusual, I should expect things would be fine in the end. Much of this was made easier to withstand by my friends and I am grateful to them.

Hospital: Gasping for breath on an ultrasound scan

Gasping and rasping

“Breathe in and hold your breath.” She said the second time and she must have forgotten to say I could breathe out. As a reflex, I took a sharp intake of breath, an indication of a number of things that I need to address.

Firstly, I do need oxygen more than I need to expel carbon dioxide and it was a sign of my being unfit that I could not hold my breath for as long as might be ordinarily expected. My morning walks do not seem to be enough exercise over the last couple of weeks.

Having returned from Edinburgh late on Friday night, I had an appointment for an abdominal scan on Saturday morning, quite a fortuitous appointment that would normally have been on a weekday. After my check-up in March that had me noticing that my last liver scan also included scans of my pancreas and gallbladder, the consultant suggested a review.

Scans of the innards

Going from the major cyber-attack that affected the NHS amongst other institutions and companies on Friday in about 99 countries, I was concerned my appointment might be cancelled, but on seeing nothing of significance on the hospital website or getting any notices by SMS text, I hoped for the best and arrived on time for the appointment.

Having an ultrasound scan [NHS] rather than an X-ray [NHS], a CT scan [NHS] or an MRI scan has many advantages, the preparation is less cumbersome and the side effects are minimal apart from the possibility that the high-frequency soundwaves might heat up tissue and cause air bubbles, but it has not been considered a serious risk. Ultrasound is also quite well-suited to reviewing soft tissue, though the most common application of this is viewing the foetus in the womb.

However, in preparation for the scan, I could not eat at least 6 hours before the scan and whilst I could drink water, I was to avoid carbonated drinks, milk or fatty foods before the scan. Having the scan in the morning meant I did not have to go hungry for long. I was to wear loose clothing too.

Gels for the cells

Soon after I was registered I was called into another waiting room where a few minutes later I nurse called me into the examination room. I took off my jackets and laid on the bed pulling up my shirt and my vest, in eventually had to take off my shirt. Lying on my back, she applied a gel to my belly which was pleasantly warm, warmed by the instruments in the room, I suppose and different from the cold shock I had some two years before.

The handheld probe was then put against my skin and she began to move it around, clicking on the keyboard at intervals, possibly taking snapshots. I must say, there was a bit of pressure applied and for my somewhat weak ribcage, it felt uncomfortable but not painful. When I had to turn on my side, more gel was applied, this time, a bit cold and this was where I had to breathe in and hold my breath for probably over a minute before respite.

Done and gone

The whole activity took about 15-minutes and though I knew not to ask her medical opinion, she volunteered that there were no radical changes to my gallbladder from what was observed two years ago. I will return in just under two weeks to see my consultant for the medical opinion.

Apparently, the hospital was not affected by the ransomware attack because the moment they learnt of the attack all ingress traffic to the hospital was blocked and technically, they isolated themselves from the world.

I guess I was in the hospital for just about 30 minutes before I left to do some shopping for ethnic goods and returned home to catch up on some much-needed sleep. I had not slept that well overnight, maybe out of excitement or anxiety and I had to rested well enough for my early journey back to Edinburgh today.

From measuring liver stiffness to stiffneckedness

Probed from the side

Please pull up your shirt, lie with your back on the bed, then have one arm down your side and the other up and folded with your lower arm under your head and hand down the middle of your back as much as you can stretch.

I was arched like this for just over 10 minutes when a cold gel was applied to my right ribcage and then a pulsing probe pressed again the gap between my ribs to take measurements, 10 of which were successful out of 14.

In another age, this would have been a more intrusive and uncomfortable invasive procedure requiring a biopsy of my liver.

Another amazing gadget

The liver is a big deal in human anatomy and it is presumed to perform close to 500 functions, its critical need within the body cannot be overestimated and yet we abuse it with excess and other vices. It is quite resilient, but it can only do so much.

My visit to the hospital was for a FibroScan, a non-invasive means of measuring liver fibrosis or stiffness. The FibroScan [Wikipedia] is new technology and extensive study indicates it is literally as good as having a liver biopsy whilst covering more area of analysis than a biopsy will offer.

In the end, the only discomfort I had was in the application of the cold gel and the stretching, I did consider having a conversation whilst being probed, but I thought the better of it.

Comfortable and comforted

The letter fixing this appointment is better worded than the original one that invited me to attend a clinic and I was not to have taken any food for at least two hours before the FibroScan. This compared to when I had an ultrasound scan of my liver to check for scarring some 19 months ago which required I had not ingested anything for almost 6 hours.

At the end of the session, I asked the nurse for a basic opinion and she said things looked good, I also asked for explanations of the readings before she wrote them down for me to conduct further research.

Within a healthy range

When I checked the kPa reading against the Liver Fibrosis card; for my condition and health, I found that I was well within the green range, which for me means, any considered deterioration in my liver function can be arrested and even reversed with the right treatment.

The kPa (kilopascal) which is 1,000 pascals is a multiple of the International Standard of Units measurement for pressure.

Before going for these tests, I was not sure of what to expect, but I am happy that on moving my treatment to another hospital, they are keen on learning things first-hand than relying on the aging reports from my other medical interventions.

Now looking forward to the next appointment. Meanwhile, you wonder if there is an instrument for measuring stiffneckedness or headstrongness.

Hospital: Hepatic scrutiny

Situation to woman

I could remember the day I had a deep biopsy almost 4 years ago when the consultant dermatologist asked one of his understudies to probe the fungating cancer tumours in the ball of my foot and the second toe of my left foot.

The pain was already unbearable and otherworldly as the woman flooded my foot with injections of Lidocaine to no effect. After seven shots, I could still feel the raw pain of cancer, excruciating beyond what words could describe, but the biopsy had to be done.

So I laid on the gurney, a nurse holding one hand as if I was enacting a sketch of a woman in labour, she asked me to take deep breaths, though I did not have to push, I did ask for an epidural but none was offered.

In the end, I had some tissue folded into a big pad and put that between my jaws for the firmest bite force I could muster and gave in to the worst of the biopsy, which ended after 10 minutes.

Situation to ponder

I was in pain for another hour after that, it was one of the worst experiences I ever had in my life, but it was necessary to ascertain the type of cancer I had for them to determine the course of treatment.

Today, I was to have another experience that could easily have been happening to the other gender as I wondered aloud if it would be healthy and speculated about its gender, then remembered we do not gestate.

Before I knew it, someone was congratulating my wife and I; that left me in a rather tight corner before I stuttered my thanks and moved on swiftly ere I had to divulge too much about my warped thinking and complicated relationship arrangements or the lack of them.

Situation of liver

I was to have an ultrasound liver scan, and I really was not expecting a foetus to be kicking and grimacing in my belly.

Preparations for that meant drinking lots of water to have a full bladder and no food for at least 6 hours before the scan. I find water tasteless that I only got half of the two litres I was supposed to drink into my system.

I registered, and within minutes, the sonographer called my name, took me into a consulting room and then asked me to take my shirt off, sag my trousers before lying on the bed.

She applied some jelly to my belly and used the probe to rub it all over the exposed parts of my abdomen before I had to take a series of long deep breaths that I held for almost a minute before I was allowed to breathe normally again.

Situation is good

I could not see the scans as they allow women to see the ultrasound scans of their life foetuses, however, we did come up with the idea of projecting the scans onto the ceiling to keep patients entertained but that might not be possible under the NHS.

Turning onto my side, my arms raised above my head, she did more scans until she declared that my liver looks fine. Over time, I will continue to have blood tests and possible biannual scans – great relief and thankfulness, one cannot afford another major event for this day.