On the gospel of flight

Board and preach

I was amused to find an event on my Twitter timeline a few days ago, a 25-second clip of a man in old-time religion garb waving a bible and preaching the gospel on an aeroplane. From indications on the screens at the back of the seats, it would appear the aircraft was just being boarded at that time.

Can he be deplaned at 35,000ft?
Angels shall bear him up in their hands lest he dash his head against a cloud. https://t.co/U1dqgxIlKQ

— Akin Akíntáyọ̀ 🏳️‍🌈 #FBPE (@forakin) February 16, 2020

However, ignoring that piece of evidence, in a fit of pique, I suggested with a twist in the scriptural phrase the following: “Can he be deplaned at 35,000ft? Angels shall bear him up in their hands lest he dash his head against a cloud.” Some did see the humorous side of it, but others took it literally and assumed my comment was both intolerant and violent.

I now remember that I did use a similar suggestion in a blog I wrote almost 13 years ago.

Blog - Eurovision: At 35,000ft - Cabin crew open doors

Preach the bus

In the interest of full disclosure, I am a culprit too. In the 1980s, I felt compelled to preach the gospel to all and sundry. With my clearly non-Nigerian accent, I would raise my voice in commercial transport to deliver my perspective of the gospel without scaring the listeners.

On the Lagos State Transport Corporation (LSTC) buses, I could stand near the front and face everyone to preach until a bylaw was promulgated to stop preaching on those buses at the risk of arrest. Whilst the audience might have been irritated, no one remonstrated probably out of fear of being thought anti-religious in a rather hyper-religious society.

However, with hindsight, regardless of how compelled I felt to preach the gospel and the presumed onslaught of officialdom to curtail a ‘divine’ commandment, I was an irritation and an encumbrance on the personal space and peace of other hapless passengers who probably after a hectic day didn’t need a bible thumper to assault them. Yet, preachers didn’t rise to sell salvation, purveyors of snake oil remedies had goods to sell with humour and encouragement better than preachers succeeded in their aims.

Outreach to each

Back to the preacher on the plane, everything suggests this was the wrongest place in too many respects to wave a bible around in too many respects. For when the plane is boarding, the crew are probably a bit stressed trying to get everyone to their seats, just as passengers are trying to get their carry-on luggage into the overheads bin whilst trying to make way for others to pass on to their seats.

I travelled about 100,000 kilometres last year, some door-to-door journeys including stopovers lasted about 28 hours. The last thing I need on the 2^nd or 3^rd leg of my journey, one of which could last 11 hours, is someone flailing the gospel with foreboding to my hearing.

Breach the peace

Besides, I would not be surprised if certain passengers became uncomfortable to the point of distress and insisted the preacher be taken off the plane out of fear that the preacher is a religious extremist up to no good. They would be right to demand it and the captain might have no other choice. We don’t take suspicious behaviour for granted when flying anymore.

If this happened after the flight had taken off, I would think the preacher would be advised to sit down and fasten his seat belt out of consideration for safety for himself and the other passengers. If that instruction were ignored, the plane could return to the airport to have him taken off as a public disturbance and he will be charged accordingly.

Yet, societies differ in responses to this kind of behaviour. I was not sure if I was amused or intrigued when I saw a preacher on the London Underground, I rationalised, if buskers did get away with it, the preacher though he had licence too.

Impeach the speech

My use of “Angels shall bear him up in their hands lest he dash his head against a cloud.” Could be termed a modern variation of “In their hands they shall bear you up, Lest you dash your foot against a stone.” Psalm 91:12 (KJV)

According to the narrative of the temptation of Jesus Christ, the Devil asked him to throw himself down from a height and quoted Scripture to suggest God will command angels to save him from harm. In my usage, the intention was as the preacher would be a man of faith, if he were taken off the plane at any height, the angels bear him up safer than a parachute to land safely on terra firma.

I had no doubt about this even if there were some expected the worst to happen. All said and done, if you are arrested by the urge to rise to preach the gospel on a plane, I most candid advice would be – Don’t do it! Thank you.

Opinion: Religious Soakaways of Talent Needed Elsewhere

Lurch from church to church

As I made for church this morning, I could not help but notice that hardly beyond my temporary abode, I could count 5 churches within the space of 50 yards.

This was no church district like some industrial or a Business Park, but a non-descript residential area with a few corner shops and a prominent fast food restaurant, to allow a liberty of description I rarely give to those places and a busy street running into a junction.

Whilst, each church had some highfalutin spiritual name, with a few of the usual suspects headed by some Nigerian folk, I could not but wonder about the variance in doctrine, dogma, diktat and culture that precipitated the deluge of mushroom churches all around London in grand buildings, converted garages, school halls or strange shelters that we so need that many.

Why this many?

Now, the revelations of Scripture might vary as one might see the dispersion of light through a prism depending on the angle of observation, but is the perspective so different that each person who seems to have the hunch must have their own church and following?

More so, I am concerned about the brain drain that this spate of churches has brought on society, I am of the opinion that many who eventually decide to enter some religious ministry is of probably some other more useful talent and ability, a professional with a different first vocation that probably has had a lot more to contribute to their field of expertise before they withdrew their services for this venture for souls.

I make bold to say that leaders of these outfits do have innate abilities of study, research, standards, articulation and communication that the wider society can so benefit from that we are now missing.

Talent at the pulpit

Academics with knowledge and perspective able to mentor impressionable young minds to excellence and genius, sometimes they could also be the level heads in dispute resolution, all withdrawn from our sadly moribund institutions that education is failing graduands at all levels.

Medical practitioners with skills that our hospitals need, considering how someone opined recently though without reference that a church in Nigeria had produced more pastors than Nigeria had produced doctors since independence.

I cannot corroborate that assertion, but when we read of health statistics and outcomes in our medical establishments that look like a published account of the road to a hellish existence, you wonder why good doctors are not in hospitals but in churches.

Skill to the versed

Engineers that we need for projects for growth and development such that me might not need foreign expertise to man the simplest activities; the engineers with their sense of precision, attention to detail and particularity have left our buildings, bridges, roads and infrastructure in the hands of others either overburdened or ignorant of what to do, some of our best engineers are building spiritual bridges to heaven.

Accountants with an eye on the figures, the costs, the budgets, gatekeepers on the judicious use of capital by reason of checks and audits, besides the ethical and principled perspective these career migrants could bring now totting up the accounts on God’s bank account in the church.

This is not to say that professions are not well manned, but we cannot ignore what has become the religious soakaway of talent where people who have a calling and gift for the society and the communities they exist in have deserted this great calling and crowded into the religious business.

Fishing for gold

This should also be bothersome because many of these crossover professionals to religion do not have formal seminary training apart from adapting the fundamentals of their profession to religious ends.

It is understandable that many professions do not offer great financial reward as it does seem that churches with the crowds that can attract depending of the charisma and the spectacular draw of the leader can become a banking breaking venture with returns that make the eyes water.

Peddling promises like croupiers in the casino of God, the followers are inspired by good talk to gamble on the assurance of better returns than any monetary system can offer, the spectre of hope dangled in sight but just a bit out of reach to keep the lure engaging enough with it being attainable.

Absent accountability

The mushroom churches also appear to have leaders that belong to no formal or established religious hierarchy, they have absented themselves from oversight of independent authority or have extricated themselves by schism from their mother congregations that they are no more accountable to any church organisation, authority or the flock that they oversee, they metamorphose from men of God to gods of men and with that comes error and more opprobrium upon the whole institution of Christianity because there is no order.

We need to get some talcum powder and antihistamine for our itching ears, our desire to seek out those who make us too comfortable to check ourselves or our leadership on the core principles of the faiths we have espoused that we become lobotomised flock conferring infallibility on our leadership excusing every indefensible thing out of dread, shame or embarrassment.

Shut these places down

It goes without need for much reason that these churches or religious establishments will first become lightning rods for public criticism and before long politicians might get interested and it would be a great pleasure to see these mushroom churches exterminated like vermin for they have become a pestilence giving haven to duplicitous leadership that act with impunity without consequence.

Let us reason about what this means for us as individuals, the way we congregate and the people we allow to hold sway in leadership over us with question or curiosity – it is an unhealthy state of affairs and repugnant beyond words.

London: A Preacher on the Tube?

Smart changes

Having learnt that the changeover from the Hammersmith & City line to the District line to the East was literally an interminable walk at Barking Station, I was minded to get off just before Barking.

I decided to change at West Ham and took a seat, to wait for the District line tube to arrive. I have also noticed that some people take up the priority seating places for the slightly incapable though on most occasions those seats have been vacated for me since I do use a cane.

At other times, I have demanded the use of priority seating if it is obvious that the occupier does not require it.

The voice of a preacher man

So, getting on the tube at West Ham, I had hardly settled into my seat when a man decided to introduce himself. I was quite taken aback, I have not seen people preach on public transport for decades and that was in Nigeria. I can even remember sharing a garbled message of the gospel with my accent so out of place in Nigeria, people probably listened – my accent being a cross between English and Nigerian influences is indicative of the fact that it is not being put on for effect.

The message started with questions about life and death, the possibilities of paradise and judgement amongst other trains of thought that seemed to begin to lack any form of coherence – I live-tweeted the event surmising that someone might soon tell the preacher man to be quiet in a not so polite manner.

The audience was captive, many were returning from church and could well identify as Nigerian – not that it mattered to me between his saying aks for ask and with an accent that was as unnaturally regional to any known speaking it was just a matter of time.

Put on my shiny black shoes

Then a man took on the preacher, and excoriated him for wearing shiny black shoes, looking really dapper and having a designer bag slung over his shoulder – in the assailant’s view, this rather ostentatious look was distracting especially to women whom he believed would be enticed by the looks of the preacher thereby distracting them from the gospel.

In what looked like a sign of displeasure, turning into an argument ready to erupt into a shouting match, the preacher kept his calm as he tried to reason with the assailant – the message of the gospel had been derailed as other Christians on that coach began to voice their displeasure that the assailant who was now determined to have his say and allow no further preaching to continue until he was ready to disembark

In some ways, the assailant was probably Christian but whatever legalistic teaching he might have been subjected to would undoubtedly have been of the see not, read not, say not, touch not, wear not, appear not, walk not, seat not variety that it would have made Levitical laws look utterly tame.

Eventually, the assailant disembarked where the preacher would also have wanted to get off but the preacher stayed on the tube to wrap up his message with some encouraging words before stepping off at the next stop.

Your freedom versus my freedom

In one of those Twitter exchanges, someone advocated the freedom of worship and religion which is all fine and well in the places of assembly where such adherents decide to congregate, the London Underground is, however, a public space and it is illegal to preach in such an environment without a licence because it disturbs the peace and the people’s right to be free of such influence is infringed upon by another exercising their supposed rights.

Interestingly, I observed on my way to church this morning that the tube driver was a Sikh. We are to find ways to co-exist with practitioners of other religions and no matter how compelling the Great Commission we must be more intelligent and innovative about how we share the good news without daring the law to put us in uncomfortable situations.

Much of what can be tolerated in many religious countries will not necessarily find the law so sympathetic if any of the passengers had decided to call the London Transport Police to report a breach of the peace.