Fathers for the laws of human gravity

Gravity rules again

I was standing in the bathtub having a hot wash being supervised by my father when he approached me and felt that undercarriage in what I soon learnt was to determine if my balls had descended. I believe I was around 7 years old and that might have been the only time I think my dad took interest in my sexual health and probably allayed of the fears that the boy who barely fit in the palm of his hands at birth, might well, grow up to be a man.

In the news, there is some alarm, as a doctor has found that phthalates are causing human babies to be born with deformed genitals. That would suggest it is not enough to check that the balls have descended, but to ascertain that there is an appendage, it has some function of endowment and the absence of deformity, after which we need to address the matter of low sperm counts. [Sky News: Human penises are shrinking because of pollution, warns scientist]

It is a serious problem

The question is what we are going to do about this existential crisis, whether we are going to allow this to become an evolutionary process of the decline of reproductive health leading to a possible extinction of the human race in the worst-case scenario, or begin to act decisively to tackle all forms of global pollution, global warming and a refocusing of reproductive health from the regulation and abuse of female genitalia, their sexual expression, and the decision matrix around birth rate and abortion.

Meanwhile for the babies who have presented the issues observed in Dr Shanna Shaw’s report, there opens a possible new branch of genitourinary medicine with an essential component of plastic surgery as pioneered by André van der Merwe, otherwise known as Dr Dick, from South Africa where the aesthetic and reparative will include the corrective and interventionist to ensure that the demonstration of certain prowess is maintained and probably enhanced for these unfortunate people afflicted innocently by the world they have been born into.

Blog: Hello Dr Dick, my friends need a ...

Get interested and involved

The medical profession having highlighted an issue that should engage us all, engendering activism, informing policy, should fully persuade politicians locally and globally to act in the interests of humanity.

Fathers and the male folk whilst on the one hand feeling for irregularities that presage prostate or testicular cancer might as well be ready to be involved enough to be fully interested in the development of their scions to observe the forces of gravity and the thriving of the organs of reproductivity.

Decade Blogs - Tolu Oloruntoba - Royalties at the end of a river

Decade Blogs

In Royalties, for my decade of blogging, Tolu Oloruntoba looks at a source of constant conflict in Nigeria from the history linked to an explorer who perished far from home to those who for exploitation perish in their own lands.

Blog - To Celebrate My Decade of Blogging

We are left with questions about rights; the rights of ownership in conflict with the rights to exploit without which the resource is a meaningless deposit with much potential yet undiscovered or wasted, so is the capacity we have to express our thoughts, some written and others left unknown how do you determine the royalties between expression and silence?.

Tolu Oloruntoba uses the Twitter handle @ToluOloruntoba, I guess his royalty check is in the post. Thank you.

Who owns the oil river
and the carbonaceous secrets of the Delta?
Why, the guys upriver, of course,
in silenced Sahara marshes,
saving in these banks for others to take;
Adamawas eaten by the river rising, oily;
And poor old Mungo,
at the end of his Niger at last,
in disillusioned increments we cremate, in pistons,
with forgotten insurrections and dynasties,
hunters, hunted, fishers and fish
writing themselves into strata of future,
beneath our feet.
You didn’t know?
It ends in fire.

Postscript

1. Geography teaches us about the millennia of deposits it really takes to create crude oil, thousands of feet down. Who, then, in our case, should really get Nigerian oil royalties? The Niger Delta, Federal Government, or all the highlands and places bypassed and collected from? At any rate, crude oil, like most other fossil fuels, is a legacy of bygone eras. Those who left it to us are long gone. It’s a pity we have to be so human in our squabbles to share it. One also wonders what we are laying down now, and what will be left of us, millennia hence.

2. Mungo Park, the Scottish explorer who died seeking the source of the Niger, is buried at Jebba. One can imagine how the circle of life would have brought him, eventually, to the end of his tragically shortened journey.

3. I have followed Uncle Akin’s blog for at least five of his last ten years of blogging. Here’s to many more, if only (we’re selfish, I know) to enjoy his sensitivity, cracking wit and depth of conviction. It has been an honour to glean from his uniquely fertile mind, and be moved by his thoughts, sense of justice, and bravery in the face of truth, triumph or tragedy. We cannot pay him enough, in glowing words or royalties J, for the bolstering of our conscience, and deposits into our soul.