The seriously unfunny Kiwi parliament

Kiwis have lost flight

It is a bird and it cannot fly, no, it does not have a big backside and it is not extinct like the dodo. It belongs to a distant group of islands that are fast losing their sense of humour that is if they ever had any humour at all. It is the land of the kiwi and the humanoid Kiwis are beginning to look like birds that cannot fly.

All that feet stamping and making funny faces when the players of their most popular sport meet with other nations leaves me almost ready to laugh but I am not impressed at all, the haka is no more a challenge and hardly a dare anymore.

Can't say this of politicians

Why are the kiwis at this end of a mild vituperation? Because their representatives, politicians who have become too much of themselves to be spoken about have promulgated a law that bans political satire - or rather politicians in parliament can no more be butts of jokes or elements in a satirical commentary.

As it stands, broadcasters or anyone else to cannot use footage of the chamber for "satire, ridicule or denigration", rather than get creative with satirising parliament, we must now watch a live feed on television of Kiwi members of parliament in ridiculous states of debate and appearance doing everything to denigrate themselves and abrogate whole free enterprise of democracy.

Democratic death throes

For a once lively democracy to arrogate to themselves the equivalent of lèse majesté laws beggars belief and it would definitely encourage despotic rulers pretending to lead democracies to enact even worse laws of sedition and stifle the freedom of the press. A democracy without satire might as well be an autocracy.

When men have lost the ability to laugh at themselves or cannot abide the occasional snigger and would be offended by a guffaw at their expense, they have definitely lost the will to enjoy life, if not the will to live.

Bad news from NZ

But New Zealand is now in the news and this new law is an excellent way of designating it a backwater in the middle of nowhere which probably is in the Southern Hemisphere.

Americans might know New Zealand for being the land where the Lord of the Rings was filmed, it is definitely now below middle-earth and the orcs have laid siege on parliament with tyranny - what can one say than for God to save the sheep from murderous laws.

Not at any cost

Swallow your dog food

Kenya had declared a national disaster by reason of the fact that the rains had failed and hence a poor harvest and the consequences of hunger and deprivation have ensued.

Down in some faraway land (New Zealand) a food company run by a motherly lady who sprinkles nutrients on her porridge every morning offers to send 42 tons of those nutrients to feed the probably starving children of Kenya.

The offer is rejected with derisive comments as perception overrides reality in the quest to maintain dignity and pride – we are only human.

Aid on Trotters

Then in Palestine, Hamas prepares to take on the mantle of leadership which we must agree is well deserved because they have to-date been benefactors of their people a lot better than the erstwhile Fatah movement.

The West threatens to withhold aid because there is another facet of Hamas which exercises an uneasy ceasefire in attacking Israel that it wants to obliterate in favour of a Greater Palestine.

The curse of democracy means they have a mandate to run and if the West who so willingly enjoys trotters and the other parts withhold aid, other trotter-haters of the Middle-East might just step in and completely undermine any little influence the West might have in Israel-Palestine crisis.

Babe and Scooby

This shrill singing from the West does not seem to faze Hamas who might eventually moderate their views about Israel for the sake of peace and progress as the two-state solution betweens to saunter down the crooked roadmap

However, there is concern that the powder mix which when mixed with water forms a paste that could well rival the gourmet quality of Pedigree Chum might be construed as dog food even though the recipe has been modified for humans.

Pride or Prejudice

As Kenya swallows their prejudice and Hamas moderates their pride in an exchange of sentiments; it is hopeful that the West consider the Hamas social record of prudence, efficiency and service to the needy Palestinians and our dear lady of Mighty Mix dog biscuits rephrase her offer without the mention of dog

Kenya might then not bark at such a tainted but useful if not essential gift and Hamas might grunt as they recognise Israel and elevate the standard of living of their people.

Without prejudice

No offence is intended with regards to analogies appearing in this piece. The import is to illustrate agreement and strong disagreement as donors’ intentions and misunderstanding contrasts with recipients’ requirements and the maintenance of their dignity.

Reference

BBC NEWS | Africa | Kenya rejects aid of 'dog food'

BBC NEWS | Middle East | Hamas rejects 'unfair' aid demand