The Spectre of Christmas Parties
Christmas parties are a genre I would
rather not be part of, having attended two such events in the 1990s. Both were
experiences I would prefer to forget, with recollections close to reliving a
nightmare. Part of me would say I would never have been found in the company of
those I was with, but for the circumstances enabling it.
In the first instance, we attended a
tavern close to Tower Hill. It was themed as a medieval banquet, complete with
all the excesses of drink and meat, along with the bawdiness that chose to
disrespect the waitresses as part of the entertainment. My verdict: never
again.
A Sobering Experience
Then, in a swanky hotel in the West
End, when I moved to another company, the alcohol flowed freely. I had the
unfortunate situation of being the only sober man, apart from the drivers, for
probably ten miles.
I learnt a great deal from my
colleagues that evening. The setting, I later discovered, served as the
consummation of an illicit affair between married people. It was full-blown
adultery, and I knew nothing about it at the time.
My manager, full of drink and many
words, took to whispering in my ear about how much he liked me, the work I did,
and many other things that would have left me more red-faced than a ripe
beetroot. I kept what he said close to my chest. At least I knew I enjoyed a
lot of favour and liking from my boss; for a contractor, it also meant someone
was fighting your corner.
The Art of Absence
From then on, I mostly absented myself
from such gatherings. I couldn't make it, I was on holiday, or I found an
occupation that could pass for an excuse.
Three such parties came on my calendar
this year. The first was an invitation to participants on a project we finally
got over the line last month. They all came from the provinces into Manchester
and totally went to town. After dinner, I was ready to go home whilst they were
off to a pub and much else.
One of them was inviting others to a
party at 4:30 AM. Even as a night-time insomniac, that was well past my
bedtime. I was home just after 11:00 PM to take my medication and snuggle up in
bed, not knowing that the paracetamol I needed to relieve a headache was
bedside too.
Corporate Miserliness
The other, arranged by our management,
was a thesis to the Ebenezer Scrooge School of Economics. We were required to
bring items in to share when such a season of goodwill, where much was demanded
of us outside our remit, should have elected for a spirit of generosity on the
corporate AmEx card. I did not attend; I was on leave.
However, this year at work, and I
enjoy what I do, has exposed me to characterisations of management that led me
to freelancing for almost 30 years. The way the use of authority and status can
gradually turn you into a misanthrope, as a product of both being patronised
and dehumanised at the same time. It is probably a management technique.
A Genuine Gathering
Then, I have just returned from the
restaurant where, as a volunteer to a Black men's support group, I was invited
by the convenor to thank us for the support we give to the group. It was just
five of us, but it was a very pleasant evening: no alcohol, sober talk, and
more communal support for each other.
That will be the end of such parties
for 2025. I do not, however, expect those who failed to perform to a standard
befitting of their station to have improved. Hopefully, I will not have to be
at the receiving end of another exemplification that would make Mr Scrooge
proud of this generation of graduates.
Wishing you all a merry Christmas
amongst those who care enough to show that they do. Enough said.