When is it too much?
It is interesting when you encounter
invasive disclosure requirements that leave you wondering if you have become
overexposed and vulnerable.
You meet a fine line and distinction
that probably is left to gut instinct as to how you respond and what you are willing
to give away. For instance, when over a decade ago the gap in my employment was
predicated on the need for cancer treatment and recuperation, I offered to
present a medical note from my consultant, but the employer instead requested my
medical prescription.
For me, that was egregious and
intrusive, I could find no rationale for such a request. Then again, I half
appreciated that the request was being processed outside of the boundaries of
Europe even as the job was in the UK and I lived in the Netherlands. Much as I
could have challenged the request further than I did, I felt that this kind of
unwarranted intrusion was not only adverse but that the cultural norms of a certain
domain had not cultivated the understanding of elements of privacy we Europeans
were accustomed to.
Handling the issues with tact
I soon removed myself from the process
and declined the offer because we had reached an impasse beyond which there was
no viable future in which I would have felt comfortable.
Indeed, the issues of privacy,
secrecy, and confidentiality work together to protect the person we are, having
the confidence that you only need to share what is necessary for the sake of
meeting a requirement without losing the mechanisation or automation of
expediency. I still believe even as a technologist that traditional methods of
handling private data have better checks and balances that are less susceptible
to unfortunate biases.
At other times, it is being
embarrassed by circumstances engendering almost a sense of shame or failure,
but these are all part of the story of life if systems are allowed to spare
our blushes.
I hope I still have some control
I consciously curate what I am ready
to reveal and share, I have faced some challenges that have required
inspiration and dare I say of divine provenance to address certain requests.
Important in all of this is being open about very significant elements of
myself that half a century ago would not have been possible and is still
detrimental in some countries and regions around the world.
Where you do not want to be is
realising you have lost control of your own narrative in the quest for
something you desire, but not at any price.
We have such wide-ranging diversity and have encountered serious adversity at various times, yet we are who we are with
all that pertains to who we are and the relationships we hold dear. We understand
responsibility and loyalty and appreciate the quality of character while striving
for a better world in whatever place we might find ourselves.
I guess I am grateful for
understanding and being understood. Even the most interesting and good books
need covers, and the most beautiful windows do at times need the curtains
drawn. Between the exhibitionist by inclination and the spectacle by duress,
neither should be the only choices about how we choose to tell our stories if
we are not fully persuaded.