Nigeria: Addressing sports corruption

They pulled it off

The Commonwealth Games 2010 in New Delhi, India have finally come to an end as what had all the makings of a farce suddenly transmogrified into a miracle of possibilities we never thought India could pull off.

The very first gold medal of the games went to Nigeria and it almost persuaded me to get interested in the events, I watched the swimming qualifiers, some of the running, a little of the cycling.

It never occurred to me that the selected national anthem for England was interminably long; at least twice I thought we were at the end and we were just about halfway through.

Sometimes, it makes you wonder why the English should be singing “Jerusalem” instead of the more rousing “Land of Hope and Glory” or the more solemn “I vow to thee my country.”

Won, lost and disgraced

In any case it was not the winning of medals that captured the news but the losing of supposed wins, the 100m female final that had the winner adjudged a false-start after she had taken the lap of honour and the spoils going to the Nigerian, who after her own lap of honour lost it for the dishonourable conduct of drug doping [1].

The pain threshold of the Nigerian had been tested since she apparently had toothache and took a “remedy” for this condition which then happened to a banned substance.

The jury might be out between the inadvertent and the deliberate but one is left rather deflated after the elated victory by technical default turned into ignominy, infamy and shame for being caught out as a cheat.

The pain of stimulation

To all the protestations of the Nigerian officials as the lady was stripped of her medal and ready for the impending disgrace I could find no place where Methylhexanamine [2] is used as an analgesic and if needed for medication is used as a nasal decongestant, might well be used for hypertrophied (swelling) or hyperplasic (cell multiplication) oral tissues which could be as a result of toothache but is no indication this drug has that therapeutic property.

It is more generally used as a stimulant and hence can give the users undue advantage in sports competition. As that matter was being handled, another Nigerian tested positive and though he did not lose a medal having come sixth, he had compounded the ignominy that Nigeria had already been subjected to.

The doping and testing chase

The issue here is that people try to cut corners, gain advantage and short-cut their way to success without the hard graft with the hope that they do not get caught out.

Testing is getting more sophisticated just as doping is taking on a more scientific bent that leaves testers in a catch-up game.

Maybe the Nigerians were already behind the curve on the doping game and having been promised the possibility of getting past the testers for victories that could bring amazing rewards; they threw caution to the winds and dared to do the ignoble.

Helping the sportspersons

One would think sportspersons and their handlers were quite conversant of the requirements for sportsmanship and the stringent testing procedures that attend to professional athletes.

Maybe sportspersons can no longer use over-the-counter medication for the fear of being caught doping and maybe certain foods need to be reviewed for doping content but the sports officials should be in close supervision of their wards and ensure they are not endangered by either ignorance or temptation.

It would unfortunate if sportspersons are not allowed to use medication for pain relief, common colds or flu just because they might gain undue competitive advantage.

In fact, along with the list of banned substances, there should be a list of commonly accepted medication for ailments that require self-medicated relief without the compromise of cleanliness in sport.

The aftermath

Much as other nationals were also caught doping, the third Nigerian caught probably did the greatest damage to our reputation because that disgraceful act cost us 2 silver medals, the one she won as an individual and that as part of a relay team.

In this case, this was an outright doping case of using testosterone prohormone and in the case of the second and third culprits they waived the option to have their B samples tested – they had been caught out, fair and square.

Probably the rewards for sporting success are great from the accolades of adulation to monetary gain and honours but at what cost?

Some have said maybe doping should be allowed to see exactly to what limits the body can be exerted in the pursuit of glory and the breaking of heretofore unbroken records but do we want to see people or drugged up constructs of flesh, blood and bones masquerading as human doing the impossible?

Retribution

Whichever way the people decide to vote, the battering Nigeria continues to suffer by reason of its representatives in international competitions or on the political stage has to stop; there is no reason for our sportspersons to imitate the kleptomaniacs, cheats and corrupt people who have saddled Nigeria with disrepute.

For change should come from all of us, especially sportspersons who are exposed and are role models whose positive image would in some ways inspire others to excellence through hard work rather than through cheating.

We probably need a sporting crimes body to manage that part of human endeavour in Nigeria as we have for financial crimes, a body to investigate and adjudicate on these matters with regards to Nigerians.

They would have a docket full of corruption investigations into our football management, sports doping, and the matters of selection, participation, loyalty and patriotism in service to Nigeria. These people are supposed to be the standard bearers of the National Pledge inspiring others to national duty.

Culprits should know that there is a lot more at stake than losing medals and facing bans – this is another part of the rebranding Nigerian exercise that needs looking into.

Sources

[1] BBC Sport - Commonwealth Games: Damola Osayemi loses gold medal

[2] Methylhexanamine - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

[3] BBC Sport - Commonwealth Games 2010: Third Nigerian tests positive

The National Anthem of England

I vow to thee, my country

Rescue our cities from these louts

The louts from England

One only has to walk into Amsterdam on a Thursday night, yes; you do not have to wait till the weekend to observe the spectacle and nuisance.

My countrymen from England have arrived for a stag weekend what is know as the Bachelor’s Eve party in more polite circles. The cacophony, the raucousness and drunken behaviour is just a complete turn-off, we residents would hardly be found in the centre apart from when we are tour guides.

Amsterdam however is not the only city to suffer from this loutish display everything antithetical to the English gentleman, Dublin at one time trying to ban these sullen troops from destroying the friendly atmosphere of their city.

Dope, booze and sex

These cities however offer different delights with Amsterdam leaving the many quite worse for wear. They dope up on cannabis which is considerably more potent that their local brands and try out the space cakes which leave them completely spaced-out, from Thursday night they might be too out of it to the point of missing their flights on Sunday afternoon.

Then the booze, drinking so much that it would be like fish drowning in water, excess is excess on these trips, the sights are too sorry to behold.

Cheap flights fallout

The advent of cheap, no-frills flights has helped allow the swarm of undesirable behaviour and probably undesirable characters to normally genteel locations. Now, I am not against people getting around the world or even just Europe by air, they should just leave their bad attitudes at home – there was a time that these people could not even afford to travel to the seaside in England – well, some flights are so dirt cheap you wonder if they are sat in church pews beside the fact that they almost have to pay for oxygen at high altitude.

Just about 2 weeks ago, a group jetted off to Bratislava, as the Eastern European cities have become some of the hot budget destinations and they must be wondering if they want that sort of crowd.

Caught and fraught

The groom stripped naked and jumped into the fountain in front of the American Embassy, something he probably would never do whatever his state of mind at Trafalgar Square in London.

In what I would call unusual Eastern European efficiency – now, I do not know much about them – he was picked up by the police, put in the slammer, fast-tracked through the courts and very well onto a two month prison sentence.

The parents have brayed and bawled about legal representation, access to phones and other exculpatory issues, well, I would hope this would serve as a serious deterrent for the chap was on the verge of missing his wedding on which his nouveau riche relations had expended close to £20,000 – as if I care an iota.

Anyway, the young man has been set free after his local Member of Parliament waded into the matter seeking mitigation and clemency. The father has also unreservedly apologised for his son’s behaviour – and rightly so.

Rescue our cities

I would hope that the police in my city, Amsterdam and those in other cities that get invaded by marauding nonentities would be a bit firm-handed on these miscreants such that a message is sent out that we would not condone these attitudes – there is no reason for our city centres to be abandoned because of the anti-social behaviour of visitors feeding on drugs, alcohol and sex.

The other fact is, being English does not confer automatic immunity from police action or harassment, neither does it allow for people to flout public order and decency laws with impunity - what you will not do in England is probably not allowed here too.

When you get caught, the police would most likely not speak English to you even if they can, you probably would not have that phone call to your solicitor, they might not have a number for the embassy or consulate and if you have really broken the law, being a foreigner is not a “Get out of jail free” card.

So, be warned!

I wear lipstick

Dope testing at the gym

Before you begin to think this is some gender-bending hobby for a weekend on the Rocky-Horror Show, there is a lot more to this than meets the eye.

There are a number of automatic payments that leave my account either monthly or yearly for services I have not really utilised as well as I could.

The yearly extraction pertains to a backup Internet Service Provider, which I took out over 5 years ago to augment my cable connection through a plain old telephone system land line which I probably used only twice.

The other is a gym subscription, which I took out a few months ago and I have sporadically attended, expecting to see radical change after just 30 minutes of easy cross-training.

The other day, I stepped out of the gym to be accosted by the doping squad from the national sports body that had come unannounced to check if our athletic prowess had been enhanced through banned substances like nandrolone, EPO and the lot.

The quest for muscle tone that rivals the guy who modelled for Michelangelo’s David is a determined exercise, especially if you cannot afford the aggrandisement of a tummy tuck.

So, after submitting a number of fluids for analysis, the results were conclusively inconclusive that we ended up with an E sample, because out-of-competition testing for non-professional athletes who are just casual gym goers has to be taken really seriously.

The fabric of society depends on this abject waste of time and purported idea of some Dutch minister, which thankfully has been consigned to the bin.

That drug-testing for ordinary gym users ever got discussed in any serious parliamentary forum can only indicate that a government has patently run out of ideas – unfortunately!

Live to excess, then cut it out

Now for the tummy tuck, a man-of-the-people governor from Nigeria took a 120-day sabbatical from his governorship activities to undertake cosmetic surgery in Germany; a growing pastime of the Nigerian elite, which by happenstance and circumstance led to the death of the president’s wife only last month, by misadventure.

As things transpired, on his way back from Germany, he took a detour through London, where he was nabbed for money laundering offences and committed to prison. He then hired a team of lawyers of Nigerian origin, which included a Queen’s Counsel professor at law who got him out of jail with a number of conditions that included not approaching any ports on the mainland whilst his case was pending.

One unfortunate situation arose when he sacked that legal team for an “all-white” team on the premise that English law would be more justly dispensed on the basis of race representation; an interesting malaise of colonial bondage that cannot be overcome by privilege or acquisition of riches.

Being under guard and house arrest with his travel documents confiscated and under bail to the tune of half a million pounds, an absurd situation that included arguing the Nigerian constitution in a British court, arose to determine if a governor of Nigeria has sovereign immunity from prosecution in another sovereign state.

Well, that only really applies to the president; the governor only has immunity within Nigeria, but that was an interesting legal fishing expedition.

The first lady governor in Nigeria

Last Monday, the governor walked into the governor’s house in his home state, having jumped bail from England disguised as a woman with lipstick and all. The circumstances of his escape from pending justice, which included his losing faith in the British system of justice, would make interesting reading.

These people with dubious provenance and privilege cause no end of embarrassment, just as one other governor did the year before.

Whilst he has been expelled from his party and impeachment proceedings have commenced, his supporters have gathered to welcome the hero of corruption, who is now a fugitive of British justice.

This is one case in point for the Nigerian government to address, even if it includes sending him back to face the music; we need to deal with these scoundrels who make it difficult for honest Nigerians to appear as decent gentlemen on their own recognisance.

Lipstick etymology

Meanwhile, whilst I defer to the fact that my by-line is hardly original but the motto of a young lady in a discussion forum, I can only concur that in many ways, “We all wear lipstick on our foreheads to make up our minds”, just as one wonders why a manicure has anything to do with women.

Reference

Nigeria governor flees UK justice dressed as woman - Guardian