Nigeria: Advice to the Second Nigerian Astronaut

Rattling the wrong cages

I have been amused by the news of Nigeria planning to put the first man in space in 2015 with the help of the British government.

As it transpired the village-rag right-wing tabloid press represented by the Daily Wail, or rather the Daily Mail has jumbled truth with raw sentiment to beat up both the British Coalition Government and corrupt Nigerians with the idea that development aid fuels the lavish lifestyles of the unaudited sources of wealth of Nigerians who have bought up pricey real estate in London and around the globe jetting around on their private aeroplanes.

The Guardian also addressed the matter of UK immigration policy as it affects innocent Nigerians compared to corrupt but rich Nigerians who have access to all areas where money can talk in the United Kingdom before the writer lost the plot – it is becoming too hard to separate the wheat from the chaff.

Choosing the right person

Others have addressed the errors of those flagrantly false opinions that have allowed sensationalism to get in the way of decent informative journalism. Hey! They need the circulation figures and the advertisement revenue.

In any case, I wonder if the first Nigerian to enjoy the selection for space travel is gender neutral, there is no reason why the first person of Nigerian birth and probably training should not be a female scientist who could be as equal in ability, knowledge, prowess and opportunity as any other male – a first Nigerian can be either and it does not have to be a man.

However, as we debate amongst ourselves about who should be the first to be launched into space and that programme should begin soon if we are to make that 2015 date, I have it on good authority that Nigerian talent has reached out to global knowledge that one of us has already been to space many decades before.

Our first astronaut

In fact, he has been twice, first in 1979 on a secret Soviet mission and then in 1989 on a second mission before the Soviet Union disintegrated and this led to drastic cuts in the Russian space programme. [Nigerian Astronaut – Lost in space]

Nigerian Astronaut, Air Force Major Abacha Tunde is apparently the first Nigerian to go into orbit and unfortunately, since 1989 he remains in orbit and the only reason why we know about him is because his cousin, Dr. Bakare Tunde has been soliciting the help of foreigners to filch away the emoluments and entitlements of his marooned cousin drifting around the earth, still alive and well in orbital distress.

Setting things right

In this age of whistle-blowers, who would have thought that the supposed first Nigerian to be sent to space is in fact the second Nigerian? And we have not had the heart all this while to retrieve our dear heroic countryman from space.

It begs the question whether the next person to be sent into space will not be abandoned there too like Major Abacha Tunde.

My advice to the next Nigerian astronaut is to set up a trust that properly bequeaths all entitlements and insurance pay-outs if required to the beneficiaries they intend so no rotten heartless cousin has the temerity to corruptly enrich themselves at their expense.

More importantly, we must as a matter of urgency bring Major Abacha Tunde back home, dead or alive, and accord him full national honours for doing our great Nigeria proud.

Nigeria: MegaNet Resource Limited isn't getting better at this

Address the improper tithe

The MegaNet Resource Limited (MRL) saga continues as changes are made to their website and more emails come into my possession with atrocious grammar and excuses that still do not address some of the fundamental questions I asked in my first blog.

For all that MegaNet Resource Limited has written to date; they have not touched on this particular portion of their original letter.

“Note that, there will be a reduction of 10% of your salary for the first month which will be in a written agreement between you and MegaNet Resource Limited, after that you will have no business with us.”

A justification cannot be found

I am yet to understand the reason and justification for filching the tithe of the applicant’s first month’s salary and whether the clients that have presumably engaged MRL are aware of this arrangement made as part of the contractual process of engaging new employees.

This arrangement is not only improper, it is reprehensible and no organisation should be party to having recruitment agents dip into the salaries of new recruits as the compensation for recruitment services.

A strange medical

I am still not happy with the idea that applicants need to pay up front for a medical before consideration when what should happen is that applicants first get a provisional offer subject to passing a medical examination wherein the offer becomes substantive leading to a probationary period of work that might include inductions and training.

As for the latest letter to come into my possession I will suggest MegaNet Resource Limited find another language for business in which they can be grammatically correct and plausibly coherent, this is a shame.

An “English” letter?

From: MegaNet Resource Ltd

Date: Sat, 2 Mar 2013 06:50:55 +0100

To:

Subject: Chat Rescheduleing

Dear Applicant,

Your recent chat invitation with the HRM of MegaNet Resources Limited has been rescheduled to 5th March 2013 (Tuesday) as a result of the questions and answers that arouse from the invited applicants that was were selected for a CHAT with the HRM in other order to verify the credibility of the company/job due to the FACT that a N2, 200 (Medical Fee) was imposed on them.

We are a Human Resources Consulting Organization with RC 1523321. Our head office is located at 26, Church Rd [Which I note is once again different from 26, Alagomeji Street, Church Rd. And different from the address that was there yesterday – can these people get anything right?], Ikorodu Lagos State. We recruits for banks and Industries Nation Wide, but right now we are recruiting for Unilever Nigeria Plc.

A questionable ploy, still

The reason why the N2, 200 Medical fee was imposed on you is for a Medical Test that is compulsory we carried out on every qualified Applicant we are to post to Unilever Nigeria Plc. and the money can’t be paid at the venue because Unilever does send an investigative panel to monitor the recruitment exercise and we wouldn't like a situation whereby they will think we are extorting money from applicants. The purpose of this chat is to screen the original copyies of your credentials before being posted.

Under normal circumstances, you are supposed to be given a written test then an interview follows, but due to the urgency of the request of for staff from Unilever Nigeria Plc we couldn’t achieve this that is why your CV/NYSC certificate was randomly screen regionally and an invitation was sent to 40 qualified 40 applicant Nation Wide knowing full well that as a Nigerian Graduate you will be able to cope with since an in house training that will be giving given to you.

Therefore, if you are one of those that was selected I will advise you to pay your medical fee and follow all instructions been giving being given to you oin the previous invitation letter to enable us to complete the recruitment process. It’s for your good and ours.

Yours Faithfully,

Dorcas Bode

Sec. [Now the secretary has upended the Human Resources Manager?]

Phew!

Bunglers beyond belief

After all the blogs I have written about MegaNet Resource Limited and the actions they have taken to-date, we can safely say they are bunglers of the first order, unprofessional to a fault and incapable of paying attention to meticulous and essential detail.

We met here with a situation where a company that may well be genuine has operated on the fringes of legality that it is almost impossible not to consider their speciality scamming.

When I compare they are doing to the activities of a similar but better organised recruitment activity by TrippleLink Global Solutions Limited who are organisers of the National Recruitment Fair 2013, MegaNet Resource Limited plays charlatan without dispute.

Pages, charges and videos

That is not to say I do not have some issues with the TrippleLink enterprise considering they have a website that has no detail of their business especially no indication of their Upcoming Events.

If you are going to put a webpage up as a business, make sure it promotes what you do rather than show your business practices as sloppy, uninspired and amateurish.

They will also be charging N3000 for applicants to attend, however, that would be for conference materials and other needs at the fair.

Then as we pay tribute to the inferiority complex that so easily impresses us of foreign things, they published a YouTube video that includes a Text-to-Speech voiceover with an American accent. Shame on them.

The MegaNet Blogs

Nigeria: MegaNet Resource Limited has all the trappings of a scam outfit

Nigeria: They Came to Bury MegaNet Resource Limited

Nigeria: MegaNet Resource Limited and Flights of Fancy

Nigeria: MegaNet Resource Limited and Flights of Fancy

If...

If what we end up doing with regards to MegaNet Resources Ltd (MRL) is force it to stop operating like a scam outfit that it polishes up its act to start operating like a professional recruitment services company, then we would have achieved something for the business landscape in Nigeria.

Besides that, it will become a greater benefit for MRL in the long run and we who have scrutinised, criticised and excoriated their practices can come to a point where we might deign to praise it as the most improved Nigerian recruitment firm by reason of social media activism, but we are a long, long way from that prospect.

What I find interesting is that since we published our misgivings about MRL, they have begun to put up a web presence and started to answer some questions, many of which I say are quite unsatisfactory, but these are early days yet. I have time for this matter and I will devote time to it.

Meganet Resource(s) Limited

In the 3^rd of March 2013, a week after my blog, they launched a website, a blog where they have attempted to present a professional front that looks like props of a desperate outfit fighting for some respectability.

Apparently, as they claim, they have been in business since 2009 and are involved in Staff Management, Professional Resourcing, Talent Management and Fleet Management services.

Herein is my confusion, is it MegaNet Resource Limited (singular) which appeared 4 times in the original email that brought on my first blog about this outfit being a scam or MegaNet Resources Limited (plural) which now appears on the website and it makes you wonder how the Human Resources Manager (HRM) could have gotten the name of his company wrong 4 times in addressing applicants.

Threats?

Then, I only had two comments to my original blog which were addressed in a following blog, however, agents and/or clients of MRL have been more active on this blog, claiming MRL is a genuine business concern and threatening the writer of that blog for making them lose an opportunity for a job prospect.

Address to no place

My second problem is with the Contact Details – They claim to have this address –

MegaNet Resources Limited.
Church Rd. Alagomeji Street,
Ikorodu, Lagos.
P.O Box 67430,
Lagos State.

According to comments in the other blog, MRL is based in Ikorodu town which is to the East of the Lagos metropolis but I have a problem getting my head round “Church Road, Alagomeji Street”, a road on a street, anyway, let us not belabour a point, I can only find Church Street, Ikorodu on Google Maps, all the other permutations of Church, Alagomeji, Road and Street do not seem to have been documented by Google Maps for Ikorodu town.

Then they claim to have a Post Office Box, but no letter will arrive here because a letter has to arrive at a post office box at a particular locality, the way that address is written, it is not referring to a post office box in Ikorodu town or in the sprawling metropolis of Lagos but in Lagos State.

You have to ask if they hired idiots to do this. How can a business not be able to present its visiting address and postal address in a sensible coherent fashion that does not make it look suspicious? These are charlatans whose every attempt at gaining respectability exposes them as worse, they should have kept their peace.

Who is touching you up?

Next, they provide a reason for why they are charging for the medical examination which they say is compulsory. Their words: “The N2,200 is for a Medical Examination that is compulsory we carried out on every qualified Applicant we are to post to our client company and the money can’t be paid at the venue because some of our client company do send an investigative panel to monitor the recruitment exercise and we wouldn't want a situation whereby they will think we are extorting money from applicant. The purpose of this chat is to screen the original copy of your credentials before being posted.”

I will not bother myself with grammatical corrections but if their client checks to ensure they are not extorting money from the applicant, does the client known that the applicant signs away 10% of their first month’s salary as part of the chat where original copies of credentials are examined? Whose account is that 10% paid into?

MD, we need you now

The moneys are paid into the HRM’s account because, “Is for easy access of fund to pay our medical expert because the MD is not around at the moment to sign a cheque for withdrawal of fund from the company's A/C and the request of staff from our client company is very urgent.”

This is interesting because it makes you wonder of the medical expert who might well not be a qualified medical doctor will be touching up people as if to give them a clean bill of health or even fail them and still walk away handsomely rewarded.

This should be a business to business transaction; the reputation of MRL should be such that the medical expert knows they will get their money from the company because whenever the Managing Director returns, all bills will be made good.

Charlatans

The more I look at it; even charlatans running an outfit on a shoestring will probably do a better job. Should there not be signatories to the company account and why does it not involve the accountant? Too many questions arise as to how MRL is run and by whom.

Again, from what I said at the beginning, Meganet Resources Limited has a long way to go for its activities to be viewed as professional, their rather limp effort leaves much to be desired. I am not out to get MRL but an organisation that fails to get its house in order will be a subject of public ridicule.

Do I think MegaNet Resource(s) Limited is a scam? – It looks like one, it operates like one and I have not been convinced it isn’t one. 

Nigeria: They Came to Bury MegaNet Resource Limited

Speaking up for MegaNet Resource Limited

Within 5 minutes of each other today I received comments pertaining to the blog I wrote four days ago about MegaNet Nigeria Limited.

I had good reason to think and suggest that the outfit was a scam and I laid out my case as to why it had all the appearances of a confidence trickster’s front to fleece people of their meagre means in return for an unconfirmed and improbable posting with Unilever Nigeria Plc.

Chinedu wrote: “Meganet Resource Limited are not scammers, my brother got a job through them. According to him he said the job was a contracted one been given to Meganet Resources Limited from an insider in the said company. Investigate properly before writing.”

Tosin then wrote: “Is it every job that requires you to pay that is a scam. Though I know it is improper but with the type of world "Nigeria" we find our self many things do happen. Well I have heard of Meganet Resources Limited and they are for real, I don't know the reason why people will be calling them 419.”

Act local but always think global

I will answer each of the claims made here because the issues need to be addressed as clearly as possible to raise the standard of business activity especially in Nigeria.

Now, MegaNet Resource Limited might have thought the sphere of their business is within a local community of people they could access via email whose interest in whatever they claim to be selling or offering a service for will be central to just Lagos.

Nothing could be further from the truth, much as any organisation can seem to act locally, they must think globally, no act that can be communicated in this world is local anymore, it risks at all times global scrutiny and those acts will be measured by the standards the scrutiniser deems are reasonable, fair, just and above reproach, regardless of where they reside, it is not a cultural or regional thing, anymore.

A fish rode a horse

Chinedu claims his brother got a job through them, I cannot vouch to either Chinedu or his brother and MegaNet Resource Limited (MRL) which is most affected by this matter has not put out a disclaimer with regards to the seemingly questionable practices I highlighted in my orginal blog. Chinedu will have to realise that I require a greater burden of proof than a flippant comment.

The provenance of the job supposedly contracted appears to have breached the transparent and somewhat professional channels one would expect both firms to have adopted. In fact, the lack of process and procedure would mean that MRL was most likely doing their own thing with the even greater possibility of prospective employees being sent on the wild goose chase for jobs which may or may not be existent since there was no clear official procedure involved.

Appear professional or else

I did enough investigation and if MRL were an organisation worth its salt, it would have a website, the protagonist will have a proper email address rather than a gmail.com email address and the email sent out will have an office address for MRL. This kind of activity is not meant for tyros and MRL’s activity in this regard was so amateurish, it had all the trappings of a scam.

You are either professional or not and when you are not professional, others cannot be responsible to giving you an image you do not possess.

Advance Fee Fraud?

Answering Tosin’s question, the answer in my humble opinion is Yes. If you have to pay for your medical examination and forfeit 10% of your first month’s salary one has to ask if MRL was indeed engaged by Unilever Nigeria Plc in the first instance and whether Unilever will want their global brand to be associated with what is evidently, suspect, underhand and to put a finer point on it, atrocious.

Now, Tosin does agree that the demand for money is improper and then tries to justify it to the situation, circumstance and location. Well, what is improper is improper and any organisation engaged in improper activity is unprofessional, probably fraudulent and needs to be excoriated in Nigeria and anywhere else their activities come to light.

Another point I must mention is why the money is paid into a personal account rather than the company accounts of MegaNet Resource Limited.

An abuse of position

We cannot continue to tolerate a society where those who have information and access use it to gain additional undue advantage of others to unfairly enrich themselves at the expense of the desperate and the vulnerable.

If Unilever Nigeria Plc did engage MRL, I do believe MRL would have had a contractual engagement for their services and that service would have been fully paid for by Unilever.

If MRL in producing they contract failed to fully account for the costs of recruitment with the view of pilfering and tithing the first month’s salary of the successful applicants, they should not be in the recruitment business.

They came to bury MegaNet

In my view, the comments posted by Chinedu and Tosin have literally buried MegaNet Resource Limited in ignominy and exposed the charlatans who have run a haphazard unprofessional outfit that has gotten by on the lean and the questionable for so long until it came under my purview.

MegaNet Resource Limited might well be a going concern, as to its viability conducting business with questionable practices; it does not have much of a future.

With regards to my original blog, I have not be persuaded that the MegaNet Resource Limited for all that is know about them is not the healthy front for an unhealthy scam activity – they have got their work cut out and I am not backing down from the impression formed by reading their original email to a prospect.

Finally, I reviewed the comment source and found both comments came from the same IP Address: 41.203.67.54, even though it appears the comments are from 2 different people with different email addresses. See the graphic below.

Nigeria: MegaNet Resource Limited has all the trappings of a scam outfit

An atrocity of conmanship

I just received this link in a DM (Direct Message) on Twitter and it exemplifies that atrocity of conmanship that bedevils vulnerable and desperate job-seeking Nigerians who some have found heartless schemes to exploit without conscience.

It is bad enough that the quality of English leaves much to be desired but I really do worry about how many schemes like this have had people go on a wild goose chase after jobs that don’t exist dangled as treasures within reach to relieve people of the very little they have.

The malevolent deviousness of this matter beggars belief and it is incumbent on every well-meaning person to expose all the miscreants involved in what I also believe is a scam – if it is not a scam, then the people involved will have to repudiate this so publicly with a media publication or else, we should all take it as given – A Rotten SCAM!!!

A scam, if I ever saw one

The body of the letter sent out as an email appears below. My comments are in italics or parentheses.

With reference to your application sent to MegaNet Resource Limited, after much analyses [shouldn’t this be singular?] of your CV, we are pleased to inform you that, you have been invited for a brief discussion with the HRM of MegaNet Resource Limited for immediate posting to Unilever Nigeria Plc.

[There is a great likelihood that no CV was sent; MegaNet Resource Limited is a front and Unilever Nigeria Plc. did not engage this company as a recruitment agent. Besides, no indication is given of the role applied for.

There is however a Meganet Nigeria Limited, it is NOT MegaNet Resource Limited.]

You have to ask, why?

Note that, there will be a reduction of 10% of your salary for the first month which will be in a written agreement between you and MegaNet Resource Limited, after that you will have no business with us.

[This is no doubt the piece de resistance, it gives the impression that a job has been secured and it has to be illegal and fraudulent for a recruitment agency to charge both the customer and applicant for the same service, if they were genuinely engaged by Unilever Nigeria Plc. The idea that there is a contractual agreement to fleece the applicant of 10% of their first month’s salary and then abandon the applicant is almost convincing in its intent that it looks like the a work of genius. If Unilever engaged MegaNet, I will like to know what they think of this.]

Meanwhile, you are hereby invited for a brief discussion with the HRM of MegaNet Resource Limited.

This is a requirement to meet you in person and review your credentials.

A gathering of the fleeced

Please find details of your invite below:

Date: 27th February 2013

Time: 9:30am

Venue: University of Lagos Multi-Purpose Hall (Main Campus) Akoka.

[An open venue with no links to either Unilever or MegaNet, they might be expecting a crowd but really, this beggars belief. Now, where is MegaNet based? Don’t Ask.

You can be sure that many will be gathering here and suddenly find kindred with many others who have been parted with their cash with no respite, recourse or succour but a stark slap of reality on the bare cheek and curses that will go no further than the strength of the breaths of their mouths.]

Required Materials: You should come along with 2 passports [passport sized photographs, I think this means], original copy of your credentials and the invitation letter for security check point.

[To really show that you’ve been had. I feel so sorry already.]

What will I pay to see you caught?

Note: You are to pay the sum of N2,200 Naira for [a] Medical [examination], as [an] external doctor will be at the venue and a file will be opened for you that will comprise your entire document including the medical result that will be taking to the place of your posting.

[What humiliation, a doctor will examine applicants in a multi-purpose hall in the presence of other applicants? What kind of medical tests will be conducted there? Why can’t Unilever or MegaNet foot this bill? Why do applicants have to pay out of their own meagre resources with no guarantee of compensation to apply and qualify for a job?

Is this not a variant of the Advance Fee Fraud scheme? You pay up for a service you are not guaranteed to get from a stranger who is more persuasive than the serpent in Adam's Eden.]

Find details of the account number below:

Bank Name: Ecobank

A/C Number: 0803043511

A/C Name: Adesanya Kayode

The culpable banks

[As usual the essential collection bucket of the scammer is a bank account especially where banks are usually derelict in monitoring nefarious activities of confidence tricksters who clear out the accounts long before the conned comes to and launches a complaint with the bank.

I dare say, banks by reason of their lack of vigilance, carelessness and negligence inadvertently aid and abet money laundering and fraudulent schemes granting anonymity to crooks who find the intermediary services of the bank a good front for a bad scheme.]

Please, come with the Teller to the venue, we don't accept money at the venue. This is for security reasons due to previous experience.

[One can only wonder what previous experience apart from someone coming to the realisation of this atrocity and demanding their money back on the spot – money in the bank is literally impossible to reclaim without extraneous means.]

Yours Faithfully,

[Faithful to his scheme and insincere to your plight.]

Adesanya Kayode

HRM

This, my friends, is a SCAM

I am at pains to find the professional import of this enterprise apart from it being a well-crafted scheme to fleece the vulnerable and desperate of their meagre resources.

It is my intention to expose such machinations which on scrutiny look too good to be true, cajoling and inveigling like a slithering venomous snake looking for easy prey.

As I happen to be involved in contractual engagements with Unilever in the UK, I will be asking their management of the veracity of this subject, because even if MegaNet Resource Limited has been engaged by Unilever Nigeria Plc for a recruitment drive, how they are going about it is reprehensible, wrong, atrocious, audacious and scandalous.

Tell Mr. Adesanya to take a hike

I can see no reason why MegaNet Resource Limited should not be put out of business forthwith and Mr. Kayode Adesanya exposed as a scamming fraud.

Thanks to TheWordSmith on Twitter for intimating me of this scam, there are no two words to it, it looks like a scam, it reads like a scam, it is crafted like a scam and it lacks the trust elements that would make us think otherwise – a scam, is a scam, is a scam and this my friends is what it is – A SCAM!!! I have responded to the comments to this blog here.

419 Reasons to Like Nigeria and Nigerians

Rebranding Nigeria

An unfortunate article sullying the reputation of Nigeria and Nigerians as having a propensity for Internet Fraud, 419-related crimes [1] and email scams has set in motion an inspired campaign to convert the Internet search for “fraud” to results that will now paint Nigeria and Nigerians in better light.

Peter J. Reilly, writing for Forbes.com published an article three weeks ago titled Nigerians Switching From Greed to Fear [2] which he changed to Switching From Greed to Fear after a Nigerian took exception to his views in a comment; he then went on to write an apology Fraud Has No Nationality- Apology to Nigeria [3].

Writing for change

Meanwhile, Nigerian bloggers starting with Jidenma Nmachi suggested every Nigerian on the Internet should start a blog [4] to militate against the negative stereotypes of Nigeria with the hope that the deluge of blogs will take Nigeria out of fraud context related Internet searches.

Meanwhile, I felt before we all rushed to crowd out the Internet with blogs there was a fundamental issue with English education in Nigeria in a blog titled Nigeria: The need for improved English education [5] which was original posted on my blog.

It is interesting to note that a comment left at the NigeriansTalk blog suggests my writing as an example of the reason why this is needed, because in Peter Iredale’s opinion, I “lack the ability to write in clear, coherent, [and] grammatically correct sentences.”

I will be the first to say I do not have formal English qualifications at graduate level and even though English is my mother tongue, I have never pretended to write for the illiterate or those whose comprehension of English is below a particular level of professional education. Mr. Iredale is however welcome to redline my copy, and I am willing to learn to express myself more effectively in English.

Concerted Positive Branding

Then Chika Uwazie uploaded a video response at the following site The Truth About Nigerian 419: Response to Peter J Reilly Article on Forbes [6] where she advocated “Nigerians need to do more positive branding in order to remove ourselves from this negative label of fraud” and email scams.

This lead to an innovative and inspired idea from Peter J. Reilly in 419 Reasons to Like Nigeria and Nigerians - Part 1 [7] where he suggested Nigerians make lists of 419 Reasons to Like Nigeria and Nigerians, in what I think is becoming a crusade that is beyond redeeming himself for an infraction to helping initiate a concerted effort to rid Nigeria of atrocious stereotypes.

I will suggest that all Nigerian bloggers write a blog titled 419 Reasons to Like Nigeria and Nigerians and basically use every opportunity to turn a negative slur into a positive and wholesome reclaiming of Nigerian pride.

The association of 419 and Nigeria should begin to yield positive commentary about Nigeria.

Sources

[1] Advance-fee fraud - From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

[2] Forbes.com | Switching From Greed to Fear

[3] Forbes.com | Fraud Has No Nationality- Apology to Nigeria

[4] Why every Nigerian on the Internet should start a blog

[5] Nigeria: The need for improved English education

[6] The Truth About Nigerian 419: Response to Peter J Reilly Article on Forbes

[7] 419 Reasons to Like Nigeria and Nigerians - Part 1

Police recklessness in Amsterdam - Update

Justice rescinded

Just an update on the events in Amsterdam regarding the unwarranted police raid on a Nigerian social event. On Tuesday, the immigration judge ordered that the people be released forthwith, but the Council of State has temporarily rescinded that decision on the application of the State Secretary for Justice who is appealing the verdict of the court.

Ironically, the selfsame State Secretary of Justice - Nebahat Albayrak- was handing out resident permits on Wednesday under the general amnesty for illegal immigrants plan - she being of Turkish descent, though one must say she is a lot more humane in her outlook than her predecessor who was the Minister for disintegration and Emigration - Rita Verdonk, known on this blog as Lady Oddjob.

Obviously, one can understand the concern of the government if they already have 23 illegal aliens who were illegally arrested in custody; letting them go would be a logistical nightmare if they have to be traced again, however, the premise on which everyone (legal and illegal residents) was arrested was the police assumed that patrons of the café were all illegally resident in the Netherlands.

In fact, the case of the police is too prejudiced for reasonable debate because the police cannot produce evidence proving that illegal activity is mainly perpetrated by those illegally resident in the Netherlands - it is a crass and subjective defence unworthy of the least of Dutch values.

These are seriously murky waters of institutionalised xenophobia because releasing the "illegal" aliens would create an uproar from right-wing elements of society who would say the government is doing nothing about crime first and then illegal immigration. The justice that is served by following due process in apprehending illegal aliens through proper legal conduct of the law enforcement and immigration authorities is conveniently subsumed or suspended.

These people would now languish in custody for another five weeks within which the Council of State would hear the appeal and decide.

However, if the basic legal premise indicates that the raid is unlawful, they should and must be released or this would be a classic case of Machiavellian justice - The end, justifying the means. Surely, this must be utterly unacceptable.

I acknowledge the blogging community that has highlighted this case to a wider audience.

Don Thieme at LifeCycle Analysis

Editor's Pick at African Loft

Lady Oddjob - blogs

I Go Chop Your Dollars - 419 Song Expose

We need to show the positives

I could not help but note the comment left in my blog about police recklessness in Amsterdam. It is a sad reflection on our society that there is a "White man's paranoia" when there is a gathering of people of African descent.

We who legally live in Western societies should and must not be afraid to gather for social events reflecting our culture, humour or traditions and we must not allow the nefarious activities of the few who besmirch the good name of our homelands to deny us the freedom to associate just because the police can be up to no good.

The freeing of the arrested detainees indicates a number of facts, the police were wrong in their assessment and actions; there are Nigerians who are law-abiding and legally resident in the Netherlands regardless of the impressions other prejudiced sections of society might have and the authorities can still be seriously embarrassed for being utterly irrational if people speak up for their having their right trampled over.

Pseudo-ambassadors undercover

If we all stay in our homes and refuse to associate with other countrymen and I can understand the reticence and suspicion of many, where would our host societies get to know about our culture, learn not to be afraid of our traditions and appreciate the good and worthy values we can bring to their societies?

We cannot allow ourselves to be completely subsumed into other cultures in the quest for acceptance, assimilation or integration, we are products of multiple cultures and we should celebrate all that makes us what we are.

Celebrating 419

This brings me to the "I go chop your dollars" song, it was released a few years ago, one does have to read the lyrics and understand what is being said because it is not so much about praising the scammers but highlighting a whole range of issues that affect the scammer and the scammed.

Having obtained the lyrics from Nikke's Index which appears to be pre-occupied with the public service of exposing scams, it is important to understand the language and the satire or irony that the song conveys - it is by no means a glorification of scam or 419 practices.

I would try and provide an exegesis for each line in order to help convey the thoughts.

I Go Chop Your Dollars

This is the song title - Chop means eat in Nigerian Pidgin English, but in this context it means swindle to spend. It has a corrupt connotation and this should be the giveaway about the song.

I don suffer no be small

Upon say I get sense

This highlights the socio-economic malaise in Nigeria, smart, intelligent and well-educated people who cannot seem to get opportunities for a career or more, it feeds a desperation to survive - in some cases, by any means possible - some turn to crime.

Poverty no good at all, no

Na im make I join this business

An excuse and a situation, one needs means to survive and we do not have the safety net of social services in Nigeria. Most of the time, the only people would have any means automatically become responsible for their extended families that whatever income they have is spread too thin to be of any effect.

Eventually, the benefactor would not be able to meet any of these needs and the supplicant has to come up with something.

A comment on Nikke's Index implied that most Africans are given to kleptocracy as a culture, we can ignore that comment, but there are issues in our societies that need to be addressed with good governance, infrastructure development, career opportunity and anti-graft revolutions.

419 no be thief, its just a game

Here he says that Advance Fee Fraud is not stealing, well, that is debatable depending on perspective. It is fraudulent no doubt because there is a false pretence in acquiring the trust that allows people to part with money for some sort of shady and corrupt deal.

Some people have turned this elaborate deception into an art or a craft and they are winning the game of deception, unfortunately.

Everybody dey play am

Everybody is playing this game. I think not, but probably everyone in that circle of desperation seeing others benefit from fraudulent activity is enticed into having a go and somehow, they do have rich pickings.

If anybody fall mugu, Ha! my brother I go chop am

This is the punch-line; if anyone is stupid enough to believe the stories then that person is game. Mugu means stupid fool - the etymology is Hausa but it has been adopted in Nigerian Pidgin English to mean the same thing.

Chorus

These are the tall tales that people believe and trust to become willing partners in the fraud and hence getting fleeced.

National Airport na me get am

I own the national airport

National Stadium na me build am

I built the national stadium

President na my sister brother

The president is my sister's brother - well that would translate to the President is my brother. However, sister in the Nigerian context could be a sibling, a relation or even close friend indigene of your town of origin.

You be the mugu, I be the master

If you believe all this, you are the stupid fool and I am the smart one - Mugu, appears again.

Oyinbo I go chop your dollar

White man, I would swindle you

I go take your money disappear

I would swindle you and be untraceable

419 is just a game, you are the loser I am the winner

Advance fee fraud is a game between you the losing fool and I the winner smart guy

The refinery na me get am,

I own the refinery - that is almost plausible, Nigeria is an oil-rich country, but really?

The contract, na you I go give am

But you go pay me small money make I bring am

I have a contract for you, but you have to pay kickbacks to get it signed over - Does the Al-Yamamah deal sound like this?

You be the mugu, I be the master... na me be the master ooo!!!!

Once again, if you believe all this, you are the stupid fool and I am the smart one

When Oyinbo play wayo, them go say na new style

When country man do im own, them go de shout bring am, kill am, die!

When a white man comes up with some money making (swindling) scheme, it is celebrated as a financial instrument, however, if my fellow countryman comes with a similar scheme he is criminalised, booked, jailed and shot down.

Oyinbo people greedy, I say them greedy

Westerners who fall for these deals are greedy, indeed they are very greedy and that is what these frauds rely on - greed.

I don see them tire thats why when them fall enter my trap o!

I am already fed up with the fact that they are greedy, but that makes them easy prey, if they can be deceived then they are game for the consequences.

I dey show them fire

I would do them for whatever I can, their money most especially.

My take

For all intents and purposes, this is really no glorification of the criminal activity, rather is simple social commentary on how desperate society is that they turn to crimes which some rationalise as games.

It highlights the willingness of the victims to believe the incredible in the hope that they can make large sums of money in some shady scheme - it is criminal too.

In what is seemingly a dog-eat-dog world, it is about pitting wits and some would in the end fall for the con because they are not half smart.

Once again, governments and law enforcement should do much to stop these activities, but it is change in the social circumstances of these countries that would sort this out - opportunity through merit, zero-tolerance of corruption and building of essential infrastructure to feed innovation and industry.

Solving the wrong problem

However, it is all a cop-out as the war on drugs - there is a growing demand in the West for the goods and rather than deal with drug addiction at home, they are spraying crops abroad.

It does not in anyway deal with the problem, rather, the makes the marketplace for drugs more violent. In the case of Advanced Fee Fraud, people who are vulnerable to tall tales about making large sums of money for doing literally nothing should first be educated and after education criminalised - it would take away the ready supply of greedy and gullible people who allow 419ers to exploit them.

The victims of fraud are not blameless in this matter and they too should be visited for being accomplices in nefarious and criminal financial activity.

Somehow, after reading through these lyrics, someone somewhere cannot take a joke and thinks it is glorifying scammers - I think not, it is the truth we hate to hear - the game, the mugu and the chop.

Police recklessness in Amsterdam

On the town as a Nigerian

It is unfortunate this piece of news did not get reported in the mainstream expatriate media and it would have passed me by without realising that certain horrible things are happening in the Netherlands.

As it transpired, the Grand Café is a successful night spot run by a Nigerian in middle of vibrant South-East Amsterdam.

On June the 15^th a popular Nigerian comic was performing to an audience of Nigerians and part of his routine included a 419 sketch "I Go Chop Your Dollars" which appears to praise practitioners of the criminal advance fee fraud activity; but one can say there are some who know irony, fewer who know satire and others are oblivious of social commentary that comic acts depict.

I go chop your dollars video

Nkem Owoh who was part of the cast of the Nollywood film Osuofia in London was the performer and as people in Diaspora settled down to a night of "Naija" entertainment the police in riot gear and all sorts of mob control paraphernalia swooped on the place and carted everyone away on the premise that they were all fraudsters, illegal aliens or criminals.

Silence of the representatives

Nary an outcry came forth about this event which was just over a week after the judicial murder of Nigerian citizen in Spain.

What gets me so incensed about this is that the police presumed a simple gathering of Nigerians automatically was a gathering of crooks and used that as probable cause to raid a social event in the name of keeping the law.

Lawless police activity

This case did not last long in court, the judge was not impressed and the Mayor of Amsterdam thought the acts of the police were suspect if not underhand, the judge has since ordered that all the detainees be released forthwith.

We basically cannot have a blanket swoop to fish out criminals whilst exercising unwarranted duress inconveniencing other legal and law-abiding people in the same gathering.

There just were no reasonable grounds for that police escapade, but the unfortunate and surreptitious fallout from this debacle would be beyond the justice that has been offered, Nigerian businesses unwittingly become pariahs as people would refuse to patronise those venues just in case they get roughed up by overzealous and stupid law enforcement agents looking for cheap thrills at the expense of ethnic minorities.

As this raid ended, some of the people arrested were driven straight to the airport [Indeed some were definitely illegal aliens, but you do not raid a pure entertainment venue to fish out criminals amongst other innocent people] and deported instantly; as I heard, some were already calling back to the Netherlands the next afternoon.

The law does need to be kept and upheld, but to use the emotive issue of asylum-seekers and the criminality of certain members of ethnic minority descent to abuse due process is beyond the pale and atrocious at best.

The stench of 419

In fact, sources indicate that this is not the first time their raids have literally closed down businesses where no crimes have been committed apart from the unfortunate pall of ignominy that others elsewhere have bestowed on the good name of Nigeria and Nigerians.

There is a serious Advanced Fee Fraud problem about and the Netherlands was at one time considered the capital of such activity.

There are a few Nigerians up to no good at all and the news wires create fantasies of their rotten exploits, but a lot more of us go about our lives in respect of the laws, as productive members of civil society and generally above reproach.

Something doing

Much does need to be done by the Nigerian government to discourage these activities, but citizens in Western countries have to realise that this fraud simply exploits personal greed; falling for these scams and acquiescing to the activities is just as criminal and should be punishable.

Unfortunately, we give too much sympathy to the fool who has so stupidly been parted from their money when both the scammer and the idiot need to be doing time - we cannot have criminals in our streets neither should we endure cretins on the same streets we walk.

References

Dutch police arrest 111 West Africans in 419 clampdown

Amsterdam: home of the 419 lottery scam

'I Go Chop Your Dollar' star arrested

Police force invaded café southeast undeserved (Dutch)

Certifying gullibility in Nigeria

Great opportunities in Nigeria

Somehow, I have always had a sixth sense about when a scam is in the offing. This goes back long way when I was a service technician in the eighties with an IT services firm in Nigeria which had very good initiation ideas but got run down by the happy-go-luck lifestyle of the owners. Quite sad.

I owe a lot in my career to the foothold IT Systems Limited gave me into IT and other interesting things I when on to do with high volume desktop publishing with Deji Sasegbon & Co Publishers who published the Nigerian Supreme Court Cases in 30-something volumes then using PCs and Xerox Ventura Publisher which put us well beyond the work Gani Fawehinmi was doing with older publishing methods.

Almost dazzled with red mercury

So, this interesting day, we got a call that from an office in a Lagos suburb of Ketu to help them fix computers. Hardly had I gotten there, another man arrived trying to get us interested in some deal that involved red mercury and turning black pieces of paper into wet 10 Naira notes.

Red mercury has always been the stuff of unbelievable myths, enough to engage and where you lose your guard you are done.

Somehow, he had 4 million of those notes that he had to pick up from the airport and he needed financial assistance to acquire more red mercury to process the notes, I was to raise 10,000 Naira and would eventually end up with 4 million Naira.

Now, would sound incredible to anyone, but I just knew within me that nobody makes money that easily except in a lottery, the danger was that once the deal was completed, there was so much at stake that rather than flying with the mile-high club, one would steady six feet under with the inheritors being the partners in the crime.

I walked away and thankfully, I had left no details about myself with them, now, in Europe, I would have been off to the police, in Nigeria, it was best to pretend nothing had happened live your life in peace.

Same crime different medium

So, when I started getting emails pertaining to the Advanced Fee Fraud – 419 scams, it did not take too much to realise this was variation on my earlier experience.

Unfortunately, many are too wide-eyed with gullibility to some extent, greed in others and plain foolish having suspended reason for fantasy, they get their fingers burnt and are fleeced of the pennies and pounds they have saved up all their lives.

Nigeria now has an anti-graft agency called the EFCC, this somehow strikes fear into those who cannot account for how that have come into so much wealth. Sometimes, it is as if everyone is a Cinderella with a fairy god mother who waves the wand and the next day you are rolling in money like it is going out of fashion.

There are many who are getting hounded justly to account in much more detail about the provenance of their wealth, some have even fled the country to avoid being apprehended, but the interesting part to it is how many of the old hands on the oil tiller are getting implicated by these investigations.

An instrument for bias?

Despite all this, the agency is susceptible to accusations of bias and the possibility of being used as a political tool for people who can pull strings in the agency like to Presidency to get at political opponents.

A number of cases have arisen where Nigerian citizens nabbed for money laundering abroad and rather than the Nigerian exercise the kind of interest that would allow for those cases to be dealt with in Nigerian courts and under our justice system, our Attorney General gets carted off to argue cases to keep those culprits abroad.

That ploy has in cases backfired because sometimes foreign justice systems would rather not wade into the murky waters of explaining the intricate matters of the Nigerian constitution or do the dirty work of other vested interests.

The Emperor’s funny certificates

Anyway, what is most interesting is that another scam as a result of the work of this agency is now being perpetrated; some people are issuing corruption-free certificates very much like one might get with a credit reference.

Some people are buying these certificates which they hope would be some sort of absolution testimonial when seeking political office or engaging in some business activity.

Well, what can I say? Does having a corruption-free certificate give me the confidence to deal with someone who has been so easily fooled?

This is the stuff the Emperor’s new clothes is made of and whoever came up with that idea must be both enterprising and a nasty crook, just as we have been educated this week about pretexting with regards to the investigation of Hewlett Packard directors, the clever crooks have been pretexting as EFCC officials with the authority to issue certificates which might be about being corruption-free but that does not make the recipient incorruptible.

Like with every scam, a fool and his money are soon parted.