Opinion: The wild can have you for dinner

Not for role reversals

I was in South Africa for two weeks last month and one of the activities my hostess thought I might enjoy was a day out at Lion Park.

It took one look at the pamphlets at the hotel where people were in cages and lions roamed free for me to decide that was not my idea of fun.

Courtesy of Mukumela Shuttles (Lion Park)

The concept of zoo for me whilst I am no proponent of taking animals out of their natural habitats to be imprisoned in cages for human-being to gawp at, is that at least there is enough of a barrier between me and the wild animal if I am ever in close proximity to it.

It is no chicken coop

What has become disturbing is the sense with which people visit animal or safari parks and suddenly forget that most of these animals are not tame, docile or harmless.

This reminds me of a young man who won a competition to be a park ranger in East Africa from the UK. Whilst walking through the bush, a venomous snake spat at him and that hit his shin. Rather than leg it at the rate that would break a world speed record, he bend down to wipe the venom off his shin and the aggressive snake lurched him, biting his face, leaving him with lost sight in one eye and 50% loss of sight in the other eye.

He returned home to sue the adventure company, though, beneath the veneer of the pity and sympathy that I had for him, I could not ignore his foolishness.

Wild in the wild

Almost 18 months ago, it was the case of an elephant in Kruger Park, charging a car and toppling it. Now, three days ago, an Emmy award-winning editor on the Game of Thrones was mauled to death by the king of the jungle in Lion Park. She rolled down her window where instructions clearly state customers must never do so and the lion got her.

Cute as a lion cub or any wild animal might seem on television, even from afar on safari, they are no respecters of persons and your vehicle or cage only provides enough protection if you follow all the safety notices to the letter.

And whilst a majority of those who go on safari to see wildlife do return home safely, one cannot ignore the fact that a few never do or when they do, they return with radically life-changing experiences that leave an indelible mark on them.

Africa can change your life

Africa, vast as it is with all its nature and wilderness is no playground, much as the Australian outback is no walk in the park. The animals out there can be dangerous, aggressive, predatory and lethal, a close encounter with these animals might well be a very last encounter in life.

There is no reason why one’s story should become a tragedy because of some foolishness or stupidity, and that is the cause of many of these preventable attacks, injuries or deaths.

If animals kill in the wild, there is no court to charge them for manslaughter or murder, they would have acted naturally as supposedly smarter human beings would have acted stupidly. One will not expect that animal to be put down, but we can afford the victim the dignity of a burial if anything is left of them.

One is saddened to have to write this, but the truth must be told and reiterated. When out in the wild, take every precaution to ensure you do not become another story of the wild having you for dinner.

Thought Picnic: What a trip

Navigating to Jupiter

I arrived at my hotel this evening first being worried about something I might have misplaced with the hope of finding in a day or two but worse still was the 10 mile journey from Chester.

Usually, when I get a taxi, the driver has a good idea of where to go and only once before have I had to give the driver the post code because he needed the aid of the satellite navigator (SatNav) to get to our destination.

By now, I have a good idea of the route and if I keep aware of my surroundings, I can tell if we are somewhat off-course.

So, I told the driver where I was going and he asked for the post code which I had to call the hotel for, he keyed it into his SatNav as it is called for short and there began this amazing journey.

Strange turns in wild places

I noticed he took an unusual turn and then he turned back because he had missed a turn, he said he was following the shortest route according to the SatNav, I wasn’t impressed, as I said he could easily have taken the dual carriageway and turned off – I was about to grab the edge of my seat.

At a T-Junction he drove on the right to turn right and then before we knew it, we were on a dirt road, forded a stream, passed between a walled avenue with barely enough space the cab to pass through, bumpy and disconcerting, I could only wonder if I had gotten into a cab to some eerie place never to return to civilisation again.

This was not helped by the fact that it was dark, cold, remote, quiet and we were strangers, it was not one of situations where you would have shouted out to the driver, “Stop! Already, or I’ll call the police.”

Not short by half

Between the urge to panic with hysteric abandon and the adventure of navigating the Welsh back roads to oblivion and beyond, I kept my cool until the side road came out unto a road more familiar to me – I knew, that even in the broadest daylight, it wasn’t something I would have ventured.

Anyway, we arrived at the hotel and though the route might have been shorter according to the SatNav, it still came to the same price – it made no difference.

The driver came to open the door almost too aware of my unexpressed displeasure when he offered a reduction from the metered price, I was not about to take the generosity without an opinion.

Who are these people?

So, I told him, the last time I had a back road safari like that in the dark was probably too far gone in my memory to remember, my nerves frayed already as if I could do with a stiff drink, I stepped out took my bags into the hotel to be met with new faces everywhere – Hotel California?

No, Mother’s Day had more staff hired and it so happens that the regulars were away or off duty, it was not until my bags in storage were brought to my room before I saw a familiar face – if I learnt anything, you cannot live in a parallel universe, the difference will be too disconcerting to be healthy or peaceful.

I’ll rather stick to the usual route no matter how long it is and see the people I am most familiar with in a hotel that I have stayed in for the past 8 weeks.