Silly Dingo hooked by Nubian money boobs

A tale so funny

This must be the subtext for a saga – Gullible from Oz – as we read earlier this week of an Internet bride scam.

A sheep farmer, Des Gregor, 56 from Australia had been involved in some Internet dating that blossomed into a virtual love affair with Natacha (picture downloaded from the millions on the Internet) – a twenty-something Liberian refugee who was in Mali. They somehow came to an arrangement where he was to visit Mali to get married to her, pocket a dowry of $86,000 and take her home.

Now this is as incredible as it gets as the press makes issue of the Internet fraud element of the story which led to him being kidnapped by the fraudsters, maltreated and imprisoned for 12 days as the culprits reversed the dowry sum into a ransom for his freedom.

It took some smart thinking on the part of the Australians to convince the kidnappers that Mr. Gregor would pick up the ransom from the Canadian embassy in Bamako which brought his freedom and living to tell the tale.

The gruesome picture of a hacked-to-bits sheep farmer who is already hacked-off by the scam does not bear scrutiny.

Ring the ding for dingo

However, let us examine the whole plot and see how many bells (Ding!) we can ring for each scam alert.

This was a twenty-something Liberian refugee living in Mali – Ding! – Considering the situation in Liberia, a refugee in Mali would probably not have ways and means or would be in a desperate situation to get out of Mali on any pretence.

He was going to get married to a lady whose name was only Natacha – Ding! – What is her family name? She might not have anyone giving her away, but she definitely would have an identity more than plain Natacha which does not look English or French, probably Russian – Ding! – The Australian authorities would have required a maiden name even though she would have been addressed as Mrs. Natacha Gregor.

Usually men pay the dowry – Ding! – If a woman or her family had such a lump sum to give away, it would not be for a lifetime of shearing sheep.

The dowry was in the sum of $86,000 – Ding! – How does a twenty-something refugee from Liberia get her hands on a sum like that to give to a man she has never met who is planning on being her husband?

You get to the airport at Bamako and your true love and beau is not there to meet you – Double Ding!! Ding Dong bell. – And he probably does not have a return ticket.

Ruled by his ding

There were enough Dings in that analysis for anyone with more brains than a sheep farmer to realise that this was looking like a humongous scam of a silly wally that would get the full ridicule treatment from yours truly.

In the end, one cannot say if it was the excitement of getting under the sack with a Nubian beauty's svelte body as his manhood exhausted itself on half-price erectile dysfunction medication or the thought of getting a new sheep shearing machine with the largesse of the dowry that compelled him to fall for this scam – my countrymen would call that a Double Whammy.

I have always attributed greed to people who fall for scams like this, now; I have to add lust to the equation.

Oh! For a title to call this blog – something Australian with a twist of black beauty zest – I’ll try – Silly Dingo hooked by Nubian money boobs. I should be working for a tabloid, this is crass, but I like it. For once, Nigerians do not seem to be involved in this deception and that is good.

Insult laws an insult to democracy

Humourlessly derisive

Sometimes, one is almost in great shame to be African when news of crass stupidity emanates from the continent about leaders who think they are demigods.

Obviously, there is probably some sense in protecting public officials from unwarranted insults and verbal attacks accompanied by threats of violence.

However, the whole thing about insulting leaders and having the freedom of expression of the culprits curtailed to the extent of exercising the law of crime and punishment is a bit of overkill.

Indeed, some culprits might have to be cautioned in order to forestall civil unrest, but that should be as a very last resort.

Lèse Majesté

In Thailand where lèse majesté laws are part of the culture, it is understandable that revered monarchies can expect a level of protection from unnecessary assaults to their person or office, however, there is a Quid pro quo in this relationship - between king and subjects; the monarch should be seen to carry his office with grace and respect to the point of being irreproachable.

What I fail to appreciate is leaders who assume a position of authority either by democratic mandate or some putsch of suspicious intent who then suddenly arrogate to themselves lèse majesté mystique as if they were kings anointed of God to rule over man and not answerable to anyone.

This kind of primitive exercise of humourless conduct is unbecoming of democracies not to talk of the 21^st Century, of all times.

Writing fiction as truth

So, a secondary school teacher asks a final-year class to write a humorous essay about the mistress of a fictitious African leader; some zealous sycophant comes across the material and automatically suggests that the President of Mali has been insulted.

This becomes a charge that goes to court and they end up with suspended jail terms in a hearing that took place in a closed court.

So much for democracy in Mali if it cannot be underpinned by the all important freedom of expression because some patronage seeking prosecutor has been consumed with irrational zeal and reckless abuse of office and error of judgement. This is unlike a case in Zambia where the courts are not only more circumspect, they were reasonable and stopped the deportation of a satirical journalist for using animal metaphors to describe the president.

Insult laws an insult to democracy

It would appear laws similar to this silly exercise in stupidity called "insult laws" exist in 48 out of 53 countries in Africa, allowing for the freedom of press to be curtailed and giving the government to power to stifle debate, dissent and opposition.

Germany and Poland has laws that make it illegal to insult foreign heads of state, especially those present in Polish territory when it comes to Poland and that is sensible enough.

If only we could see more noblesse oblige and less lèse majesté aggrandisement, we might just get on with making Africa less of a global laughing-stock when more important things are there to be done.

Makes you wonder, if the President of Mali really does have a mistress, a concubine, a harlot, a harem, a dominatrix in his palace or he is given to more unmentionable lewd conduct?

Now, I would be persona-non-grata in Mali along with Thailand, Turkey, Zambia and Zimbabwe. I am doing fine.

Stupid laws

Becoming persona non grata in Thailand

Cellophane skinned lion hearts

Is Nigeria a model for Africa?

The prevailing international opinion

The Economist is an international affairs magazine published weekly with a circulation of over a million of which 53% are American.

We have seen justifiable outrage in the blog world about ways in which Nigeria is portrayed negatively and sometimes unfairly.

However, we can agree on the point that the elections conducted last month left much to be desired for the democratic progress of Nigeria and set a poor example of the exercise of universal suffrage in Africa.

Nigeria is losing respect

The Economist published a good few articles about Nigeria and the elections making some incontrovertible assertions that could only heap shame on the process.

In a leader, last week, Will Africa Ever Get It Right? (Subscription might be required to read articles in The Economist) I excerpt a number of statements verbatim.

"And yet their rotten leaders presume they have some kind of right, by virtue of their country's size and natural wealth, to strut the global stage as leaders of the continent. How wrong they are."

This simply indicates that Nigeria is losing respect globally by virtue of its inability to safeguard the sanctity of a democratic process with free and fair elections.

"Any notion that Nigeria should be taken seriously as a continental spokesman, let alone a model, should be laughed out of court."

I think this speaks for itself, this is difficult to read but we can only improve international commentary by improving things at home.

Nigeria is not Africa

It goes on to say that the events that happened in Nigeria should not be viewed as an African malaise, Nigeria is NOT Africa, it states categorically.

A lesson in contemporary history shows that the excuse we have given about not being able to conduct elections to the standard of the West still leaves the obvious progress of a once poorer and less organised Asia overtaking Africa like a horse to a tortoise, in a flat race.

"The killer comparison is with Asia, where many countries suffered from the same colonial humiliations and rapacity that independent Africa customarily blamed for its early failings.

According to the World Bank, real income per head in the 48 countries of sub-Saharan Africa between 1960 and 2005 rose on average by 25%, while it leapt 34 times faster in East Asia; countries like South Korea and Malaysia were once as poor as Ghana and Kenya.

The excuse of colonialism wore out at least a generation ago-and Africans know it."

The throwback to colonialism can not more hold water, the Asians also had the same problems, how did they get out of those problems?

The integrity of the poor

That concludes with "In the end, Africa must help itself, just as Asia has."

Then in this week's edition under the title - Swathes of desert but oases of progress - they highlight how dirt-poor Mali and Mauritania, have for the 5^th and 1^st time respectively conducted democratic elections which observers have called fair.

The world order is changing, as might without honour is losing value and poor with integrity is turning into the right currency for aid and investment.